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Old 04-23-2007, 03:05 PM   #15
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Droll Story

My dear departed mother could squeeze a nickel until the buffalo sh** in her hand. She literally had a crayon line around the bathtub limiting the amount of water we could use - less than 2 inches deep.

In college I ran into a way that one could supposedly use only one sheet - which I showed mother and several of her church choir mates.... who all thought it was hilarious.

Let us see if I can relate it without pictures:

Take a single sheet of TP.
Fold in half, turn 90 degrees and fold again.
On the intersection of the two folds, tear out a very small quarter-round piece - the radius of the tear should be 1cm. or slightly less
SAVE the torn out piece!
Drape the sheet over one finger by the hole so that it skirts the base of your finger.

Use your finger in place of TP....
Careful now...

Grab the draped sheet in the other hand and with a rotating motion, wipe your finger from base to tip...

Now remember the little piece left over?

Use it to clean under your fingernail.
EEEEEECH!

The devil made me do it.

Paula
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Old 04-23-2007, 03:26 PM   #16
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Paula, how funny!!!..if it works, don't fight it???..
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Old 04-23-2007, 05:14 PM   #17
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Crow....stick to singing. We can all concentrate on helping save our planet.
One sheet TP....NO. Need to find other ways. I did switch my light bulbs.
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:35 PM   #18
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What an enlightening thread...

One square? It must be made out of a sponge.
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:35 PM   #19
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Rabbits

OK, I thought this was too crude, but after reading Paula's post, well this one is mild

The bear and the rabbit were both squatting over the log at the same time, doing their business. The bear looks at the rabbit and says "Mr. Cottontail, do you ever have trouble with your pooh sticking to your fur?" Mr. Cottontail replied "Nosireee Bob, Mr. Bear. Never had a bit of trouble with that." Mr. Bear said "Good!", then picked him up and wiped with him.

We all just need to raise bunny rabbits
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Old 04-23-2007, 06:55 PM   #20
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It just goes to show that some people have rather strange priorities.
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Old 04-23-2007, 07:52 PM   #21
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I got some news for her. Will I need a doctors note for more TP? I have no colon. I need more TP than the usual person.
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:17 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JimGolden
OK, I thought this was too crude, but after reading Paula's post, well this one is mild

The bear and the rabbit were both squatting over the log at the same time, doing their business. The bear looks at the rabbit and says "Mr. Cottontail, do you ever have trouble with your pooh sticking to your fur?" Mr. Cottontail replied "Nosireee Bob, Mr. Bear. Never had a bit of trouble with that." Mr. Bear said "Good!", then picked him up and wiped with him.

We all just need to raise bunny rabbits
the version I heard was a squirrel rather than a rabbit and the moral of the story was....BE THE BEAR

Aaron
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:20 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foiled Again
My dear departed mother could squeeze a nickel until the buffalo sh** in her hand. She literally had a crayon line around the bathtub limiting the amount of water we could use - less than 2 inches deep.

In college I ran into a way that one could supposedly use only one sheet - which I showed mother and several of her church choir mates.... who all thought it was hilarious.

Let us see if I can relate it without pictures:

Take a single sheet of TP.
Fold in half, turn 90 degrees and fold again.
On the intersection of the two folds, tear out a very small quarter-round piece - the radius of the tear should be 1cm. or slightly less
SAVE the torn out piece!
Drape the sheet over one finger by the hole so that it skirts the base of your finger.

Use your finger in place of TP....
Careful now...

Grab the draped sheet in the other hand and with a rotating motion, wipe your finger from base to tip...

Now remember the little piece left over?

Use it to clean under your fingernail.
EEEEEECH!

The devil made me do it.

Paula
Uhhh Paula,
That is standard Military SOP with the cute little pieces of TP that they give you in the C Rations (talk about dating yourself) and I would suspect the MRE packs ...

Aaron
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:20 PM   #24
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How about this......
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:44 PM   #25
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hmm, ok, az, now how can we make it so it's 'recyclable'???
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:47 PM   #26
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Please...

somebody send this thread to the crapper and flush twice.
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Old 04-23-2007, 08:50 PM   #27
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Mark,

would Mr. Crapper approve?
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Old 04-23-2007, 10:34 PM   #28
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What ever happened to the midwest corn cob? and the
Sears catalog? Oh, I guess that was in the outside biffy
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