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Old 09-17-2003, 03:40 PM   #1
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Talking Marketing Jargon dechipered

NEW - Different color from previous design
ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE - Imported product
UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors
BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours
ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as H**l!
BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, mabey this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain
LATEST AREOSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing


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1978 Argosy 28 foot Motorhome

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. -- Plato


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Old 09-23-2003, 02:56 AM   #2
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Thank's 4 that...

Thank's Brett...
Now I can return this darn WEED KILLER...that kills ANYTHING, except DANDYLIONS...started off with abt 5, now I got abt 5,0000...Jus spray it on, she says...I did, weed turned yellow, went underground, split into three...an popped up a few inches away from the original...Revolutionary alright !!!...started a invasion, so I purchased a Garden flame thrower...heat up the leaves an the weed dies off...imune to that as well, I even tried SALT...seem to thrive on that...
So armed with Yr list...I think I may have a good case of " I want my money BACK "...lol...Thank's ...Chris.....
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Old 09-23-2003, 09:53 AM   #3
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Start calling the weeds "landscaping". They will soon die.
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Old 09-23-2003, 11:52 AM   #4
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Or harvest the young dandelion leaves and have a delicious salad. Then what you have is a vegetable garden.
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Old 09-23-2003, 03:54 PM   #5
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Dandelions...

Good evening to you Guys...
OK...lets see here...I cultivate the "D"s, into a landscape garden, my sister-in-laws will come round and put a curse on it, and I end with NOTHING...OR...I can go for the Veggie option, but I was told by Granma that touching "D"s makes one PEE the bed...gee, I'm gettin toooo old to be doing that sort of thing...
Any more ideas....!!!...Mmm how about TEA ?...Chris.....
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Old 09-23-2003, 04:58 PM   #6
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I was told by Granma that touching "D"s makes one PEE the bed
Obviously Granma didn't know how to motivate you to pull her "D"s. I bet she had a yard-ful of them, too!
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Old 09-24-2003, 02:13 AM   #7
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Gladly NO...

Hi Brett...
...In those days,( remember the '60s )....well abt '62, my Gran ( Bless Her )....lived in a terrace house, where the front door opens to greet the path, and her rear yard was was very small, and all concrete, in the corner was the outside LOO..., which used to freeze over in the winter....But She did have a WINDOW- BOX, always filled with MINT....for the new potatoes...
Now at that time my MOM, used a certain brand of washing powder..( still does ), actualy there were two brand rivals, one gave away plastic daffodils the other plastic tulips...we got quite a collection of these darn crude flowers...so rather than dispose of them, I took them to my Grans, I went into the yard, at the rear, and planted all these flowers in the cracks in the concrete...
looked kinda good to...lol.
I went to the front of the house and entered the front door, after a while there was such a commotion, I went out to see my Gran swinging her broom at these flowers...and cursing about NOT liking flowers, and proceded to play a kind of golf game and whack them all over her garden wall into the alley...
I decided to keep "MOM" about it...until many years passed before I told her it was me...Why did'nt you tell me before, I would have put them in a vase for you, and kept them in the cellar, and brought them out when you visited me...
Oh!!!...I do wish I could hear her voice now...Chris....
PS:....U don't want to know what she thought about all that FLOWER-POWER, Hippie era I turned into...man, it was cool man...
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