Going a wee little bit nuts here...
Was getting ready to head out after parking for a couple of months, intending to replace ancient house batteries on my way. Went to fire up engine and genny (belatedly) to give them a little exercise, and engine would not start. Chassis battery is less than six months old. Charge was a little low (and of course, house batteries were already toast). Got a starter battery, chassis battery took the charge like a champ.
But no go! Engine will not even try to crank. Nothing but click as ignition attempts to contact alternator. Join what's left of house batts, same non-results. And there's this 2-tone, 3-beep alarm coming from the radio speakers when I turn the ignition off.
I naturally assume PEBSAW (problem exists between seat and wheel - yours truly
.) Try to think which failsafe I blew? Drag out manuals. Sleep on it, drag out manuals again, check fuses, try whole procedure again, checking voltages and visually verifying jacks and steps are up. Same result. No crank, same weird alarm. Slide is still out, but I've started that way before, so shouldn't be an issue.
Chassis battery - alive and well
Gas tank - about 3/8 full
Genny - runs fine
Fuses - good
Fluid levels - acceptable
Driver - brain dead and bummed.
Shouldn't be an engine problem. The engine isn't actually DOING anything. And Ford didn't wire the radio. Thor did that and added all the really fun stuff. Can't find any references in the manual to explain this, no posts here either. Surely, whatever boneheaded thing is the problem, it's not nearly a first?
It's you fine folks here or an expensive roving tech come Monday (ouch!).