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Old 04-05-2006, 09:38 AM   #1
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How to terrorize an Airstream owner ...

... I recently moved to racist redneck hell. My neighbors are seriously strange & scary. The one to the south has her windows COMPLETELY covered with what appear to be mattress pads and, in 4 months, she hasn't waved, spoken, nada. Not that she comes out from under the mattress pads often anyway. She also has a decrepit stuffed monkey hanging from her trees & one of her birdhouses has a naked baby doll sitting on top of it. So why was I surprised to be awoken at 8:37 a.m. by a familiar sound coming from the direction where my Airstreams are parked? I am VERY GROGGY in the mornings & not much gets me storming out of the house in a bathrobe & slippers. Why on EARTH wouldn't this woman have given me a heads up that a 60-foot sycamore was coming down 30 feet from $30,000 in aluminum real estate. I am livid, I am flabbergasted.
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Old 04-05-2006, 09:47 AM   #2
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Reminds me of the day a friend and I went over to another friend's house to help take out a tree. Some fancy angle measurements and a little geometry said that the tree couldn't quite reach the house.

Gee, but it sure looked tall.....

It actually reached the house and beyond, but luckily missed the house by a few inches, taking only one shingle off the roof. Owner's wife gave me the beadiest stare ever and stalked into the house.

Hope the tree guys next door have a more reliable calculator... ... shoot, maybe I was using radians instead of degress?
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Old 04-05-2006, 09:50 AM   #3
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Reminds me of a close call I had two years ago in the winter when my neighbor's tree fell next to my house in the spot where I normally store my Airstream. Lucky for us, our Airstream was sitting at Jackson Center that winter for some repair work otherwise it would have been crushed.

The spot in the picture below is where the Airstream would normally be stored for the winter.
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Old 04-05-2006, 09:52 AM   #4
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... shoot, maybe I was using radians instead of degress?
Or even mils maybe? Kid, hopefully your tincans stay intact. Otherwise I think that monkey and baby might be havin themselves a accident (is that how you say it in redneckese?)

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Old 04-05-2006, 09:55 AM   #5
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I can't even look ...

... so here is the view from my computer desk, which doesn't quite explain why I took a chance on this Midwestern meth heaven, but it IS some consolation as the weather gets nicer:
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Old 04-05-2006, 09:58 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by summerkid
... so here is the view from my computer desk, which doesn't quite explain why I took a chance on this Midwestern meth heaven, but it IS some consolation as the weather gets nicer:
Very nice location. But, keep in mind, as the weather gets nicer, for better or worse, your neighbors will probably come out of their house!!!
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Old 04-05-2006, 09:59 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by summerkid
... I recently moved to racist redneck hell. My neighbors are seriously strange & scary. The one to the south has her windows COMPLETELY covered with what appear to be mattress pads and, in 4 months, she hasn't waved, spoken, nada. Not that she comes out from under the mattress pads often anyway. She also has a decrepit stuffed monkey hanging from her trees & one of her birdhouses has a naked baby doll sitting on top of it. So why was I surprised to be awoken at 8:37 a.m. by a familiar sound coming from the direction where my Airstreams are parked? I am VERY GROGGY in the mornings & not much gets me storming out of the house in a bathrobe & slippers. Why on EARTH wouldn't this woman have given me a heads up that a 60-foot sycamore was coming down 30 feet from $30,000 in aluminum real estate. I am livid, I am flabbergasted.
So did you move the trailers out of the way!?!?!?!


I'd move them even a few feet if it ment a few more feet or margin.

Kevin
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Old 04-05-2006, 10:08 AM   #8
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Smile Good luck!

Bummer about the neighbors. Hope it works out for you. Sounds like they are not the type of neighbor that you could take some baked goods over and introduce yourself to (mattresses in the window!)...
Gorgeous view of the river (lake?)...I'm thinking a nice tall privacy fence between you and the folks who've gone to the mattresses would be a good investment...cause as yuki pointed out they'll be coming out in the summer....sorry you had that fright in the am
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Old 04-05-2006, 10:15 AM   #9
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I'm completely blocked in by equipment. But the sycamore is sufficiently sheared now to the point where the trunk that is left can't reach the trailers. Thank the Lord they had to be super-careful anyway because the sycamore is a scant 6 feet from Mattress Cover Nutjob's shack, which is probably worth less than the Airstreams. Maybe she herself is hoping the whole shebang gets crushed for the insurance money, because her red Mustang with the vanity plate is parked in the garage, which near as I can tell accounts for much of the square footage of her house. (Those windows are also covered with mattress pads. But late one night the lights in the garage were on & I could see written on the window covering---backward from the outside, of course---"Send help." Ain't that the truth, I thought.)

The most dangerous minutes were probably those when I was still coming to, lying in bed thinking "Boy, that sounds like an extension truck & wood chipper out by the Airstreams. Naw, that doesn't make any sense ......"
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Old 04-05-2006, 10:51 AM   #10
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ahh......you might not want to meet her......

couldn't resist.......
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Old 04-05-2006, 11:15 AM   #11
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Why assume anything? A good example of this is that Super Bowl ad with the two doctors who killed the fly with the defibrillator. Appearances CAN be deceiving. Maybe they have mattresses on the windows because this year they can't afford to fix the windows that leak cold air in the winter? Perhaps their money is being used to pay for cancer treatments for the husband on his death bed?

I would personally take a chance -- bake that cake or muffins -- knock on the door -- introduce yourself.
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Old 04-05-2006, 11:40 AM   #12
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Quote:
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... I recently moved to racist redneck hell.
Ummmmm........ why?
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Old 04-05-2006, 11:45 AM   #13
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Why assume anything? A good example of this is that Super Bowl ad with the two doctors who killed the fly with the defibrillator. Appearances CAN be deceiving. Maybe they have mattresses on the windows because this year they can't afford to fix the windows that leak cold air in the winter? Perhaps their money is being used to pay for cancer treatments for the husband on his death bed?

I would personally take a chance -- bake that cake or muffins -- knock on the door -- introduce yourself.
If that doesn't work, and you end up shuffling off your mortal coil to the theme of "Deliverance", can I have your Airstreams?
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Old 04-05-2006, 11:51 AM   #14
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Cool Will this road take us to Antry?

Wow you know from the description I took it that it was scary in terms of a personal safety scary. Just my take on it, there are many a lot braver than me...my motto is "run away, run away..." that's how most of our family got to America
The monkey in the tree thing and the writing 'send help' that's kinda spooky to me. Good luck!!
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