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Old 12-09-2014, 03:47 PM   #85
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Feats of Strength

There are no "Feats of Strength" that involve lifting or breaking things.

In the traditional Festivus Event the only Feat of Strength involves defeating the Pater Familias in a wrestling match.
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Old 12-09-2014, 04:16 PM   #86
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I guess I'm the head of the family (pater familias) since my parents died. I will beat myself up in a wrestling match on 12/23. However, I submit that typing is feat of strength since most of vowels on my keyboard have worn off and I have to guess which is a, e, i, or o, but not u or y which are still there; r and n are gone too—damn Apple computer keyboards (another grievance).

Gene
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Old 12-10-2014, 08:17 AM   #87
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The airing of grievances:
- My new smart phone is proving to be smarter than I am.
- I don't have any more camping trips planned in my Airstream until January.
- The guy who is moving into my cubicle when I retire wants me to rearrange the furniture for him before I go.
- The contractors remodeling my apartment complex seem incapable of finishing any project they start.
Feats of strength:
- Installing the towbar on my Airstream Interstate in preparation for Canopener 2015.
- Installing the towbar baseplates and crossbar on my toad, also in preparation for Canopener 2015.

I didn't really need to do it this soon, but with a contractor working inside my apartment to do some remodeling, it was just as easy to install the towing gear on my vehicles now and get it all out of the contractor's way.
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Old 12-10-2014, 11:36 AM   #88
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New Festivus Pole

We had a good year so I have purchased a new and much heavier Festivus pole for this year's occasion.
It's slightly crooked That's OK.
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Old 12-11-2014, 05:05 PM   #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Protagonist View Post
The airing of grievances:
- My new smart phone is proving to be smarter than I am.
- I don't have any more camping trips planned in my Airstream until January.
- The guy who is moving into my cubicle when I retire wants me to rearrange the furniture for him before I go.
- The contractors remodeling my apartment complex seem incapable of finishing any project they start.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Protagonist View Post
Feats of strength:
- Installing the towbar on my Airstream Interstate in preparation for Canopener 2015.
- Installing the towbar baseplates and crossbar on my toad, also in preparation for Canopener 2015.
Festivus Miracle:
- When a cement truck struck the back of my Airstream Interstate in the parking lot at my apartment complex (they were pouring concrete for new curbs and sidewalks) they only damaged the recently-reinstalled towbar, not the van itself! It will still take half of bloody forever to get reimbursed for the damage, but at least I can replace the towbar in time to use it on my way to Canopener 2015!
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Old 12-11-2014, 05:55 PM   #90
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Happy Festivus

A celebration for the rest of us! Brought out the Festivus aluminum pole, its a bit dusty, if anyone has a problem with that they can air their grievances after dinner!

A picture of the aluminum pole
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Old 12-12-2014, 05:08 AM   #91
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Thumbs up

We must be all inclusive around here.....

Have a very PC...Quanmistivus.

Bob
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Old 12-12-2014, 08:38 AM   #92
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This Festivus is just what I need!
Just bought a pile of aluminum in the shape of a 20 footer no aluminum poles included, so I was wondering if they make artificial aluminum poles, or maybe I could get by with a miniature pole, perhaps a used roll of aluminum foil? (My wallet is noticeably lighter this year.)

Now, I have an apocryphal story about a failure in interstate reciprocity. Bear with me.

Down in the deep South where this happy aluminum acquisition occurred, they don't put the selling price on the documentation. Guess they don't need it for state purposes...

But back here in my home state that will be nameless, when I go to get a registration for this here pile, they want the selling price on that documentation so they can charge me the full sales tax here. So they rejected...REJECTED...my sales docs as insufficient. They want me to get new ones -- in that deep South state! Whatever happened to the principle of interstate reciprocity? These are the legal documents down there! Not that I wasn't prepared to pay my state's tax...(Ouch). They just won't take my word in a private party transaction for the price!

How's that for a grievance?

When it comes to poles, I guess I have already been shafted.
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Old 12-14-2014, 03:32 PM   #93
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I have grievances and feats of strength, now I need a pole? Can the Xmas tree substitute for a pole? I really don't know the rules for this, but I think I feel another grievance coming on. I still don't know what I'm supposed to do for Kwanza. As for New Year's Eve, I'll drink a beer and fall sleep by 9 pm in a chair. At 9:55 I'll be awakened to see the ball drop in Times' Square and at 10:05 I'll stumble off to bed. If it is midnight in NYC, that's good enough for me.

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Old 12-14-2014, 05:05 PM   #94
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On the first day of Christmas my True Love gave to me a........


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Old 12-14-2014, 05:25 PM   #95
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I have grievances and feats of strength, now I need a pole? Can the Xmas tree substitute for a pole? I really don't know the rules for this, but I think I feel another grievance coming on.
My Festivus pole is simply the pedestal for my Airstream's tiny table, with the tabletop left off. It's aluminum, and kind of pole-shaped, just not very tall.
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Old 12-14-2014, 05:39 PM   #96
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Can I use a real Pole? From Warsaw, for example? Or maybe a Maypole? I like things that have 2 uses and the Maypole just looks so lonely out there in the snow. I can't wait for the virgins to dance around it although they may not dance too well in snowboots.

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Old 12-21-2014, 06:27 PM   #97
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A Happy Festivus and Solstice to everyone this chilly Winter Day.

After thinking about making a Pole for a few years I've finally stopped procrastinating, dug around in my scrap box, and made a table top version.
I am however disappointed in myself. I should have checked the age of the shellac for the base before I brushed it on otherwise it would have been done sooner. Got it fixed. The stuff gets clumpy.

No matter. I'm taking it to work tomorrow. A number of of my colleges will be more than delighted to take the pole off the base and share their disappointments with certain people.

May your Year End celebrations be merry and have a prosperous New Year.

Tom
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Old 12-22-2014, 11:09 AM   #98
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markdoane View Post
There are no "Feats of Strength" that involve lifting or breaking things.

In the traditional Festivus Event the only Feat of Strength involves defeating the Pater Familias in a wrestling match.
Now that we are on the cusp of solstice, the festivus exciteman quickens...

In casting about for a Feat of Strength, I considered hatching a plot to take my Pater Familias by surprise to assure me a fighting chance. But then I realized that any such attempt would be doomed as self-defeating. Literally.
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