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Old 03-31-2012, 03:42 PM   #29
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A few years back in Yellowstone, we had numerous opportunities to see black bear during the daytime. Very interesting to watch, but at the same time there was no indication of hostility or anything from the bears we saw. The only time I felt nervous on the entire trip was halfway through a 7 mile loop hike on the Beaver Ponds trail when I started seeing fresh wolf tracks in the mud along the trail. In all honesty, the buffalo and elk were the only real concerns we had. That, and dumb people who like to feed wildlife. Unless it's the chickadees in your backyard, NEVER feed wildlife.

Just give them plenty of space, and don't surprise them where it can kick in a defensive reaction. Oh, and don't get anywhere near any animal carcass you may come across, chances are something was or is planning on eating it, and they get defensive about that.

When you're in a campsite, keep everything clean from a scent standpoint. ALL your trash goes into the proper garbage cans, which is usually a bearproof recepticle in most parks. Don't leave any snacks laying around, not even a granola bar. If you're tent camping, use a bear container for all your food and trash, and keep it 100' or more from your tent, cook 100' or more from your tent. Remember that bears are more of a scavenger than a predator

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Old 03-31-2012, 04:46 PM   #30
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My daughter who camps at Yosemite several times a year calls the Yosemite bears "Park Employees"
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Old 04-01-2012, 02:06 PM   #31
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Gene,

How do you suggest they collect the grizzly bear urine? lol I wanna hear this.. Im sure you can potty train a bear.... but out in the wooods.. well u know the old saying..
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:15 PM   #32
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Gene,

How do you suggest they collect the grizzly bear urine?
This is a challenge and not for the fearful, but really the solution is simple. Offer the bear a beer. He'll chug it down (they don't have good table manners), so give him some more. As he gets happy (they take at least a couple of six packs, so give him the cheap stuff like Keystone), start scratching his back. They love that.

Since you only rent beer, he'll have to go soon and that's when you collect the urine. You can train them to do it themselves. You can demonstrate how to do it.

Now, if you want #2, feed him jalapeņo flavored chips. It goes good with beer and he'll want a lot of beer. Follow him into the woods, scratching his back, and pretty soon you have a warm salve to frighten off the mountain lions. The jalapeņo does this, so don't use just any chips.

If you can't find a bear, get some bear bells. Jingle them and the bears will show up.

You may want to have a "friend" you don't really like do this. One of those "friends" that pesters you about coming camping and you can't think of another excuse. Your "friend" will be grateful for learning a new skill and they most probably won't pester you anymore about camping.

Gene
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Old 04-01-2012, 03:58 PM   #33
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Did I not say "don't get this group started on bears"?


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Old 04-01-2012, 04:00 PM   #34
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Sage advice and info:
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Old 04-01-2012, 09:41 PM   #35
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Having experienced a bear pull a built in Subzero refer out of the wall and destroy teak cabinets and having another bear injure a horse to the extent that required us to put the horse down, I keep a 12guage pump handy that is loaded with slugs alternating with 00 buckshot. Bears getting into homes is not unusual in SW Colorado. The biggest bear problem while camping is sloppy campers that leave food out, including dog food. I've seen more bears in my yard than I ever saw while camping, so I leave the shotgun at home!
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:55 AM   #36
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Gene,

Would not a Grizzly bear prefer Kokanee beer with his jalapeno chips and back scratching? What if it is a sow? Should we get her a nice chardonnay or is a Bartles and James (or one of the flavored sugary drinks commonly called "Bi*ch Beers") more appropriate? Perhaps smoked salmon and cheesy bits? or is that only for "Cougars"? Though in believe in all cases a back scratch would be welcomed...

It is sad that Lucky Lager beer is no longer common - it had a flavor and scent that even had my house cat trying to sample it. I would think that Lucky, Olympia and Rainier would all appeal to a bear. Or perhaps Hamms is the official Beer for Bears... I think that a six pack of any one of those brands would cause the production of large quantities of "repellant"

I doubt that any self respecting bear would drink Budweiser, Bud Light, Tecate, Miller Lite or Coors Light. Perhaps regular Coors or Miller High Life (are they old people beers?).

On a serious note, I remember hearing a long time ago about a bear that liked to break into coolers to drink the beer... So even they become alcoholics.
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:02 AM   #37
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Bears are not very discriminating about the taste of beers. Like some people, they just guzzle it down, think they have become very funny and smart, and drink another. Any bad beer (Coors, for ex.) or maybe a screw top dollar wine will do.

I understand female humans like sweet beers and I can't understand how anyone can drink them and be a self respecting drunk.

