Women Boondocking Drivers?

[Ray Eklund]

When the wife has her grocery and shopping list together, I would prefer that she drives. GPS has no better competition than my wife. She knows the short cuts, best routes to avoid traffic, traffic lights and where traffic gets congested. A professional for navigating the city. Oh, I can get to Costco, but driving in left and right turns, not the hypotenuse driving perfected by my wife with a mission. For her it is combat for the best route using stealth routes and a guerilla avoidance of humanity, usually at their worse.

Hook up the Airstream... she defaults to me.

I asked her at breakfast, why... she feels more comfortable that I drive the highway and back country roads with trailer in tow. Even with her ability to navigate the web of city traffic and obstacles, the thought of pulling the trailer off of the highway is of NO interest to her. Thinking about it, I feel better when I am towing the AS off the pavement. I also feel better driving on pavement and I have the greying hair for proof! This I have kept to myself, until now.

Maybe it is because men tend to be a bit more mentally adjusted for doing things that involve "instinctive avoidance of potential problems on the horizon". I can spot a vehicle in heavy traffic that is going to cut right in front of me, seconds before they do it. Instinctive intuition of the higher sort, I guess. I see those low hanging tree branches, and she see the doe and fawn in the bushes, across the steep canyon, while I am avoiding a pickup pulling a trailer full of livestock giving me room to pass. Spotting a numb nut in traffic is not learned, but in the genetic makeup... much like Vikings traveling across open ocean to find a village to raid in Britain, hauling away the valuables and "good women drivers" back north. You never saw a woman Viking giving directions, did you? Course not... Did Ben Hur have any women on the chariot track that day. Course not... Although, my wife could have been tough to beat.

I am not saying that women ALWAYS default to the Viking man's vision of accepting off road driving as a combat mission to avoid the enemy at all costs. The enemy can consist of boulders in the road, ruts, pot holes, low hanging signs or bicycles along the road. The enemy takes on all shapes and description when off the beaten path. Doe and fawn... back off, I am coming through.

I see the "Burning Man" romps in the woods for those Viking women from ancient Britain stock, maybe northern France as well. Obviously attended by women pilots and drivers. Is it my imagination that towing a trailer has become a mans' vocation? If you want "sex in your Airstream", maybe the woman should be forced to tow, at least on the highway between potty stops and the Viking take over for the rest of the trip.

My wife is content to following our progress on the maps I provide and keep her lefts and rights, my left and rights... Oops, county road 2015 we just passed. Now, how am I going to turn this beast around without getting another crop of grey hair.

[masseyfarm]

Let those who will have to fix the Chariot, take the responsibility of maneuvering it thru the boonies.
Dave

[Foiled Again]

Boadicea

Joan of Arc

Harriet Tubman

Annie Oakley

Look them up. I'll bet you any one of them could kick ass and turn a 34' tri-axle around using a narrow driveway.

I agree that men often seem to have a more refined natural spacial "something" but I disagree that those talents cannot be learned. Look at the MEN here who have finally grasped that a sewing machine IS really a power tool... and one that women mastered first! It's also true that sometimes it's a lot easier to defer to male expertise when it comes to backing up - but on at least one occasion I had the man jump back out and say - "wow this is too different from my utility trailer"... whereupon I backed it up successfully.

I'll also advocate (again) that you should insist your wife drive occasionally. You could break an arm or otherwise be unable to drive... and it could happen ON the road where the best thing would be to toss you in the back seat and head for the hospital. Learning to tow in these circumstances - NOT a good idea.

Paula

[ROBERT CROSS]

"Honey do we turn off this road soon"

"Left at the red light ahead"

"Sandy you missed the turn"

"the light was green"

A logic you can't argue with.....

Bob

[masseyfarm]

I will clarify my rule of RVing.
You break it, you fix it.
If you are not prepared to do the dirty part of the job, then don't try to take the back road to the barbecue.
Dave

Originally Posted by masseyfarm

Let those who will have to fix the Chariot, take the responsibility of maneuvering it thru the boonies.
Dave

[Boondocker]

Why is this in the boondocking section? At best it ought to be in the (way) off topic area.

[zlee]

Men have automatically got better spatial sensing ability, but that's about it, and spatial sensing can be learned. (I'm just as good as many men and better than the vast majority of men at knowing how to fabricate flat shapes into shapes that enclose volume, or, as my cohort above put it, sewing.) The rest is pretty much sociological.

Frankly, and this is a vast over-generalization as much as the OP's first post, most human cultures have set it up so its "unfeminine" to be good at sciences, maths, mechanics, and any number of things. Then they make fun of women and disparage them for not being any good at these things. Not only that, but they've convinced women to buy into this.

I had a biology teacher in high school who actually said OUT LOUD to his students that he thought women's brains would overheat from having to deal with sciences.

