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fastrob · 08-12-2005, 08:19 AM

As a malpractice practitioner of incompetence I find that a brief period of sitting in my Airstream solves my problems.

tin sista · 08-12-2005, 08:22 AM

Here's a nickel's worth. That's the definition in my dictionary. I think the key concept for me is trust and loyalty as part of friendship. Then again I'm a little old fashioned, read vintage! LOL.

Peter&Denise · 08-12-2005, 08:25 AM

I'm probably in the minority here, but bobechs gets my vote for the best 5-cent shrink. His reply might not be sugar-coated, and thus is a little harder to swallow, but he makes many valid points and in fact most of what was written is pretty-well irrefutable. This little nugget is especially worth repeating:

"So I say yeah, get over your cheap self. If you think you have what it takes, just do it. Your friend either has what it takes or doesn't, too. But I think the fact that your friend, who knows you better we do, in effect estimated that you were more show than go speaks volumes."

The only thing I could possibly add is if you feel deeply slighted by your friend's actions, write that person off as a friend and move on. I've been screwed by "friends" in the past and they are definitely friends no longer. Ending the friendships completely was ultimately for the best and I have no regrets. I guess that's why when you're younger you have lots of friends and as you grow older you tend to weed out the a-holes. IMHO if you are over the age of 30 and have more than one "best" and five "very close" friends, then you are either very lucky or a fool. Just my 2 cents. P.

desi arnaz · 08-12-2005, 08:32 AM

try the mafia,voodo,or just pray she fails...............

cosmotini · 08-12-2005, 12:43 PM

Tell her she can be your first franchizee and will only take 5% of her gross.

If she can't agree to those terms, maybe she should "forget about it!".

swebster · 08-12-2005, 01:10 PM

Does not sound like much of a friend to me.

That said, it's not the idea itself that causes success or failure of a new venture - it's your ability to execute to it and make it successsful. In our business we have faced incumbent competitors and spawned copy cat upstarts, we've had employees leave to become competitors, industry partners turn on us and 800 pound gorillas threaten to squash us. There have been many moments when we wonder what and why we're doing what we're doing - despite many outisde opinions business is personal and its personally painful to feel betrayed or threatened.

But...

We consistantly gain in our marketplace because we can out execute them on most days and in most situations. And so we do. So should you.

I would tell her how you feel. Then go ahead with your vision and win in the "free world" marketplace.

nickcrowhurst · 08-12-2005, 01:57 PM

Yukionna, the exact same thing happened to my wife in 1968. We were very poor at the time, and we needed every penny to stay out of debt. I'm afraid we still feel betrayed, after 37 years, and we lost what we wrongly considered to be a friend. We should have long forgotten this episode, but human beings are often strange vulnerable creatures. The only comfort I can offer is that your emotions indicate your humanity, while the actions of your "friend" indicate a betrayal of all that is best in us. Nick.

rluhr · 08-12-2005, 02:30 PM

I'm with Peter&Denise, bobechs, and swebster. As an entrepreneur (on my third company and fourth product launch) I know that ideas are a dime a dozen. It's execution that counts.

But even if you weren't *really* going to do anything with your idea, it still doesn't excuse her rudeness. The primary thing that this person stole from you was your perception that she was your friend. I would guess that's what hurts the most and I sympathize with how you must feel about that.

------------

PS: Bobechs is also right about how greenhorns are always the ones trying to keep their ideas secret. For many new businesses, the key need is to tell the story to as many people as possible, to get them interested in helping you and investing.

Here's an example: My brother and I had an idea for a snow sled. Not very original, right? We told EVERYONE about it, just to test the waters and get ideas. Then we did some development work, filed patents for the key components and design, and went about raising money. Throughout the process the most important thing was to keep talking. I did many public speaking engagements to raise awareness. The only thing we kept secret was our exact business plan (investors only) and the specifics of our patent filings.

The result is at http://www.hammerheadsled.com [BEGIN SHAMELESS PLUG] (also to be found at EMS, LL Bean, Harrington, FAO Schwartz and other fine retailers this Christmas!) [/END SHAMELESS PLUG]

sd90mac · 08-12-2005, 05:05 PM

Uhhh Rich

I grew up in Florida, What's a sled, and where are the wheels????????

Marie

overlander63 · 08-12-2005, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sd90mac

Uhhh Rich

I grew up in Florida, What's a sled, and where are the wheels????????

