I think I figured it out
I spent a half day driving to 6 hardware stores in search of Deft Lacquer. They used to sell it at Home Depot, but they cleared it out three months ago. It took visiting three HDs to figure that out. I finally found a small independent store with spray lacquer, but the store is a new one and wouldn't actually be open for sale for another week. Plus, it was glossy. Finally, I got a cabinet maker at Benjamin Moore to help me. After talking with him, I settled on using semi gloss oil varnish. I bought it with some stain and headed home.
Oddly, the stain took in quite nicely, even over the danish oil. That evened out the grain oddities. I followed that with the varnish. It's a bit shinier than I expected, but I'm liking it. The results are very nice. I think I'm going to use this varnish everywhere (fwiw, Bartley's Semi Gloss Oil Varnish).
I also experimented using Fornby's furniture refinisher instead of stripping/sanding. It's brought excellent results with a fraction of the time (although this stuff stinks when the can is open, so gotta wear my respirator, bletch).