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Old 02-21-2015, 08:55 PM   #1
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Beauty and the Hairy Beast...

This is for ONLY MALES AND THEIR AIRSTREAM travel experiences.

There is one thing that wives and, I guess girlfriends as well, want... to "help" you become socialized and, at least, somewhat presentable while in public. Public means one or more individuals that you have never met before and probably will never meet ever again.

That is a given. When you are traveling in your Airstream, the people at one camp are not going to notice that you are wearing the same pants and shirt you have worn for the last two weeks. But, they were color coordinated. That is a big plus.

This is camping. Not a Sunday Social. Then you begin to hear the... sweet talk for you to break in a clean, sterile tee shirt, pants or maybe a complete overhaul. Or... underwear... gasp.

Women do not understand. Their sense of smell may be very keen, but even that sense weakens over the long haul of a two, three week camping vacation. Even the trailer may lose that new smell, or at best, the fresh disinfectant smell from a massive sterilization from the start.

Fish smell just as good in the water as in your pants pocket, while fly fishing without something convenient to carry your limit. But, hey... we are guys. Nine years old or... seventy... we are nine year olds in a body damaged by catering to women. OK, there I said it. It could be a death wish on my part. But I am discussing HAIR.

Step ONE: The trim before the trip...
At the beginning of a trip, you are "asked" to get a hair cut. With or without a coupon at Sports Clip. But, you do it. All of the rest of us can pick YOU out of a crowd of 1000 campers... all cleaned up like someone looking for a new job. Well... have I news for you. Resist. Make excuses. Delay. I forgot. The salon was not where it was suppose to be. Pal... you are doing good. I am proud of you, up to this point.

Step TWO: Facial hair... Neanderthal or even better.
-Let that mustache blossom into a wild knit mass of wild hairs.
-Let that facial hair express itself like someone in a 19th Century wanted poster,
-Just let it... rip, other than to do some trimming so you are not filter feeding with hair connecting your upper lip to your chin type mustache. OK. You can only get away with so much... the first time.
-Even go so far as curling those left and right ends up for a happy face, or down for a biker mean face. Either way... good.

The wife, children, girlfriend... will use this line on you:

"Honey. You look so young and handsome WITHOUT (fill in the blank)."

Oh yeah. I heard that one on our FIRST long camping adventure. Grow a backbone. Resist the pressure. Just look surprised... and... hurt. Don't say one word. Just turn and realize that now... this mustache and facial hair has a MISSION. Much like the 24 month US/RA Viet Nam mission... a beginning AND an end. The two years I was in the Army, I had no more or less than five facial hairs at one time. I was a true disappointment among my peers.

Even though it, the beard, facial hair and the mustache ITCH LIKE FLEAS have INFESTED all of it... go for the Hairy Beast on this trip. Don't give in, even if this bristle is driving... you... nuts. Have some fun on your terms. As simple as they are and no matter how miserable you might see yourself when a mirror is showing up everywhere in the trailer.

Buy a western hat when your hair becomes matted from the lack of a shower with, soap. Ignore the hair growing out of your collar and ears. They are decorations, much like pine needles on a big tall beetle infested pine tree in Colorado. We all have to die sometime. Do it with... style, at least.

When you finally DO shave this wild stuff. Do it, parts at a time. Left side this day and maybe some from your chin. Nobody is going to mess with you at a campground, unless some dogs are running wild at the camp site.

Try it. I found myself with two daughters nine months later from two separate June camping trips, ending with February surprises when I was clean shaven and sanitized. This hairy beast look might just save you some future vote to travel to some girly activities in the future. Being out numbered three to one for trip planning.

The last five week trip has my hairless corpse with no change... but this facial hair... I look like a Gorilla on steroids. Husbands on our cul-de-sac wish... that they could get away with this, just once.

We know it all has to end eventually. And it will. But you made the best of situation and lived through it all. Next time you hear the "Honey....". Get that Gorilla on Steroids look growing tomorrow.
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Old 02-22-2015, 05:13 AM   #2
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As one can see from my avatar, I'm bald as an egg on top. Naturally, not shaved off like some born-again baldy. For the fringe and the facial hair, I trim it all myself, with my hair clippers, the morning I leave on a trip, and the evening I get back, cutting it all to a single uniform 3/8" length. But my Interstate has very little room for carrying stuff, and leaving clippers and razor at home means more room for things like soap and my medications.

I don't always change shirt and pants daily, but I do wash myself and change socks and undies daily for the sake of hygiene. As for changing shirts and pants, the rule is simple. Sniff before wearing; if they smell worse than I do (remember that I've bathed before dressing) I don't wear them again until they're washed as well. The idea here is that I'm supposed to get my clothes dirty; they're not supposed to get me dirty.

I am more evolved than an ape, and I want the world to know itó even though thanks to an unfortunate trick of genetics I'm not any more handsome than an ape most of the time!
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Old 02-22-2015, 07:03 AM   #3
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Nuff said.....


