How to deal with panhandlers

[kfrere]

Some people are very kind-hearted and have trouble saying no.

I was on the Salvation Army's Advisory Board for many years. The SA is available to any person anywhere in the world by simply calling a toll-free number. The SA provides housing, clothing, food, payment of utilities, counseling, job search, etc. for any person who is not under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Even if they are under the influence, in extremely harsh weather the SA will run up the "White flag" outside of their buildings to let everyone know they are welcome to come inside until the weather threat subsides.

When approached I tell these people that I'm happy to call the SA for them. They always walk away.

[Oregon Ms]

Back in the day I was in Seattle pushing my well dressed baby in an equally well manufactured stroller. A woman with a baby who was standing on the corner approached me, looked me over and begged me for some money for diapers for her baby.

I gave her $20.

Seconds later a man in a suit who worked in the building on that corner chased me down and ripped me a good one. He said, "You did not help that baby. That baby is passed from person to person all day long and used as a prop. Those people are using the money they get for drugs".

Lesson learned.

Let the Salvation Army and social services make the decisions.

I lived in Eugene, Oregon for decades. I have a lot of stories to tell regarding the beggars.

Just say no and send a check to your favorite charity. You'll be doing everyone a favor.

[Royce]

Originally Posted by kfrere

...When approached I tell these people that I'm happy to call the SA for them. They always walk away.

Excellent!

[hapsam]

I recently got approached outside a fancy restaurant at the St. Regis in Atlanta by a very nicely dressed young woman asking for $30 for gas to get to Birmingham, AL. I guess she figured that to anyone in that area $30 is the same as $1 at a rest stop. She cussed at me when I said I did not have any spare cash.

[Viking000040]

Lots of good advice, but I will add, If they offer you a "no hard feelings" handshake, do NOT under any circumstances take their hand. They may decide that since you won't give them money then they will just take is and the handshake is a way to get control of you while either they or an accomplice cold cock you.
As for the guy who mentioned sticking a gun in their face, this is a real good way to get yourself hauled off to jail. I have a concealed carry permit and have taken numerous classes on what the law will allow you to do and sticking your gun in someones face just because they didn't take your first no serious is not cause for brandishing your firearm. It doesn't have to be them that report you, it can be the soccer mom in the car at the next pump, or the clerk in the store. At the very least, the police will detain you, but they can file charges and then you will be wishing you had just given the person the $5, or just driven off or basically anything other than pulling your piece.

[MickeyC]

First, I ask them if I can borrow some money. They usually say something stupid and walk off. If they get rude or won't leave I pull out the pistola and they leave pretty quick. I never answer my door in a park or campsite without my pistola hidden in my hand. I always have it in my pocket when I am away from my trailer. Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

[Rzrbrn]

I get accosted at least once every camping season, many times more. I say no, but it did get dicey a time or two. Some ask for money, one (young very buff young man with tattoos, probably an ex con) showed me a parked car with a woman and a baby. I said no. Another time, a young lady drives up in a car and asked if I would fill up her tank. One time a guy jumps out at a busy stop light and cleans my window, even as I roll down my window and I tell him no. I gave him a buck rather than get into an accident.

My wife had a guy lay down behind her car at a Kroger and would not get up until she gave him money. She was with a girl friend.

I have been accosted at rest stops a number of times, asking for a ride or money.

Just last week I pulled into a Regional gas station, lots of people, good upscale location. Did not notice the old van on the other side of the pump. Guy was outside standing around after I filled up. I left without any contact. Get home and get a call/email from Discover card, asking about a $500.00 expenditure hundreds of miles away on the same card moments before. How he got my card number is a mystery. I even had jiggled the card scanner on the pump, which I aways do.

You can get in serious trouble flashing or threatening with a gun. Pepper spray might be better, but by the time you get it out it is too late, the situation has resolved one way or the other.

Always using a stall with a door, if possible, is something I will do from now on, good tip.

[VT Wanderer]

Every year on our way back north from spring break in FL we stop at the Fayetteville exit off I-95 for fuel and doing an overnight at Cracker Barrel. I can almost count on a panhandler at the gas station. If approached I just say... "can't help you" (non confrontational). They have gone away. I always mention it to the attendant and tell him he's going to loose business with them at his business. He should call the cops to clean house.

[Woosch]

How about "I have some people from my church that can come down and help you out of your predicament." Haven't had anyone take me up on it yet.
Two interesting things in the last year. One was two young girls at the off ramp of the freeway begging money so they can buy their Prom dresses. Another was a guy who wanted me to fill up his gas tank since he didn't have any money. Im driving a fifteen year old Toyota and he has an almost new BMW 5 series not to mention he's dressed in designer clothing and I'm in Costco attire. Jeezze.

