You Might Be From Wisconsin If . . .
You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
Snow tires are standard on all your cars.
At least 50% of your relatives work on a dairy farm.
You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
You can identify a Michigan accent.
You know what "cow-tipping" is.
You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike.
If "down south" to you means Chicago.
If traveling coast-to-coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee.
The "Big Three" means Miller, Old Milwaukee and Pabst.
A brat is something you eat.
You know that Eau Claire is not something you eat.
You got a passport to go to Minnesota.
You used to think Deer Season was an official school holiday.
You know that Gotham is a real city.
You can actually pronounce and spell Oconomowoc.
The snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do.
Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
A Friday night date is taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
You go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts.
You tell someone where you are from and they say, "I thought that was part of Canada."
You know how to polka.
Your formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap.
Your children describe their summer vacation out-of-state as a "trip to Door County."
You go to Florida in August to get a tan.
You define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend.
Your 4th of July family picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
You have more fishing poles than teeth.
You think the four basic food groups are Brats, Beer, Cheese and Chew.
You were baptized with Blatz beer.
You know where to look for a bubbler.
You learned to spell "Kinnickinnic" before you could spell "Mississippi."
You can pronounce any word beginning with a "W" and ending in a vowel.
You believe the Upper Peninsula of Michigan really belongs to Wisconsin.
Know know that "Mawaukee" has no "L."
You know that "Fongulac" is the city at the south end of Lake Winnebago.
You know that Dells Ducks can't fly, but they can swim.
You have driven on a lake in your car.
You check the brand of every bathroom fixture you encounter to see if it's a Kohler.
You really did walk home from school as a child when the temperature was -20 F.
You've gotten sea-sick on Lake Michigan.
You don't need snow tires.
You check the antifreeze in your car on Labor Day.
You know that the most famous Bart is a Starr.
You know how to play sheepshead.
You know the difference between a Dairy Queen and frozen custard.
Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
You refer to the Packers as "we."
You can recognize someone from Illinois by their driving.
You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
You have caught a fish in Lake Michigan and it glowed in the dark.
You can visit Luxemburg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Berlin, New London and Poland all in one afternoon.
You consider Madison "exotic."
You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend.
You were offended by the movie "Fargo."
Your description of "Grilled Venison" includes a Buick, a snowy night and no mention of charcoal.
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car and you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
Your spouse uses ketchup on a charcoal grilled NY strip steak.
Fleet-Farm on any Saturday is busier than a toy store at Christmas.
You think a cultural night out is three games at the bowling alley wearing a collared shirt.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow
You and your spouse own a "winter car" while the "good one" sits in the garage from Nov-Apr.
You think everyone from south of Madison has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You buy kitty litter every winter, but you don't own a cat.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires six pages for sports (5 1/2 pages for the Packers...in July)!
You've worn your winter coat to watch the fire works on the 4th of July.
Your best shirt has a big letter G on it.
You think it's nice enough to swim when the temperature hits 50.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant or cannery.
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
You've ever said "Of course they'll win. They're God's team."
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the raccoons won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20F a little chilly.
You enjoy popsicles or fudgesicles in the dead of winter, although it is murder on your lips!
In winter, the trunk of your car or your garage doubles as a deep freezer.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snow boots, or worse, your galoshes.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout
You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction / Mosquito.
You expect to have off of work whenever the Packers are playing.
You pronounce Wisconsin as "Scon Sin."
You refer to 7-Up or Sprite as "White Soda."
You have a surplus of foam cheese hats in your closet
You can tell the difference between "real Wisconsin cheese" and "that Illinois stuff"
Your mechanic is John Deer certified
You don't even notice the Original Wisconsin Ducks signs every ten miles
You don't consider any body of water to be a lake if you can see the other side.
Your class took a field trip to a brewery...in second grade.
You turn and look when someone shouts "hey, 'ski!"
You know what "ain'a" means.