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Old 02-22-2015, 07:59 AM   #4
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I have always shrived to be mistaken for a local, either here or in Europe. "Son, what fish are they hauling off those boats?"...This from the Scotland coast while hitchhiking. Success was being asked directions to some 'natural wonder'.
A favorite camping outfit consists of faded orange and black gym shorts from a son's highschool and a t-shirt with a cartoon camel from Dubai. My corpse could be identified from the above on any given day.
My nose finds the fellow hikers application of underarm deodorant to be repulsive and alien in the natural world as well as foreign to me. I have found after several days in the sun and fresh air, one ceases to stink Sometimes in low water situations, a bath consists of a pan of water warmed on the stove.
As you may have deduced, I travel solo. Aside from the negative aspects of this situation, it's amazing how quickly I can be out the door in the morning or packed and on the road...!
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Old 02-22-2015, 09:02 AM   #5
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Where is Panama Red when you need him?
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:48 AM   #6
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No need to shave

Even the corporate world is accepting the unshaven look. It's a fashion thing now.
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Old 02-22-2015, 01:01 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by mandolindave View Post
Even the corporate world is accepting the unshaven look. It's a fashion thing now.
Dave - The unshaven look of today always makes me think of Yasser Arafat, who long before the current 'manly' fashion statement, always looked like he'd just jumped off his filthy camel after 2 weeks trying to cross the Empty Quarter of Saudi Arabia. I see these younger singers & actors on The Tonight Show and always want to offer to buy them a razor & a newer pair of jeans without the rips & torn knees. I just don't get the point of actually wanting to appear poor or unkempt.

But I'll freely admit that I'm way too "senior" to care about following someone else's idea of some current fashion trend. Ask anyone I know. Certainly not bragging, just a fact of life for me .
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Old 02-22-2015, 02:38 PM   #8
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Even the corporate world is accepting the unshaven look. It's a fashion thing now.
Some men spend a lot of time and effort to maintain the "permastubble" look in an attempt to look more masculine/mature and less like a pretty boy. You don't get that precise "I shaved yesterday" look every day without maintaining it every day. It's way more effort than just going clean-shaven, and if you're not a pretty boy to start with, the permastubble look just makes you look slovenly instead.
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Old 02-22-2015, 02:49 PM   #9
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I decided I ain't never gonna shave no more back in 2007. In 2015 I decided I might not never cut my hair no more. I may grow it till it is 8-10" long and then cut it off and give it to Locks for Love before it turns white.
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Old 02-22-2015, 02:56 PM   #10
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In the 1950's my Mom would iron knee patches to cover the worn out knees on our denim pants. It was not a fashion statement. We could not afford new.

My Mom cut our hair at home at this time. The hand clippers gave you a cut that made you appear to be... poor and unkempt. They were not that sharp after awhile. They pulled more hair out than cut.

Our leather shoes used cereal box carton to slide into the shoe to cover the worn hole in each shoe. It was not wanting to appear to be poor. We were...

I do not sing, dance, act or give a rat about what others think of me or what I do. I do not watch the Tonight Show. I would not know who is a celebrity or anyone in a current movie.

We three children became Independent thinkers and doers. I bought our Airstream, because... I COULD and it made sense. We are the Salt of the Earth people. I do not judge anyone for their appearance, bank account or having an "opinion" different than mine. My politics is conservative from my living experiences. I still pick up a penny. If someone has different politics and wants to change mine... we are NOT going to get along. Like a western rancher... if a business deal does not "pencil" you walk away, the better.

I do not give to Panhandlers. Dead beats had a choice.

I might want to get a haircut, shave or just walk around just wearing a nice western hat when camping in the back country. I might just go skinny dipping. I prefer my judgement over most others.

When I make a post on the Airforums... it is not to criticize anyone in particular. Some do not like my Threads... good. You and I will not get along, as one of us has no sense of humor. This Thread is a fly to catch fish who have no sense of humor and take this as a serious comment on Airstream owners. It is all for us to make sport of ourselves, at our expense.

This is not a response to anyone posting on this Thread. This is how I see the world.

I met the Bullies who thought they were among the anointed to pass judgment onto the less fortunate. I stood my ground and do not back down when my integrity is put to the test. My knuckles are my evidence, of at times, having no other option to choose. I have stitches where I should have ducked.

I am now socialized with exemptions. I am an American. I happen to have chosen an Airstream. Is there something wrong with that?

Yes. I did count to ten before submitting this reply. Thank you.
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Old 02-22-2015, 03:25 PM   #11
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I would really like to meet you, sometime, Ray. I probably wouldn't like you; you're too much like me.
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Old 02-22-2015, 03:33 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Ray Eklund View Post
This is not a response to anyone posting on this Thread. This is how I see the world.
Since you're the one who started the thread in the first place, you have no need to respond to anyone posting on this thread. We're the ones who are responding to you.

I must say, though, you sound like you're a real character. Or you have character. Or possibly both, though a character with character is vanishingly rare these days. I've known a few people like that over the years, and we generally didn't like each other much. But I still got along with them because at least I always knew exactly where I stood with them. If I meet you anytime during our respective travels, I'll make sure where I stand is upwind of you!
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Old 02-22-2015, 06:50 PM   #13
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I'm Just a Hairy Guy....

Jeanne and her Hairy Beast Len:


She asks me why, I'm just a hairy guy
I'm hairy noon and night, hair that's a fright
I'm hairy high and low, don't ask me why, don't know
It's not for lack of bread, like the Greatful Dead, darlin'

Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there, hair, shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there, momma, everywhere, daddy, daddy

Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair

Let it fly in the breeze and get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas, in my hair
A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees
A nest for birds, there ain't no words
For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair

Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow, my hair

I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided
Powered, flowered and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled and spahettied

Oh say, can you see my eyes if you can
Then my hair's too short
Down with here, down to there
Down till there, down to where it's stuck by itself

They'll be ga-ga at the go-go, when they see me in my toga
My toga made of blond, brilliantined, biblical hair
My hair like Jesus wore it, Hallelujah I adore it
Hallelujah Mary loved her son, why don't my mother love me?

Hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair, flow it, show it
Long as God can grow
My hair



Read more: Hair - Hair Lyrics | MetroLyrics
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Old 02-22-2015, 07:29 PM   #14
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Heh, now that's stuck in my head😃

Rich, lived and survived that era...


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