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Old 04-02-2012, 03:54 PM   #43
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Camp exclusively with Lawchick. Only person I ever heard of that uses a .416 Rigby sidelock double rifle as a snake gun. With your newly acquired snake rattler to hand, sound it hard and throw it towards any bear showing animosity. Problem solved.

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Old 04-02-2012, 04:15 PM   #44
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Here is a character out the Airstream door begging for a 6-pak.
Please don't offer them bottled beer as the caps are bad for their teeth. They love to crush aluminum cans and let the foam run down their throats after noshing on tent campers.
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:46 PM   #45
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I think Maggie is right... all we need is the slightest encouragement. So if you all BEAR with me... I think this may explain the Loch Ness Monster; as well as the Monster of Navajo Reservoir. This bear has an ear tag that shows the State of New Mexico has captured her multiple times. Her last release was near Gallup. 230+ miles from where this picture was taken. The full story was in the Durango Herald last year. So i guess the point is, that if they associate a nice silver palace with good food and good beer.. they could conceivably follow you home...

Therefore, do not feed them FROM the AS, Avion, SS or Streamline. Make sure they associate the fiberglass monstrosities with dinner. Remember when taking the silver sausage out boondock to pack the BEAR essentials, especially a loaded camera... or whatever we call it now that we stick a chip in to record the picture.


Perhaps it is time to start a "Bear Encounters" thread... That could include Cougars (feline and otherwise), Bears, Weasels, Opossums, Rats, bats, ignorant tourists, and nudists..
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:48 PM   #46
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The Real Loch Ness Monster

Here it is!
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Old 04-03-2012, 01:56 PM   #47
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Bears do not require chairs and can sit where ever they want. When they get drunk, they might enjoy destroying chairsóthey are a lot like college students in that way. Give them more beer or a controlled substance that mellows them out. Ask the college students for the controlled substance.
This gives a whole new meaning to "Smoky the bear". . .
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Old 04-04-2012, 02:20 PM   #48
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After some very careful thought, why not pack a costume like one worn by one of the "troopers" in the movie "Super Troopers"? Might scare off people from camping too near you. And maybe give any local bears cause to give you a wide right of way!
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:54 AM   #49
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Have any of you heardof the new bear repellent product called BURINE?
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:50 AM   #50
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Have any of you heardof the new bear repellent product called BURINE?
No. Tell us more. Does it help with dry or itchy eyes too?

Gene
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:01 PM   #51
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I think it is probably the product of a Bear Farm (Like an elk ranch, but with comfier beds). Microbrews and chocolate covered ants are the featured menu items....

If somebody is adventurous, one should try this product out and visit a "Bear Bar" and see what kind of effect it has.....

BTW ever hear of the 70's Smokey the Bear poster submission, back when Smoky had two kids and Blondie Bear for wife? The kids are at the beach playing, smokey is wearing cut off wrangler shorts taking care of a campfire while Blondie is sun-tanning in a bikini with three tops...
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Old 04-09-2012, 01:09 PM   #52
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B-URINE...from incontinent old bears.

BTW.. Smokey doesn't have a middle name.

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Old 04-09-2012, 04:32 PM   #53
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Bob, you are right. Officially he is "Smokey Bear". The childrens books and song added a "the" as it give it better rhythm. Of all the critters in the woods, im sure if you bought him a beer, Smokey wouldnt mind - hes probly the only one that would knock back a cold one after a hot day on the line.

Once upon a time i was a young, newly hatched forestry worker, when the world was younger and people still could smoke and occasionally drink at work, one crusty old timber beast (aka forester) when asked about how to deal with a cigarette to make sure it didnt start a fire, replied: "Smokey says, just piss on it!" So apparantly BURINE is also a fire repellant too....

somehow i cant see Woodsy Owl doing that...
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:26 PM   #54
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No. Tell us more. Does it help with dry or itchy eyes too?
That's kinda what I thought, too. How about Bear-B-Gone?
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Old 04-09-2012, 07:18 PM   #55
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Pure Protection IPO

I never thought this would go so far. Imagine I may be able to stretch my retirement income. I would like to stay out of production and concentrate on product development.
So far.

BURINE- Proteection you can count on. For bear country.
MURINE- I think this one may be taken, but this is for Moose country
SURINE- Be sure in that pesky snake country.
DURINE- Keep the deer away from you and your garde.

All of these products are soon to be available for purchase over the internet.
Come on you production guys get me some product..

Dan
CEO Pure Protection Producrs LLC.
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Old 04-09-2012, 07:37 PM   #56
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Corrections

Thats Pure Protection Products BTW. My BIL is filing with the SEC on Friday. This IPO will be available sometime after April 30th and will be by invitation only. Stock price at IPO not yet decided. We will determine price according to interest. Don't miss out!!!!!!!
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