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Old 08-25-2006, 06:30 PM   #1
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Is it just me or...

I live in a small town,am 46 and my wife is 39.We are both still working full time.We have a 3 year old son.My wife's job is in the daytime and my job is on backshift (graveyard) midnight to 8 am.I work on the other side of town and although it is within walking distance,it would still take around 20-25 minutes and I drive to work.Our town is too small for a transit system.

A co-worker of mine lives near me and I've been driving him to and from work since he started his employment with our company 3 months ago.

Here's the thing.He has never once said even a simple thank-you for the drives.

Some mornings I also drive another co-worker who lives close to my workplace to his home on my way back and same thing...no thank you for the drive.

My better half thinks I'm being taken advantage of and that I'm not running a taxi service.I get along well with all my co-workers at our jobs.

What bothers me a little is that it seems so many people just expect things and simple manners and etiquette seem to be disappearing in today's world.My parents didn't bring me up that way and we will be doing all in our power to make sure our son isn't either.



That's my beef for the day.Has something similar happened to you where you were being just a regular helpful person and you feel you are being taken advantage of?
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Old 08-25-2006, 06:36 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by streamer23
I live in a small town,am 46 and my wife is 39.We are both still working full time.We have a 3 year old son.My wife's job is in the daytime and my job is on backshift (graveyard) midnight to 8 am.I work on the other side of town and although it is within walking distance,it would still take around 20-25 minutes and I drive to work.Our town is too small for a transit system.

A co-worker of mine lives near me and I've been driving him to and from work since he started his employment with our company 3 months ago.

Here's the thing.He has never once said even a simple thank-you for the drives.

Some mornings I also drive another co-worker who lives close to my workplace to his home on my way back and same thing...no thank you for the drive.

My better half thinks I'm being taken advantage of and that I'm not running a taxi service.I get along well with all my co-workers at our jobs.

What bothers me a little is that it seems so many people just expect things and simple manners and etiquette seem to be disappearing in today's world.My parents didn't bring me up that way and we will be doing all in our power to make sure our son isn't either.



That's my beef for the day.Has something similar happened to you where you were being just a regular helpful person and you feel you are being taken advantage of?
My advice is simple......shut down the "free" taxi service. You are being taken advantage of. Bill
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Old 08-25-2006, 06:37 PM   #3
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Old 08-25-2006, 06:50 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lebolewis
My advice is simple......shut down the "free" taxi service. You are being taken advantage of. Bill

Thanks,already done.We are moving into a house closer to my workplace next week so the situation no longer exists.

And no summerkid,I don't have a bike.Biking after midnight presents risks that I feel are unnecessary to me to take.

I was just making a commentary on how I perceive the way so many people live their lives on a daily basis oblivious on how their conduct affects other people.

Has no one else experienced a similar situation they want to share?
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Old 08-25-2006, 07:52 PM   #5
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I sympathize, and may or may not have experienced what you have. What I think is, and it's how I justified what I sometimes suspected to be taken advantage of, is that some people may be in such dire straits as to "glom" onto a free "whatever" in an effort to sustain themselves. This may be just a foolish justification of not wanting to admit to being a patsy for an opportunist, but I have felt and been told, if someone offers they can afford it, I suspect sometimes pride prevents people from expressing their gratitude or perhaps feels a thank you diminishes them in that they are not able to do it themselves. I could be all washed up here, but it was a thought that has visited me on occassion.
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Old 08-25-2006, 08:04 PM   #6
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Mike, what we once refered to as "common courtesy" is now gone...as too many folks are just "common."
I know that's a very grand generalization but I am with you on the way we were raised.
I end every converstation with my customers with "thanks for your business!"
Julie and I "thank" each other for the minor things.

BTW my gripe is about turn signals.... common courtesy of letting those around you know in advance what you are planning to do. All the new $50,000 SUV's seem to be lacking signals or they only work after pressing the brake pedal....

Ethics and common courtesy don't seem to fit with the "in your face" angry mode of the younger folks out there today it seems.

