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Old 03-18-2004, 09:32 PM   #1
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The NEW Rules...

Okay ladies, we all know our rules. Now we can see a copy of "their" rules!

*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
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Old 03-18-2004, 09:49 PM   #2
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HUMOR is a good thing.
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Old 03-18-2004, 09:59 PM   #3
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Well said ! These really aren't guidelines, unfourtunantly its the way we are. I think its somewhere in our DNA strand.
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Old 03-18-2004, 11:55 PM   #4
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Have you been talking to Deb lately???
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:17 AM   #5
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Emotion Simulator

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Old 03-19-2004, 03:45 AM   #6
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When you change the way you look at situations,
situations change the way they appear.
I truly love my wife of 42 years, and I see no connection with the guidelines. Sorry, but I'm happy!
dick
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Old 03-19-2004, 09:05 AM   #7
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Boy are you gonna get it.
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Old 03-19-2004, 09:11 AM   #8
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Edie G.......

......and your point is?
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Old 03-19-2004, 09:21 AM   #9
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......and your point is?
I admit that most of these rules are not a surprise. But I do have to say that I take exception to rule 1. (Not the first rule, but the one numbered "1".)
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Old 03-19-2004, 10:43 AM   #10
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Weellllll....OK, I guess,

As long as you are taking exception only to rule 1.
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:37 PM   #11
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Old 03-19-2004, 12:40 PM   #12
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well...i certainly don't have a problem with following rule #1 !!!

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Old 03-19-2004, 02:36 PM   #13
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Question my theory

Well Edie that's a nice list of rules to get along well with small children, but full grown smart men and women? Why?



Just treat each other like you want to be treated and if you can't do that, treat them like you would a guest. Because if you need a list of rules then probably at least one of you is a guest and will be moving along any day now.
happy here too and we have no rules posted!

Life's messy clean it up! And Be Nice!

PS I suspect it's men who are really the emotional ones and women are the logical Spocks. Women just want a list of what to do and they do it, they birth the babies and bury the dead and do it all with a graceful detachment of logic. Ask any female nurse or a woman who's Aunt Flo is visiting. It's even logical to clean up the messy house It's also logical to think your help mate would do the same. Men are so emotional if they dare go there they freak. Start one crying and watch the dam break! For some men, they can't even ask for directions which is logical when you're lost, because their emotions have then all tied up, don't look foolish, be smart, get mad, all emotional responses.

well how's that grab ya, any thoughts?
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Old 03-19-2004, 02:41 PM   #14
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Edie..

Remember that single men die younger that they're married counterparts..... are you sure you want to go there?
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