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Old 08-13-2019, 06:35 PM   #21
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My daughter has and drives a bigger truck and trailer than I do. When I met my wife she had a bigger pick up, bigger boat, a dump trailer, some tractors, a goose neck trailer to move the tractors on and other equipment.

Sure she can drive the truck and trailer. I do most of the driving cause I like to.
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:09 AM   #22
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Getting to a place sometimes is the 'easy part'. Getting out can be difficult.

1- The reverse of driving through Chicago, Los Angeles or Houston in Nevada
2- An intersection in Downtown St. Louis but in Utah.
3- The exit in Detroit- getting out of photo #2.
4- Avoiding bus exhaust in New Orleans... backed down again... in photo #2.

The Ladies are speaking out and clear!

What makes a trip worth doing? Having a spouse who has a sense of humor and can focus when it is needed. In the back country it is all 'Happy Trails to You'.

Men like to drive because... well, they know where they are... going? That is my excuse. I am their King, you know.
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Old 08-14-2019, 08:42 AM   #23
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One weekend we were going to a lake 30min away and I asked my wife if she would drive the van with our boat attached and follow me to the lake and she said after we got to the lake I would have to back track and find the boat.
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Old 08-14-2019, 01:03 PM   #24
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18 yo daughter was really nervous about towing — for a few miles. She did a great job and was comfortable after a short while. She’s a really good driver in general.
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Old 08-18-2019, 10:08 AM   #25
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Honey take the wheel

Learning forward is a must! Learning to back up should also be required for co-pilots. I (the wife) worry as to what would happen if my husband was “disabled” while traveling. I also intend to get backing up down if only to illustrate to him that the signal-persons job ain’t as easy as it seems. Still practicing but seems to be a safety precaution for both persons to be skilled in all manner of driving (am aware of a couple who experienced the horror of the driver having an aneurysm while on the road behind the wheel). Better safe than sorry.
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Old 08-18-2019, 10:09 AM   #26
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As a single woman camper, I’ve made it my business to read and learn and ask questions about this whole process of towing and maintenance. I’ve chosen trailers I can handle alone. It is a disservice to your camping partner if they cannot do every task involved. If you’re the primary driver and setup person, make sure your partner can also do it alone and with confidence. You never know when you might twist an ankle or worse and then you are stuck. Stop dividing up tasks, learn to do it all, including cleaning the toilet��.
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Old 08-18-2019, 10:34 AM   #27
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Now one day you’ll wake up alone..Wife, truck and Airstream will be long gone..
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Old 08-18-2019, 10:54 AM   #28
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If they can't drive it they don't get to go.

Everyone should be able to do the tasks required for the lifestyle they live. Don't have to be an expert just accomplish the task or in extreme cases know where to find help me.
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:34 PM   #29
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My wife drives. We trade off. I do most of it but she is really good when she takes over. She hasn't backed it up yet. That is yet to come.
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:34 PM   #30
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My wife has been towing for a dozen years. For many years before that we split the driving after I realized sometimes driving hurt my back more and why shouldn’t I get a rest too? I used to like driving, but now not so much. She still likes driving, so good. She prefers me to drive through heavy traffic, construction, or nasty roads, but she does fine when she does. I can see signs further away in urban areas and see better at night, so I am a better spotter for turns and for dark nights plus I learned to drive in NYC so traffic means nothing to me, but I like being a relaxing passenger too.

Getting her to back up a trailer has been impossible though. She says if I can’t do it, she’ll ask someone to help. What if no one is around? What if they screw it up? But if I can’t back up, I’ll probably be in a coma or worse, so not my problem. I hope she can make it to the service.

We share the set up and break down duties so we can each do everything, but she has not learned the new hitch yet. She was fine with the Equalizer, but not the new one. And I don’t know if she could lift the hitch head to attach it to the receiver. I leave it on as often as I can, but sometimes that’s not practical. I’m not sure how much longer I can lift it—I have always figured the weight of the hitch head is what will end our trailer years.
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:49 PM   #31
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Harbor Freight makes a small winch that mounts in the bed of a pickup truck and swivels to reach the hitch area. If I get where I can’t pick up my ProPride stinger I’ll get a winch...
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:53 PM   #32
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Folks, can we drop the condescending comments bragging that you LET or TAUGHT your wife to drive. Have you noticed who is driving most school buses? Or the women towing horse trailers, or driving city buses or semis? There is no innate gender advantage to driving and backing up. I understand personal preferences or weaknesses, but gender isn’t the determining factor for driving.

It is very annoying (and sad) when old dinosaurs think we are innately inept at something because of our gender. This summer, tired after a very long drive, I pulled into a campground owned by two brothers. As I paid for the site, one told me the need for a pressure regulator on the hose, and I said, “Yeah, I will buy that one you have on the shelf because I have been meaning to get one.” (lost my other one) The other brother then said, “Don’t you want to first check with HIM to make sure he doesn’t already have one?” meaning my husband. I calmly told them it was my trailer and I know what I need, and he sarcastically answered, “ Oooo, so it’s YOUR trailer, is it?” Woah, if I hadn’t been so tired I would have found another campground. Business 101: treat your customers with respect. (Yes, I bought the trailer and I buy all the stuff I need for it.)
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Old 08-18-2019, 12:56 PM   #33
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What's the big deal? It's both our jobs to drive when needed: at the very least, for safety reasons. Now if I could only learn to back up the trailer like my wife.
My wife grew up on a farm driving all manner of heavy equipment. When the chips are down, I get out, get behind the rig and give directions w/o getting my feelings hurt at all.

We are driving team. And yes, when we are on the road, she and I share the load. We stay awake and help each other stay safe.
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Old 08-18-2019, 02:33 PM   #34
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When navigator is the driver

I bought my camper knowing my husband wasn’t that interested in going along on outings with me. Therefore I am responsible for my towing, maintenance, etc. I get by, I guess you’d say.