Hope your move goes smooth!
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Old 08-25-2006, 09:16 PM   #7
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Hi Mike...I can sympathize with you...been in a similar situation for the last 3 years. I was very naive and it took a lot of persueding from friends and of course my better half to make me realize my generosity had to stop....this of course is very hard when your naturally a giving person but my last straw was when this "friend" showed up the day before a race and said, "you won't mind throwing this tire on my kids bike by tomorrow would you?"...ugggghhh...that was it...yes...I put the tire on but that was the last tire. I had been taking these guys to races for 3 years and never saw a dime!....I didn't expect anything because I did it out of the love for the sport but it started to affect the way I felt about going to races...I was starting to not look forward to the one thing that I really enjoyed. That's when I decided I had to cut the cord. You know the sad part about it is if they are not mooching off of you they'll move on to someone else and it doesn't even phase them. I believe it's the way we are brought up to be socially responsible and appreciate the things people do for us which makes us the way we are...it really does stink feeling like you've been taken advantage of. The positive side to the story is now my son and I can enjoy quality time together..just us. I hope he too has learned something from this...I do want him to be a giving person..hopefully as he matures he will learn were to draw the line...it's hard being a nice person...sounds silly but true! Well your not alone....cheers go out to you for being you..a good person
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Old 08-25-2006, 09:23 PM   #8
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Mike, I read your situation, and I've decided that you're obviously an insensitive jerk who doesn't understand that the rest of us are entitled to mooch off you and that you should thank us for being there to do it. After all, "it's all about me" you know!

That WAS written with tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek of course. You've done more than your fair share. It's actually about karma. I suspect that when it comes down to it, you helped your co-worker out less because he needed it, and more because it was something you could do. Your karma really will come back to you when you need it most and expect it least.

Well done.

Roger
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Old 08-25-2006, 09:36 PM   #9
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I have a similar story that has to do with "your grass needs cutting", "you have too many cars in your driveway", "you part your hair on the wrong side", "you yadda, yadda." And the government will fix it for you if don't comply with OUR ideas. I could fill in the details, but it's the same story. Civility seems to be a lost art. Stick to your proper beliefs, Mike. Maybe the good guys can win again.

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Old 08-25-2006, 09:54 PM   #10
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I to have a story like yours, I took a business partner in to share my booth at the antique mall a so call friend and it has lasted 6 months. I have done all the book keeping, moving furniture, pricing her stuff and hauling her stuff and decorating her stuff and around the first of each month she would call and ask if I had sent the check for her sells. My husband kept telling me I was being used that all she had to do was go to the mailbox and get her check.
I finally wised up and told her last month that it would probably be best she move out the end of this month since she didn't have time to help. So now it's the end of the month, can you believe she had the nerve to call me and ask if I had any extra boxes would I go ahead and start packing her stuff. I told her No!!!! I learned a lesson always paddle your own canoe.
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Old 08-25-2006, 09:55 PM   #11
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Sorry you had that experience

All the input above is so great. I wonder too, you know some people didn't /don't get good training growing up. I thank my grandma's memory everyday for teaching me to write thank you notes, to do all the little things that I used to think were so pointless as a kid. I can't tell you how shocking it is that people don't send thank yous especially when you give expensive gifts for graduation and weddings, etc. I feel sorry for people who didn't get good home training. I guess they might be clueless, maybe we need to train them since their grannies couldn't? By being more assertive? I know I need to do that, I surely let people get away with too much. Hmm maybe there's a nice ladies club I could join...
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Old 08-25-2006, 09:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by streamer23
I was just making a commentary on how I perceive the way so many people live their lives on a daily basis oblivious on how their conduct affects other people.

Has no one else experienced a similar situation they want to share?
Yes, and no. No, only because there have been too many times. Like the co-worker that just jumped in my truck one evening, and told me to take him home. He walked, in the rain.
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:00 PM   #13
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Mike,

There are givers in this world, and there are takers. I'm not talking about the grand larcency kind of takers - just the common needy ones who feel something is owed to them or that they'd be a fool to pass it up... as long as it's available and it's free. These folks never express appreciation because it's percieved to be an entirely natural relationship by them. You provide some service, and without them, you wouldn't be able to provide it. Therefore, they are doing YOU a service by accepting it so you can do your good work. If pressed, they would acknowledge that you are doing that. However, in the regular course of days, don't expect more than an easy grace or acceptance in this relationship. As they see it, it's a straight-forward transaction. Who cares if it's unbalanced? Certainly not them.

It's good that you're able to get along with co-workers who take advantage of you.

Lamar
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Old 08-25-2006, 10:48 PM   #14
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Question

No direct response here, only ruminations from the dark ages.

How an adult behaves is almost always the direct result of how s/he was raised. The current and not-too-distant economic conditions have, and continue, to force parents to choose day-care on a cost basis (been there, got the tee shirt).

The low bidder cannot transmit your values to your child.

The boors that you have allowed to freeload off you were raised either by dogs in the wild or by people with values way lower than you find acceptable. Let 'em walk in the rain. You can't help them and retain your sanity.

No, this is not a condemnation of all of those sweet, caring and loving people that have cared for and helped my daughter grow up while my ex and I brought in the big bucks. This is only a rambling on how we fail to transmit our values through generations bacause we're too busy working to take care of the things that we think matter.

There, I feel much better now.

Mick
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