[Fred L]

Oddly, I have never been approached while towing and except for a couple years ago on a street corner outside of Memphis, I cant recall any other encounters in many years.

I give at church and know very well that a good portion of my offering is used to help those down on their luck. I also donate money and household items/clothing to the Salvation Army (and no one else).

My first and pretty much last experience was almost 40years ago, fresh into the workforce and working in NYC. One fellow dressed in a Vietnam vets garb would lay in the corner of the subway station. I would usually ignore him, but it was difficult. After several times of walking past him, my compassion got the better of me so I thought about it and walked up to him and offered to buy him a sandwich. He ignored me and asked others for money. I became a bit annoyed and repeated myself and he spit at my feet.
Newspaper vendor 20ft down stopped me as I walked away and said the guy was not a vet, dressed that way and was an alcoholic. Sad, but out of my league to assist.
A small portion out there need our help, sadly the scam artists ruin that. Give to your church, give to the Salvation Army, or volunteer at a shelter and if you feel the need for a clean conscience, your covered.

BTW Leroy, am also a right to carry person here and not discounting your right to defend your space, but not good advice to give to someone here who does not know the complex gun laws that now exist state by state.
Try pointing a gun in someone's face in this messed up state of NJ or NY or other northeast states and your vehicle will be impounded and you will be hauled off to jail. I suspect there are several other states that are just as severe.
Victims rights aren't what they used to be.

[Protagonist]

Originally Posted by Muriel 1

What is the best way to deal with panhandlers at fuel stops and rest areas?
It seems some are very creative with their pitch.

There is no one right answer. Some people beg because they really need the money for immediate-assistance purposes. Others do it as a scam because it's easier than working for a living.

Way back in the late 1980s I used to moonlight as a bouncer and occasional fill-in bartender at a nightclub in the French Quarter. There was a perennial fixture near Café du Monde, an overweight middle-aged man dressed in scruffy clothes, with a shopping cart full of Goodwill Store rejects and a small scruffy mutt tied to it with a leash made out of string and a collar made from a bandanna.

One day, out of curiosity, I camped out at Café du Monde and watched him, while getting fully caffeinated with café-au-lait and beignets. In the space of an 8-hour "shift" he raked in a couple hundred dollars. Then as it started to get dark, he pushed his shopping cart into the paid parking lot behind the floodwall, and loaded the shopping cart and dog into a nearly-new Chevy Suburban and drove home. I followed him long enough to see that he was going to a very fine— and very large— home in the neighborhood called "Old Metairie." His scam was a thriving business, and his annual take-home pay was probably more than mine, and all undocumented tax-free cash.

But the ones who really amuse me are the ones who hold up signs saying "Homeless and hungry. Please help." On more than one occasion, I've encountered such a person on a trip home from the grocery store, or from a restaurant dinner, and I would offer them some of the food I had with me. Almost without exception, the response would be "What is this stuff? Gimme money!"

[openroad118]

I tell them no and go about my business. The only ones I've ever given money to weren't asking for it in the first place, like a young woman sleeping in an all-night laundromat on the bench, or kids on the road traveling with backpacks. Now that's good karma.

[triumphleroy]

To each his own!
At 75 years old If my gut feeling says my old body is in danger, they are not going to get the drop on me if I can help it!

[PapaBear777]

Guy hits me up with the car around the corner, need gas, taking sick kid to doctor story. I am in my pickup and happen to have a five gallon can of gas in the bed, which I try to give him. He says no and walks off. Three months later same guy, same parking lot, same B.S. story. I tell him I tried to give you gas months ago, get out of my face, and shame on you for making up a story about sick kid. He mumbled and walked off.

[WestieHouse]

I am a licensed psychologist and veteran navy nurse corps officer. I have worked with veterans and consulted to VA medical centers, emergency rooms, the Red Cross, and social service agencies across the country. I have driven and camped extensively in all 50 states and 10 Canadian provinces. I’ve attended concealed carry seminars given at rv shows. I have experienced most of the scam approaches noted above. In short, I have seen quite a bit.

My point is not to review my background so much as to give recognition to the many excellent suggestions made in this thread. Even the ones that are ill-advised are addressed politely and accurately by others. This dialogue informs all of us and has the benefit o causing us to reflect, and prepare for, the inevitable situation that often comes as a surprise no matter how experienced we think we are.