When we travel without the trailer, he automatically drives and I automatically navigate.

He’s both uncomfortable with towing and using most apps, including google maps. He also has macular degeneration so screens are a challenge.

One thing that’s stopped me from going on some longish solo trips is that lack of a navigator. It’s fine to set your destination and go but if you want to wander around a bit, I’m less comfortable doing that when towing than when just driving a vehicle.
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Old 08-18-2019, 05:33 PM   #35
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I imagine to use that winch you would have to remove the tailgate. They're kind of heavy too.

By the way, I did teach my wife how to tow because she never had done it before and she wanted me to do it first so I could explain what I learned. Sort of like being taught on a farm or wherever when you have never done something before. I did some towing years before we bought a travel trailer, so I guess I was experienced. I'm sure my wife could back up if she wanted to, but I can't convince her it is easy (I'd be lying and I never lie to her). Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between preferences and gender prejudice.

She prefers me to drive in snowstorms because I am more experienced at it and I don't let the conditions bother me (I always take my laudanum and she won't take hers). Of course, she's lived in Colorado almost her whole life and driven through much snow, but I am older, so that makes me more experienced, I guess.

I also drive on roads with enormous drop offs because the heights bother me and if I am driving, I feel safer because I am in control (more laudanum please). Somehow heights don't bother her and I can't understand why because I know if you go close to edge, a monster will grab your leg and pull you over (I've never actually seen that, but I am sure it happens; he also lives in the shower drain, so never step on it). I don't like heights when men are driving either.

I am also the designated off road driver. I've tried to get her to try it, but she is too smart to do the work and lets me sweat it (with even more laudanum—I just get so hysterical). I'm waiting for dementia so I don't have to drive anymore. I guess then we can only go to pull through sites at CG's.

We try to share moat tasks in our lives, but sometimes one is better at something or prefers to do it. Preferences are frequently the product of childhood training and are often originally sexist, but those preferences can be hard to change. Barb loves to cook, but I can too. She is usually better at it and I'd be a fool not to accept her superiority at many meals. It started with her parents—her father can only make toast and never helps her mother cook anything, even with them in their 90's. Her mother takes over the kitchen, so who would dare to enter and cook? She perpetuates it and doesn't understand she is part of it. Habits that started with sexism are hard to change even if they are outdated.

I sure wish I could get my wife to change oil and grease the vehicles. I told her it would make her younger, but she didn't believe me. I expect it will take many decades to remove sexism from society.
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Old 08-18-2019, 11:24 PM   #36
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I have tried everything I know from being Mr. Nice (encouraging) to also being Mr. Mean (important that she can do this) and cannot get my wife to drive. I have full confidence in her ability but some reason will not drive. We have good solid tow vehicle, hitch and trailer. She does know how to hitch the Hensley Arrow and is great at giving directions for backing into a campsite without a word spoken just friendly hand signals. Maybe some day....
A. Division of labor. Be honest, partners or master/servant relationship? And I admit some couples seem to thrive on the latter... and sometimes the man is not the lead dog. But IF there is tension and resentment, the passive-aggressive resistance will be formidable.

B. ASK why not.... then LISTEN.
C. Do not sell, argue, wheedle, LISTEN.
D. Repeat back what she says to verify that you heard HER.
E. Think about what she said.
F. In 2-3 days suggest a truck driving school.
G. In the end accept her decision... and find a.way to rally with Maggie.
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:23 PM   #37
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. . . she can back into a spot without pulling forward even once.
That’s my goal! We picked up our new 25’ Serenity last Saturday and hit the road on Sunday for a four day shakedown cruise. I did all the driving, but it took me a couple of tries to get it backed into the site just right. Hubby gets to drive the next trip — at least part of it.
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Old 08-19-2019, 12:43 PM   #38
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I leaned to drive a stick shift when I was 11. I got my pilots license when I was 19. I have horses and I haul them around. I drive a tractor and change implements between brush hog/bucket loader/arena drag without swearing and crying anymore. I can pee or poop in the woods. I've hell-skied cat-skied water skied. I can hit a clay pigeon 1 times out of ten I can cook/sew/knit. I don't clean very well but I clean up pretty good. I bought my AS two years ago and have been hard at work learning the systems. People have been very helpful and no one has batted an eyelash except a high school classmate at my 40th reunion who was from South America and it seemed to be a new concept that a woman would go off in an AS by herself. All of this stuff does not require strength, just a willingness to try and mileage. There is absolutely no reason a woman should be any less able to do any of it. I have and can do a lot of things that many men I know can't. I just get a bit tired of the male/female thing. Rant over and out.
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Old 08-19-2019, 01:23 PM   #39
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Farafield I like the "I don't clean very well but I clean up pretty good" :-)
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Old 08-19-2019, 04:23 PM   #40
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I leaned to drive a stick shift when I was 11. I got my pilots license when I was 19. I have horses and I haul them around. I drive a tractor and change implements between brush hog/bucket loader/arena drag without swearing and crying anymore. I can pee or poop in the woods. I've hell-skied cat-skied water skied. I can hit a clay pigeon 1 times out of ten I can cook/sew/knit. I don't clean very well but I clean up pretty good. I bought my AS two years ago and have been hard at work learning the systems. People have been very helpful and no one has batted an eyelash except a high school classmate at my 40th reunion who was from South America and it seemed to be a new concept that a woman would go off in an AS by herself. All of this stuff does not require strength, just a willingness to try and mileage. There is absolutely no reason a woman should be any less able to do any of it. I have and can do a lot of things that many men I know can't. I just get a bit tired of the male/female thing. Rant over and out.
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