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Old 03-21-2014, 05:36 AM   #309
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Maggie, you and your family are our thoughts and prayers.

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Old 03-21-2014, 06:03 AM   #310
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Our prayers are with you today as you lay Doug to rest. Prayers for courage and strength to make it through this day with dignity and grace.

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Old 03-21-2014, 06:27 AM   #311
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Praying for truly amazing grace to carry you through this day and to help you focus all your energy on wonderful memories without being distracted by family members who themselves need to find a little grace in their lives. We all do.

You've done a truly beautiful job preparing for this day. May Doug rest in peace and may you have great comfort through your mourning.
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Old 03-21-2014, 06:46 AM   #312
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Have a safe trip today. May the good things in your life together with Doug dominate your thoughts.

Love, SuEllyn and Brian
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Old 03-21-2014, 08:10 AM   #313
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Very sorry to hear this tragic news and we will be praying for Doug. God Bless.
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Old 03-21-2014, 10:28 AM   #314
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Dealing With Phony Relatives

Maggie, a look can say more than words, and unlike words, a look can't come back to haunt you.

A few years ago I was so tired of my phony relatives, especially after spending one Christmas all alone. I couldn't take it when I bumped into one of them a few months later and he started blathering on about how we really should get together etc. I gave him a look that was the epitome of the same feelings you are dealing with now: hurt, disappointment, anger, and frankly....$crew off. He got the message and scampered away.

The phonies never bothered me again.

Stay strong, and don't be afraid to send your message via the look.
easily distracted by shiny objects
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Old 03-21-2014, 06:52 PM   #315
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Thinking of you tonight and tomorrow. Sending prayers.

Chris & Kay
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Old 03-21-2014, 08:51 PM   #316
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Sending thoughts and warm energy your way during this difficult time. Loren & Mike

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Old 03-21-2014, 09:40 PM   #317
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praying for your strength to get through the events coming and to find peace in knowing you did a great job in preserving the memory of Doug.
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Old 03-21-2014, 11:47 PM   #318
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Think of you often throughout the day. Pray that God gives you strength and grace. Wonder how Doug's Mom is doing especially at 94. I am sure you are a blessing to all; as you have been to your many friends here. Everyone here thinks only good thoughts about you and Doug.
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Old 03-22-2014, 11:13 AM   #319
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Having been away from the Forum for several days, I just saw your post about irritating family members. Stress can make people childish and that's irritating. Family members who act out are especially irritating because we expect a lot of our families. I doubt anyone gets the family they wish they had, but some of us have an excess of jerks in our families. I don't know your exact situation, but it seems like family drama (or melodrama) entered a couple of days ago.

Such things are not surprising when you are as far from events as I am, but they always seem a surprise when I'm in the middle of things. I think—why can't they just can it or go away? But they don't and it is a test for, as Jay said, forgiveness. I have plenty of jerks in my family, but my wife's makes up for it in kindness and love. Try to focus on those who offer unconditional love. If you falter in being kind to the jerks, so what? You have more important things to do that worry about them.

I think the funeral is today. I trust you'll get through it, perhaps like a sleepwalker at times, but I'm sure you'll make as best you can—and as best you can is all anyone can do.

In a few days when the friends and relatives are gone and the flowers have wilted, that will be the time for more introspection, adjustment and moving through grief. I trust you will move through that too. Some days will suck, some will be good. I'm sure you can count on support here.


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Old 03-22-2014, 07:23 PM   #320
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Well, it's over and I survived.

We had a lovely, well-attended visitation last night, a short visitation prior to the processional to the little church today, then a simple service and internment. A childhood friend of Doug's gave a eulogy and the niece-in-law sang 3 hymns, a cappella. Short and sweet. The church was perfect, and Doug is now buried under a huge pine tree, next to his Dad.

I could imagine him smiling.

Eugene Engel, the narrator on the video about Grace Hill Moravian Church that was posted here, attended the funeral. Knew Doug's 96 year old mom since they were children. She recognized him, he recognized her, they hugged and said each others name. Both of them deaf as posts, very touching.

No harsh words exchanged, didn't even have to give "the look". Bad behavior seemed to have dissipated in the last couple of days....perhaps some timely self-reflection, but at any rate everyone stepped up.

Have a nice chunk of donations to FaithWorks, too.

My kids are here with me til tomorrow. Going to visit the cemetery in the am, then head home. So much still to do.

He was a good, kind man, and I'm going to miss him.

Thank you all, again, so much. You helped me get through an unbearable situation.

XO Maggie
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
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Old 03-22-2014, 07:41 PM   #321
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Old 03-22-2014, 07:49 PM   #322
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...I believe a lot of people have gained something through your willingness to share this last journey with Doug, Maggie. Almost 20,000 people have viewed this thread. I suspect many of them look at their significant others just a bit differently and perhaps more lovingly. This has been a gift from you and Doug to all of us. Lots of love, Barry

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