Gene
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Old 04-02-2012, 10:35 AM   #38
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Hmm so perhaps if we have an enemy, instead of burying him/her in a convenient anthill, we should tie them to a tree, smear them with honey, anoint them with beer, and leave a few cans to encourage the bears to come and partake? Does this work on the annoying family in the 40 foot Fifth-Wheel toy hauler that pulls up to a boondocking site, sets up the satellite and generator, races dirt bikes over the desert, and makes noise till 3 am? I would say that beer (of any brand) out of a 40 year old dometic propane fridge and food cooked in one of the infamous Magic Chefs with the questionable thermocouples tastes better in Bluff than anything out of such a trailer park on wheels... Then again, I doubt I can get my aluminum palace to the best sites by Bluff, it was a tight fit when I had a viking pop-up and a ford ranger. The last time i found a nice place by the San Juan in Cottonwood CG.. and was told what a nice airstream i had by all the MH denizens and SOBs in their fiberglass boxes

I have have yet to see a bear out there. But if one comes by, ill have a cold beer waiting for him (or her). But if they want TV theyll have to figure out how to hook up to a three wire antenna plug...
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Old 04-02-2012, 11:49 AM   #39
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Hmm so perhaps if we have an enemy, instead of burying him/her in a convenient anthill, we should tie them to a tree, smear them with honey, anoint them with beer, and leave a few cans to encourage the bears to come and partake? Does this work on the annoying family in the 40 foot Fifth-Wheel toy hauler that pulls up to a boondocking site, sets up the satellite and generator, races dirt bikes over the desert, and makes noise till 3 am?
Such neighbors can be trying. But there are simple answers to this problem as well, and as usual, our ursine friends can help. This is a lot more effective than the common tactics of starting a smoky fire with wet wood when the wind blows toward the 5th wheel or playing Ina Gadda Da Vida at 100 db. Throw a dead, ripe, varmint on top of the 5th wheel and a bear will find a way to get to it. Climbing up there will result in screams from the inside and damage to the side of the 5th wheel. This strategy should persuade the inhabitants to go home fast. They may leave their electrical cables and sewer hoses behind so you will get a bonus.

Don't forget to offer the bear a sixer to show your appreciation.

What I like about the Forum is how we all help each other with these knotty questions so that we may have an even better experience with our Airstreams. Bears are a misunderstood minority, but we can work with them. Just like your friends, they appreciate a beer and some chips (yes, salmon flavor as well as jalapeņo work too). The people in those luxury MH's with outside TV's do have an advantage as they can offer football, beer and chips, so we have to act fast. As soon as you get to a campground, jingle those bear bells and the bears will be there for a drink and a snack. Maybe you can go hunting together for mice and a nice green salad.

Gene
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Old 04-02-2012, 02:29 PM   #40
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What you say is very true Gene. I was camped at Chaco about two years ago and watched one of those pull in about dusk. (I was in a tent. You know what that road is like!) The landing gear came down, and through the windows we saw the NPS show and tell video playing on a VERY large TV. Forty feet away, was a group of sober (no booze allowed) college students, PhDs, and archaeologists doing a continuing education course. The students arranged themselves to watch through the picture window, and the commentary was provided by a professor and a slightly inebriated vacationing BLM archaeologist from the next campsite over. Not once did the MH inmates leave their lair or even open the door for that matter. Sad to say, a bear would have been a good thing for those people.

Would a bear show preferential treatment to somebody that has Whiskey or perhaps a Gin and Tonic to those with just beer and chips? And where is the proper place to seat a bear when it is a guest? does it take precedence over a Mother In Law.. then again, who is more vicious...

I wonder how many times the bears just sit and watch... we know the kitty cats do...
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Old 04-02-2012, 03:19 PM   #41
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You guys are just tooooooo much.

All you need is just the slightest bit of encouragement.



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Old 04-02-2012, 03:29 PM   #42
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I think a cat watches you wishing he were bigger so he could eat you. A cat is smart enough to want fine wine or whiskey. Bears are better friends because they will eat anything you have. They don't make those awful noises some cats do and don't want you to open the door for them every 5 minutes. Bear open doors themselves.

Bears do not require chairs and can sit where ever they want. When they get drunk, they might enjoy destroying chairs—they are a lot like college students in that way. Give them more beer or a controlled substance that mellows them out. Ask the college students for the controlled substance.

We don't bring my mother-in-law with us as my wife would give her the bed and I would end up on the floor. Fortunately my mother-in-law prefers motels and hotels. She would gladly give up her seat to a bear.

The species Motorhomo Sapiens does not like to actually leave home. They encase themselves in an exoskeleton that contains multiple TV's and large refrigerators and generators. They have trouble distinguishing between a TV on the Travel Channel and a windshield. They believe travel is good for the kids and so they cautiously venture forth, but only exit the exoskeleton at fuel stops and Walmarts. The kids have DVD's and never leave either. Offer them a DVD of bear attacks when in places like Chaco where there are no actual bears; they won't know that and may leave soon.

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