Originally Posted by GreatPumpkin
Roger - So true, so true!
The question remains... has anyone figured out what all those knobs and switches do? or how to operate them?
Hey Great Pumpkin; Truly great, short and sweet comment. This issue will remain as controversy forever, because most people walk in the darkness with night vision apparatus hanging off the neck. While it is sad for many, the truth is it is their choice. I am not about to go any further with this statement, but I would like to talk about my family values to make my point.
My Dad was a high ranking hard core full time military man. Mom was by her choice a physics professor. With us lived Grand Mom, from Mom's side.
The whole family was in the pecking order. Dad was the final authority over everyone. Very demanding in every way especially on the issue of respect.
Dad always included Mom in most decisions. However if Mom sometimes drew wrong conclusion suggesting that he was wrong, he would say OK this time we will do it wrong. This signaled end of discussion without anyone getting upset. Mom knew he was never wrong in making major decisions.
Mom was Dad's Universe around which his life's functions depended on. If he had it his way she would be resting in most comfy recliner behind the glass, with everyone including him bowing to her as we walk by. She was his world and no one dared to disrespect her. Then there was Grand Mom, in the role of Colonel. She ran the household and was the disciplinary to five of us kids. Four of us were boys, with our sister being the youngest. She had no problem dealing with four of us terror dealing boys. She could beat you up and when you cried one minute later you got candy and apology with explanation that we should not gotten her that mad at us. She was the greatest teacher I have ever had. Questions directed to her were answered in riddles forcing us to think and eventually find your own answer.
The four of us boys were in Dad's training camp. Ultimate respect was demanded to Mom and Grand Mom. When Mom spoke to us, we had to stand up and look directly at Mom. You sat down when she was done. It was not Mom's demand but no one could override Dad's order. After school we had house chores. Dad had a very large garden as his pride and joy, and maintaining it was a part of the chores. Some of the chores could be done anytime, others had a time frame. If you happen to miss something, you were told about it at dinner. At that time when question was asked, you were expected to leave the table and be on the way to finish your chore. You ate dinner later, cold. During the dinner if you were playing with with food because you did not liked it, you were ordered to go to bed hungry. Next morning you were ready to eat anything that did not look like nails or barbed wire. Dad would say, anything that I eat should be good enough for you.
Mom or Grand Mom was not allowed to prepare another meal for us just
because we did not like what was on the plate. More than anything else you did not dare to criticize the meal or even think of back talking to Mom or Grand Mom. Perhaps you may say that I grew up in very harsh environment and you are right. However, I have learned respect for life, myself and my surroundings.
All five of us are happily married reaching 60's. My first blissful marriage lasted 28 years after which I lost her in six year battle with cancer. She knew how to operate that switch box very well and as good as I could. Despite the fact that she could not have children there was no one else in my life like her and there was nothing that I would not be willing to do for her. She was my Universe just like Mom to my Dad. Is it a coincident?
After her death I swore that I will not give up the wonderful memory of her by re marrying. Fate had different plans for me. I met a lady which is four years older than me. We became very close friends. She was divorced for five years, coming out of rotten marriage in which she stayed for her children, which are all adults now and married. She too did not want to ever be in another marriage. Year later I proposed and she accepted. This was eight blissful years ago. Why is our life so good? It is because I have showed her how to work that switch box, which was not easy for her to learn, having bad habits from the previous disrespectful marriage. My commitment has proved to her, how different and wonderful life can be. Was it hard to do? Maybe so. Was it worth it? You bet your life on it. There is nothing I would not do for her. Does she nag me? No. Does she have to? No. She knows my schedule in business, she knows that I will grant her wish first chance I get.
In return she grants mine. After 30 years of bad marriage she thinks she met heaven, and I know that I am in one as well.
Moral of this story is that we, men and women, are equally responsible for our lifestyles. We can make it pleasant or difficult, because we fail to understand what is important and what is not. We fail to realize that you cannot drink from empty cup. You get out of life what you put in it. Blame your partner if you will, but until you put goodness into that life, it is impossible to get anything out of it. As much as I wish I did not have to say this, but individual upbringing is what sets the guidelines for life. If you missed them as a child, pull yourself by the boot straps and set goals for improvements in marriage instead of complaining. So there, I have said what was on my mind. Perhaps this is not attainable for all, but my life is a sufficient proof to me that you get back what you deal out. Thanks, "Boatdoc"