The most important principles I extract from the above are:
1. Situational awareness is critical whether towing a trailer on the Interstate at 60 mph or relieving yourself in a public restroom.
2. Being familiar with this subculture and the various approaches used to arouse our emotions. Sympathy first. But fear, anger, and anxiety also give the other person the advantage just as effectively. All lead to less effective and more risky behaviors likely to cause you personal injury or expensive legal outcomes. Remember the legal system is the familiar territory of many (not all) of these folks.
3.Maintaining your composure is critical. Only then can you respond (deliberate thoughtful action) instead of reacting (out of emotion).
4. Knowledge and training are essessential, even if it is only “cognitive rehearsal” obtained by asking yourself, “what will I do when I experience these events.”

Great forum!

[Countryboy59]

Geez Louise. I just fake being deaf and get in my truck. Works every time. Then again, I don’t give the impression of being someone that wants to be messed with. I’m pretty crabby when I pump gas, and it shows.

[streaminwild]

Originally Posted by openroad118

I tell them no and go about my business. The only ones I've ever given money to weren't asking for it in the first place, like a young woman sleeping in an all-night laundromat on the bench, or kids on the road traveling with backpacks. Now that's good karma.

I give the ones that ask 1 or 2 dollars. I was in McDonalds a few years back and noticed a 8 yr old crying. His face had burn scars, his mother was trying to calm him down while his 4 yr old brother sat silently eating his meal. I don't know why, but I gave that woman a 100 dollar bill. As I walked out, both were in tears. Another example is, if I see a young person do a good deed...ie open the door for a old couple, I will buy his or her meal, or give 20. A military vet with a amputation eating dinner with his date...100 anonymously. Two 20 yr olds stopping traffic, so a family of geese and six goslings can cross a busy road, 50 dollars. Yes the ones that don't ask get more. We don't see good deeds anymore, so I reward them when I see them. Not very often do I see compassion in the human race when no one is looking. I'm sure politicians still hug babies, when the camera is not around............... not. Sorry for the Hijack.

[Sharkboards]

Even in my own neighborhood, there's a pathetic looking homeless man, clearly mentally ill, sitting in front of the 7-11 in the most horrible stained clothes that are clearly pulled from the garbage. He comes back after the police run him off.

One day I had to avoid him yet again, and asked the cashier if I should just give him a little money.

She said, "honey, he has more money in his pocket than you will earn in a week. Don't give him any!"

Giving to real charities is always a good choice.
Marc

[rucos]

I have had the gas scam several times travelling in the states but never yet in Canada, although im sure we are running it too as we have lots of beggars as well.

I drive many thousand Kilometres in Mexico as well as the US every year and there are a lots of beggars everywhere.
In Mexico I always have a container in my truck of pesos coins ...most people who ask I give them a few and they are very thankful ... missing limbs I give more.

In the US and Canada I always have some dollar bills/coins and when Ive been approached I give them a buck or 2 usually but not always ...they've always said thank you/ god bless and walked away.
I would estimate this amounts to no more than maybe $10-20 in a month long trip and is much easier than a confrontation .

Never pull out a wallet .... keep it separate !!

The thing that really scares me is knowing there are all kinds of crazies who pack around cannons thinking that is the best solution to the worlds problems .... many people are just down on their luck and some yes are scammers.
Hopefully the scammers partner doesn't shoot you or the wife in the back of the head when you pull the gun on them, over a few bucks!

I think you need to carefully pick your confrontations in this life ,and I honestly am extra careful in the USA as we think most everyone we see is armed and a disagreement could turn deadly in a hurry.

Don't get me wrong we love the USA and our Americans friends ,and I have traveled through the states since I was born (my grandmother lived in Seattle), but we are very aware that an RV park is quite possibly an armed encampment, and you don't want to tell your partying neighbour to please quiet down!!

Is not giving away 1-2$ worth a confrontation?? ..... I guess everyone needs to make their own call.

[Countryboy59]

Originally Posted by rucos

(snip)

The thing that really scares me is knowing there are all kinds of crazies who pack around cannons thinking that is the best solution to the worlds problems .... many people are just down on their luck and some yes are scammers.
Hopefully the scammers partner doesn't shoot you or the wife in the back of the head when you pull the gun on them, over a few bucks!

I think you need to carefully pick your confrontations in this life ,and I honestly am extra careful in the USA as we think most everyone we see is armed and a disagreement could turn deadly in a hurry.

Don't get me wrong we love the USA and our Americans friends ,and I have traveled through the states since I was born (my grandmother lived in Seattle), but we are very aware that an RV park is quite possibly an armed encampment, and you don't want to tell your partying neighbour to please quiet down!!

.

Oh boy.