And personally, I have a block in the area of maths, which is actually king of tragic, because every mathematician (male and female) I know says I have exactly the kind of thought processes ideal for higher maths.

So I don't have much patience for this kind of male posturing, sorry.

[zlee]

By the way, it's also true that, culturally speaking, we have also handicapped men by making it "unmasculine" to be good at many soft sciences, emotional touchy feeliness, and other things. And we definitely make fun of men for being good at these things, too. It cuts both ways and is equally unfair to both sides.

[Ray Eklund]

I'll also advocate (again) that you should insist your wife drive occasionally. You could break an arm or otherwise be unable to drive... and it could happen ON the road where the best thing would be to toss you in the back seat and head for the hospital. Learning to tow in these circumstances - NOT a good idea. (Foiled Again)

If I were to break my arm, my wife would say "screw the trailer" and drive the pickup into town... and go shopping for someone needing a crutch for a month.

Joan of Arc- Look what happened to her.
Annie Oakley- Guns seem to be out of popularity these days in a parade
Boadicea- Have you ever seen a drawing or painting with her in a chariot? No.
Harriet Tubman- She had courage, and had to keep moving around New England on dirt roads, but preferred to give directions rather than drive.

If this is decided beyond the scope of Boondocking and if a moderator wants to move this thread, I have no complaint. Just put it where my wife cannot find it. I am more concerned with a head injury... I can get by with a broken leg.

[ROBERT CROSS]

You must admit though that the pharmaceutical companies have helped a lot of us gyz in the "soft science" area.

Bob

[zlee]

Originally Posted by ROBERT CROSS

You must admit though that the pharmaceutical companies have helped a lot of us gyz in the "soft science" area.

Bob

Wrong thread, Robert!

[Ray Eklund]

Robert- you got that right. I hate that soft serve ice cream when travelling.


And personally, I have a block in the area of maths, which is actually king of tragic, because every mathematician (male and female) I know says I have exactly the kind of thought processes ideal for higher maths. (zlee)

I never did well in high school looking over the shoulder of a female classmate in math or science class during a test. I was pointed out as a pervert of some kind.

I also find it very difficult eating a Carls Juniors cheeseburger and talk on the cell phone, while driving off the black top, keeping trim and in shape while on long distance traveling. I might have discovered man's secret to keeping that boyish figure while on the road.

Now... I do want this thread moved to some obscure topic area... like Proper Hygiene while Camping... would do it. I have heard of men dying in their sleep when driving with both eyes open while driving and not having one eye open while sleeping... and the wife is not a suspect.

[withidl]

At the risk of being criticized I will say that biologically the brains of men and women TEND to be different, i.e. women TEND to be “right” brained while men TEND to be left brained. Evolutionarily men were the hunters which evolved their left hemisphere to be adept at spatial abilities, i.e. calculating just how far away the game is and how to successfully intercept and kill it; while the women TENDED to hold the “family” together using domestic social skills which are primarily associated with the right hemisphere of the brain.

Negotiating an Airstream down the road and through the forest falls into the evolutionary niche of “left” brain expertise, which men TEND to have a natural affinity for.

[zlee]

Originally Posted by withidl

At the risk of being criticized I will say that biologically the brains of men and women TEND to be different, i.e. women TEND to be “right” brained while men TEND to be left brained. Evolutionarily men were the hunters which evolved their left hemisphere to be adept at spatial abilities, i.e. calculating just how far away the game is and how to successfully intercept and kill it; while the women TENDED to hold the “family” together using domestic social skills which are primarily associated with the right hemisphere of the brain.

Negotiating an Airstream down the road and through the forest falls into the evolutionary niche of “left” brain expertise, which men TEND to have a natural affinity for.

I'm not going to criticize you, but I'm going to point out that the reasons for that have little to do with whether it's possible to think on the other side of the brain than the one you're supposed to TEND to work on. The brain's a big place and we are demonstrably able to rise above our conditioning, because conditioning and what we breed for are not the same things as what we can do.

[zlee]

Originally Posted by Ray Eklund

I was pointed out as a pervert of some kind.

And this was wrong, correct...?

[Gene]

Many girls have been taught they can't do "men's work" and to be afraid of anything new or different. Boys are taught to be risk takers, girls are taught how dangerous the world is. When they grow up they retain this teaching without remembering how that happened. Even though they may rationale and intelligent, they don't want to try new things and don't want to do something manly like towing a trailer. A heightened self awareness or therapy may get them past childhood teachings, or may not.