Marie

Marie, you know what a sled is. a $500 car...

yukionna · 08-12-2005, 05:48 PM

Thanks for all your responses! When I started this thread last night, I was still reeling from the shock of her “slap.” I mostly just needed confirmation on what my intuition was already telling me – she is not a true friend. This thread was never about "losing" an idea – it was about the loss of a good friend as some of you astutely indicated. And, last but not least, I appreciate all the humor, i.e., DVD rewinder, Airstream storage facility, mafia, and voodoo.

Tinsel Loaf · 08-12-2005, 06:31 PM

Here is something that I remembered from long long ago.
"Friend's may come and friends may go, and friends may peter out, you know. But we'll be friends through thick and thin, peter out or peter in."

Lee Pace · 08-12-2005, 06:41 PM

I definitely agree with John. Go ahead with your idea and totally outdo her!

Lee Pace
69 Overlander
72 Tradewind
2001 Ford F-150
WBCCI 7187
Greenville, Tx.

mtpalms · 08-12-2005, 09:32 PM

SURVEY SAYS:

She's not your friend.

The important thing for you is not to hold any resentment, she is what she is, and unfortunately you can't go back in time and take it all back. I believe that everything happens for a reason, we just don't always know what that reason is until we are further down the road.
Best of luck with your venture.

(Yes, that phrase just screams caps)

overlander63 · 08-13-2005, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mtpalms

I believe that everything happens for a reason, we just don't always know what that reason is until we are further down the road.

Your once and former friend may wind up having to walk around with a "will work for food" sign after she is done with this venture, and it could have been you. Kind of like Steve Martin, and his Opti-Grabber.

bryanl · 08-14-2005, 01:40 PM

see http://doncostar.com/ for how inventors deal with this problem. The 'Help Letter' is advice for anyone considering new ideas.

Problem is that a business idea is not patentable so the only way to protect that is via trade secret.

And then their is the friendly betrayal - reminds me of the latest study that says a lot more fathers than you'd think have kids who aren't theirs

canny_banjo_man · 08-15-2005, 11:40 AM

Yukionna.....
U Poor, poor betrayed person U.... let Me vry shortly tell U wot hppnd 2 Me... My D/D & I, always took our cars 2 a TRUSTED guy who lives jus around the corner from us, for repairs & mot's beyond My scope, wot hppnd was, I was in the market 4a change of car, so I asked this Friend, the Car Doctor 2 L @@ K over this lttl out of town motor... it was, as far as I could C, vry GOOD indeed, a full mot, new tyres...& so on, & etc:, sounded nice ran like a dream, BUT... it had a hidden mystery, walkin away shakin His head, & moanin abt drivin a few miles 2 C a load of rubbish....
Turns out the Load of rubbish had somehow turned in2 a PERFECT idea lttl car 4 HIS WIFE, that very same afternoon...
Me, I paid that *"+*=>?</~ £15 cash 2 check it out 4 ME, cos I did'nt wanna B STUNG, & waste My hard earned cash on a LEMON....
...... So I KN exactly wot U sufferin, & how U feel abt Yr FIEND, sorry FRIEND.... We now USE OUR local Garage, & YES it still smarts when I C "MY CAR "...bein driven By his Wife... Grrr.... My Heart goes out 2U, & it's a shame vat Greed can & DOES spoil a long friendship... they say time heals... well it's bn 18 months now, & I'm STILL sore as a Bears Bum abt it...Chris.....

wheel interested · 08-16-2005, 07:30 AM

Yukionna,

I was wondering if you have allowed your friendship a second chance?

Quote:

Originally Posted by yukionna

I'm really struggling with something that just happened to me so would like to get your opinion on the situation. I have a business idea that I've been mulling over for awhile and I recently shared the idea with a close friend. A few days later, I happened to be talking with this same friend on an unrelated topic and she indicated that she was going to get involved herself in executing my idea herself. My initial reaction was shock. When I asked her what was up with that she indicated it was a free world, it is a great idea and there is plenty of room for more than one person doing the same work so I should just get over it.

In reality, I am really having a problem "just getting over it." I know enough not to share business ideas/brainstorming with any Tom, Dick or Harry but this is supposed to be my friend! I don't like the thought of losing a friendship over this but I'm having trouble accepting her as a friend right now. I know that I would never do this to a friend so I'm having trouble accepting that a friend would do this to me. What do you think? Should I just suck it up and deal with it (and keep my mouth shut next time)?