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Old 08-11-2012, 02:31 PM   #463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purman

dang I need a few beers too.
Ditto Purman!!!!
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:36 PM   #464
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Originally Posted by Protagonist

The main reason I don't like politicians is because even though you can occasionally roast one (Toastmasters does it all the time), they refuse to hold still for you to properly apply the marinade.
Tooooooooo funny!!!!!!
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:41 PM   #465
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Originally Posted by noreen

1. The later you are the more excited they are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call the by another dogs name. 3.Dogs like it if you leave a lot of stuff on the floor. 4. Dogs parents never visit. 5.Dogs find it amusing when you are drunk. 6.Dogs agree you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 8. Dogs never wake you up and ask "If I died would you get another dog?". 9. If a dog has babies you can just put an ad in the paper and give them away. 10. If you put a studded collar on your dog it won't think you're a pervert. 11. If you're dog smells another dog on you it won't get mad and will think it's interesting. And last but not least: If you're dog leaves it won't take half you're stuff. Sal.

You guys are just cracking' me up!!!!! I love it!!!!!
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:09 PM   #466
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I'm retired and my wife still works. I discovered the answer a while ago. Just do a crappy job. At least it worked in my case. I do a lot of the chores, but the tedious ones that I despise, I screwed up badly enough that I'm no longer allowed to do them.

I hope my wife doesn't read the forums.

Ken
yep, I tried that with cleaning the toilets. She just said I needed more practice, I said we needed a house cleaner, We compromised on teaching the two older kids to do it..
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:25 PM   #467
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yep, I tried that with cleaning the toilets. She just said I needed more practice, I said we needed a house cleaner, We compromised on teaching the two older kids to do it..
That's an even better outcome. It keeps them occupied.
My kids are probably about your age and left the nest long ago. Our lazy cats will not clean anything except themselves and any food that is spilled on the floor. Well, not any food, it has to be up to cat standards. That's a lot higher than dog standards.

Ken

Dog Standards: If you can't eat it or have sex with it, then piss on it...
There might be some people like that too.
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Old 08-13-2012, 10:07 AM   #468
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Jason, you were at your in-laws. All you had to do was get up in the middle of the night, leave the kids there, and drive off. Then tell Michelle the kids wanted to stay there for a while.

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Old 08-14-2012, 08:27 PM   #469
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Jason, you were at your in-laws. All you had to do was get up in the middle of the night, leave the kids there, and drive off. Then tell Michelle the kids wanted to stay there for a while.

Gene
Your a genius!!!!! Where were you a week ago before I left for home.

I was board today so I had an argument with myself over ST or LT tires for my AS, It was such a good argument; there was yelling,some offensive language and even some physical contact..

Now I to figure out who one? ME or ME, I might just have to have another argument about that
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:36 PM   #470
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Hey Gene:

Great minds think alike, same idea, different method! The girls wanted to check out a "prospective" college. Dropped them off at the curb, and told them I'd be back when I found a parking spot......., Three years later, I'm still looking! LOL. :-)
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Old 08-15-2012, 05:22 AM   #471
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Hey Gene:

Great minds think alike, same idea, different method! The girls wanted to check out a "prospective" college. Dropped them off at the curb, and told them I'd be back when I found a parking spot......., Three years later, I'm still looking! LOL. :-)
There was once (briefly) a sign at the Oklahoma State University Student Union parking lot, before they built a parking garage:

"When Noah sailed the ocean blue,
He had his problems same as you.
For forty days he drove his Ark,
Before he found a place to park!"
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Old 08-15-2012, 05:34 AM   #472
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"When Noah sailed the ocean blue,
He had his problems same as you.
For forty days he drove his Ark,
Before he found a place to park!"
I only want to know what he was thinking when he put the squirrels and groundhogs on board. Sal.
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Old 08-15-2012, 08:11 AM   #473
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I only want to know what he was thinking when he put the squirrels and groundhogs on board. Sal.
He was thinking; "I only have to put up with them for 40 days and nights, but the rest of the world will have to put up with them forever" He wasn't as holy as we think he was
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Old 08-15-2012, 08:41 AM   #474
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He was thinking; "I only have to put up with them for 40 days and nights, but the rest of the world will have to put up with them forever" He wasn't as holy as we think he was
I don't see anything wrong with squirrels and groundhogs. Without squirrels, who would Bullwinkle have used for a straight man? And without groundhogs, what would Bill Murray have done for Groundhog Day or Caddyshack?

Nutria, on the other hand, are an invasive species of vermin with no redeeming value. They look like giant mutant rats with orange teeth. However, there is one company that has turned nutria extermination into a money-making enterprise, by turning nutria into doggie treats: Home
Luckily, dogs aren't picky about taste (as evidenced by the fact that they'll drink out of a toilet bowl). Nutria are so nasty that not even Cajuns will eat them! And Cajuns are infamous for eating anything that's standing still or walking slowly.
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Old 08-15-2012, 08:51 AM   #475
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Originally Posted by noreen
I only want to know what he was thinking when he put the squirrels and groundhogs on board. Sal.
A funny story, years ago my wife's aunt was having problems with squirrels, they were everywhere! She called the forestry service & ask them what to do, they told her they would bring her some traps and when the squirrels were caught the forestry service would come get them & take them away! Although she wanted the squirrels gone she didn't want them hurt! So ask what they did with the squirrels once they hauled them off? He assured her they wouldn't be hurt, in fact they would let them go at this particular greenway park! The problem with that...., her aunts house backed up to that park! LOL

AND.... How do we know this is Sal & not Noreen?....
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Old 08-15-2012, 09:44 AM   #476
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A funny story, years ago my wife's aunt was having problems with squirrels, they were everywhere! She called the forestry service & ask them what to do, they told her they would bring her some traps and when the squirrels were caught the forestry service would come get them & take them away! Although she wanted the squirrels gone she didn't want them hurt! So ask what they did with the squirrels once they hauled them off? He assured her they wouldn't be hurt, in fact they would let them go at this particular greenway park! The problem with that...., her aunts house backed up to that park! LOL

AND.... How do we know this is Sal & not Noreen?....
Last time I checked I still had all the right parts. Sal.
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