Men are generally better at spacial relations and this is genetic. It is not absolute and some men aren't good at it and some women are. I can visualize a map or relationships of shapes to one another and know what compass direction I'm going. My wife has trouble with these things. Some of it is learned I think—both of her parents give the worse directions to somewhere I have ever heard (this really happened: "There's a good restaurant in Las Vegas [NM] we know you'll like" What's it called? "We don't know." Where is it?" We can't remember, but you'll like it."). After 25 years together, she is doing a lot better at maps (in reading a map you have to transfer in your mind a bunch of 2 dimensional lines to the 3 dimensional world—spacial relations come in there). Knowing compass directions without a compass means recording every turn you make unconsciously (dead reckoning) and that also seems to me to be spacial relations.

My wife had a double major in sciences. She was professionally ahead of many of her colleagues, men and women, before she retired. She passed organic chemistry, I could barely get through basic chem. She used complicated machines for lab tests and could fix them when others couldn't. But when I try to explain how some car part works, or how to fix trailer things, she is lost.

She was eager to learn how to tow a trailer, but wanted me to learn first. On our third trip, when we were out in the deserted Mojave Desert, then she did it and she did fine. But she was much more cautious than I and feared gas stations for a while (spacial relations issue). When you pull into a big truck stop, there are a lot of shapes moving around and pump islands with those threatening posts—taking in all the stuff fast may be more difficult to women than men. Pulling out can be worse—the pumps can be close to the building and cars may be parked in front of it. I can tell where we fit, Barb has more trouble visualizing it. She learns, but it takes time.

Many of us grew up when men always drove when a women was in the car. Women never drove a truck. That has changed a lot, but if you look at old couples, I'd bet that the man drives a lot more than the women. It takes generations for these things to change. Barb prefers me to drive on twisted mountain roads, in snow and in busy cities. Is that because I have more experience, have better ability to visualize relationships between things or because of how she was taught as a child? Maybe it's something of all of it. Of course, those are harder places to drive, so maybe she just wants me to do the hard work.

I'm glad Barb drives a lot. It means I arrive at a destination less tired and get to read when she's driving through places that I have seen a lot. She won't back the trailer. Backing requires a good sense of where things are and men are generally better at that. So maybe that makes sense. But I tell her she may have to do it someday because I may croak or be injured and she'll have to do it. That logic has not prevailed. When she has to, she'll be ok.

Another things girls are taught is to act like men are smarter and can do anything to stroke our egos. Therefore, when the become adults, they may act dumb when a man explains mechanical things. When a man isn't around they get smarter. Parents don't realize they are teaching these things and these beliefs are taught from generation to generation. This is another hard things to overcome.

I agree with Rodney this doesn't belong under boondocking. The proper subforum would be "I want to start a thread where all the women will attack me".

Gene

[polarlyse]

I can use a sewing machine just fine. Don't do it often but when necessary I certainly can. My daughter can drive and back up a trailer loaded with 50' long rowing shells and do a nice job of it. I hear people often say " how can you back up that thing ". I refuse to tell them how much easier it is to back a looooong trailer than a short one. That's my secret. Now it's yours too. But my wife shows no interest or aptitude for driving while towing. Hard nut to crack.

See ya on the road sometime.

Oh, and Foiled Again. Thanks for the wheels. They still look great.

[Ray Eklund]

And this was wrong, correct...? (zlee)

You saw right through that one zlee... This led me to the Poisonous Snake thread, and why women have a natural fear of "snakes".

That explains the Boondocking Forum accepting Poisonous Snakes in the Boondocks as suitable subject material, while Women Boondocking Drivers is a subject to discuss with a stiff drink, and for safety, men outnumbering the women and put into an obscure forum topic, thought. I had a dream of women towing trailers, AND I did not break into a sweat or get sick to my stomach due to stressing out with a conflicted left or right sided brain. As you can tell from my "study" in this subject, I am incapable of using either side of my brain and think with what nature provided me to "really" think with...

[polarlyse]

Originally Posted by Ray Eklund

And this was wrong, correct...? (zlee)

You saw right through that one zlee... This led me to the Poisonous Snake thread, and why women have a natural fear of "snakes".

That explains the Boondocking Forum accepting Poisonous Snakes in the Boondocks as suitable subject material, while Women Boondocking Drivers is a subject to discuss with a stiff drink, and for safety, men outnumbering the women and put into an obscure forum topic, thought. I had a dream of women towing trailers, AND I did not break into a sweat or get sick to my stomach due to stressing out with a conflicted left or right sided brain. As you can tell from my "study" in this subject, I am incapable of using either side of my brain and think with what nature provided me to "really" think with...

Ughhhhh, and Ray, just what is that ?????

[withidl]

Originally Posted by zlee

I'm not going to criticize you, but I'm going to point out that the reasons for that have little to do with whether it's possible to think on the other side of the brain than the one you're supposed to TEND to work on. The brain's a big place and we are demonstrably able to rise above our conditioning, because conditioning and what we breed for are not the same things as what we can do.

This is exactly why I used the word "TEND" many times! Almost everyone can adapt when necessity rears it head.