Settle a debate - how frequently do you talk with your parents

[bonginator]

We had a discussion the other day about frquency of communication with parents that don't live nearby. I am trying to attach a poll that will provide some insight.

If your parents are still with you and live far enough away that you must call to communicate, Please respond as to how frequently you talk with them on the phone.

Thank you..

[rmkrum]

Mom still alive. Talk every 1-2 weeks usually.


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[bonginator]

In my mid 50s.
Not a only child.
Fortunately both parents still alive.
Once a week typically. Sometimes every 2 weeks.

[kb0zke]

My parents are both dead. We have three adult children (one married). We hear from them more or less weekly in some fashion. Sometimes we get phone calls, sometimes emails, sometimes text messages. Since Jo Ann and the kids are all on FB (I'm not) sometimes they communicate with us that way.

[terryV]

Two daughters, ages 46 and 33. Talk to them every day at work, face to face, not phone.

Parents residing in Heaven. No phone to Heaven, you just talk or think to them. I do that several times a week. I don't know if they hear me, but I like to think they can.

If your parents are still alive, talk to them a lot while you can still have a two way conversation.

(terryV has to go now; he can't see to type right now)

[bonginator]

Originally Posted by terryV

Two daughters, ages 46 and 33. Talk to them every day at work, face to face, not phone.

Parents residing in Heaven. No phone to Heaven, you just talk or think to them. I do that several times a week. I don't know if they hear me, but I like to think they can.

If your parents are still alive, talk to them a lot while you can still have a two way conversation.

(terryV has to go now; he can't see to type right now)

I agree wholeheartedly!

[richinny]

my mom had to call her parents every day until they passed in their 90's.

when dad was alive i tried stretching it to 2 or 3 days but it made mom anxious. now that dad has passed i call daily because it makes her happy. not much new to talk about each time and i don't like the 'pressure' to do it but hey, it is my mom who always took care of others first. i understand.

[BentMetal]

Both parents still alive, and I talk to them at least twice a week by phone. They live a long way away from me. I am in my 50's, and I miss them terribly . My life and job are 1500 miles away from them. I may move back closer to them within 6 years.

[Eagle & Bear]

Dad died 18 years ago. In 2007 my sister and her husband moved in with my 82 year old mother. Sister is emotionally troubled and mom was exhibiting early stages of dementia. Within 3 months she and her husband were trying to get mom to put their names on the deed to mom's home in Bishop, CA. Second sister called me and told me that first sister was abusing mom and told me about first sister trying to get mom to put their names on the deed to her home. I traveled 1000 miles to talk to everyone. Second sister was right. I called Adult Protective Services. First sister disconnected the phone. APS did nothing. First sister hit my mother two years later. She and her husband were forced to move out of mom's home. I was unaware of their move until I heard that my third sister and her husband had checked themselves out of drug rehab in Eureka, CA and had moved in with mom. Third sister has been in and out of jail and drug rehab most of her adult life. At one time she was jailed for robbing my mother and grandmother and threatened to kill my mother because mom had turned her into the Sheriff. The phone is still disconnected. Christmas and birthday gifts and letters go unanswered. Still APS will not get involved. I have heard of this kind of thing happening but never thought that I would see it first hand. Third sister poses an unacceptable risk to my mother's safety and welfare. I still do not have a phone number that I can use to call my mother. I have given APS and the Sheriff copies of her and her husband's arrest records, history of poly drug abuse and a narrative that talks about her having all three of her children taken away from her because of abuse and abandonment but the County has refused to do anything to protect my mother from them. Christmas gifts are sent back and birthday cards go unanswered.

[Airtandem]

parents and in-laws deceased; we talk, but not on the phone. At our age, we still seek advice.
Mike & Dana

[ragin-cajun]

I'm about to turn 40. We're 600+ miles from home and I call my parents 3 times a week (and they sometimes text or call be twice in any given week). I have my kids call them once a week too. HOWEVER, my wife often goes weeks without talking to hers. Good relationships for both of us, but just different family practices.


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[Protagonist]

When I was in my 20s it was about once a week. In my 30s it was about once a month. In my 40s it was only when something noteworthy happened. In my 50s it was when I could find the time. We never were close, and the longer I lived apart from them the less we had in common.

[paiceman]

92 year old father lives 500 miles away. For years, even when my mother was alive no matter where in the world I was at 9:00AM their time I called. Still do. Will miss the calls when he is gone. Our adult daughter talks to my wife and or me daily.

[angle]

There is no way I could go a week with out talking to my mom and dad. Blessed to still have them with me. My sons are at least once a week and 3 daughters, 1 on ever Sunday. second one, once in a while, third she still lives at home with us. which is by the way wonderful. We keep our Firends close our Family closer. or try to. When the day does come that I lose one It will tear me apart. God bless Fathers and Mothers no matter there age, They are wonderful People.

[Someday'59]

Bonginator, I am curious about your "debate." Is the debate specifically about frequency of communication or does it center around your traveling and them being worried about your travel?

My husband and I have three "sets of parents." We talk to them frequently but have had to start being vague about our travel times. If they know specifically when we travel they tend to fret. Or phones blow up with texts, emails or phone calls "Did you make it there safe?" I know they just care about us and want to make sure we're safe but we feel that this level of worry is somewhat unhealthy. We try not to contribute to the problem. The best way we have found to handle the worry is by not giving them a specific time-frame that we are traveling.

[bonginator]

Originally Posted by Someday'59

Bonginator, I am curious about your "debate." Is the debate specifically about frequency of communication or does it center around your traveling and them being worried about your travel?

My husband and I have three "sets of parents." We talk to them frequently but have had to start being vague about our travel times. If they know specifically when we travel they tend to fret. Or phones blow up with texts, emails or phone calls "Did you make it there safe?" I know they just care about us and want to make sure we're safe but we feel that this level of worry is somewhat unhealthy. We try not to contribute to the problem. The best way we have found to handle the worry is by not giving them a specific time-frame that we are traveling.

Someday - It is more about the frequency of contact when living away from parents.

I think each family is different and there is no right answer.

I do know as my parents age, each conversation and visit becomes more precious. I will be devastated when I no longer can speak with them.

[FishinHatteras]

Originally Posted by terryV

Two daughters, ages 46 and 33. Talk to them every day at work, face to face, not phone.

Parents residing in Heaven. No phone to Heaven, you just talk or think to them. I do that several times a week. I don't know if they hear me, but I like to think they can.

If your parents are still alive, talk to them a lot while you can still have a two way conversation.

(terryV has to go now; he can't see to type right now)

I'm with terryV. I can't type right now either. Man I miss my dad, and my mom. Lost my only brother too. My grandmother "mimi"...oh man..
Just me now. Even tho I have a beautiful wife and three kids...just me now..
Signing off....You have no idea how much I miss them...

[Someday'59]

Originally Posted by bonginator

Someday - It is more about the frequency of contact when living away from parents.

I think each family is different and there is no right answer.

In that case, I guess I should answer the question.
Our parents live close. We talk to them 4-5 times a week.

Originally Posted by bonginator

I do know as my parents age, each conversation and visit becomes more precious. I will be devastated when I no longer can speak with them.

This is the sentiment I have about my grandparents who live away. I talk to them about 3 times a month. (But gosh, I should call more often.)

[JustSomeGuy]

I talk to my mother pretty much daily. My father doesn't like being bothered by phone calls, so once or twice a week (sometimes even less often).