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Old 02-14-2007, 09:00 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by 85MH325
Nothing new here...

Roger
Roger - So true, so true! The question remains... has anyone figured out what all those knobs and switches do? or how to operate them?
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:03 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 85MH325
Nothing new here...

Roger
AMEN Reverend!
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:05 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatPumpkin
The question remains... has anyone figured out what all those knobs and switches do? or how to operate them?
The real question is who cares what they do.......whatever they do, you'll never get it balanced correctly anyway which will cause even more problems because you messed with 'em.

The only two buttons I might venture to try would be the MUTE knob/button or the OFF knob/button. Mute would have several advantages over the off button as I see it though....just might take some time to either find it or add it.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:08 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreatPumpkin
has anyone figured out what all those knobs and switches do? or how to operate them?
The world may never know...
And all the women I know are aware that if they want something from me, they better tell me. I don't do looks, hints, or sighs.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:09 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by overlander63
The world may never know...
And all the women I know are aware that if they want something from me, they better tell me. I don't do looks, hints, or sighs.
Too bad an "Easy" button can't be wired into that panel....
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:11 PM   #20
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REF: Operating SystemWife 1.0

Dear Sirs,

Last year I changed from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, and I have observed that the program runs a unexpected Child process 0.23 Beta that takes a lot of space and importan resources. In the leaflet of the program didn't mention this phenomena. Furthermore, Wife 1.0 autoinstalls in all other programs and it runs when starting any other application, monitoring all activity of the system. Applications like Hunting 10.3, Drinking 4.0, HamRadio 2.5, or SundayFootball 5.0 no longer work, and the system hangs each time I wan to load them.
Sometimes a hidden program (virus or trojan?) called MotherInLaw 1.0 that seem to be memory resident appears and it completely hangs the system or it makes Wife 1.0 behave in an unpredictable way, for instance, not accepting any command I enter.

I haven't managed to uninstall this resident program. Aparently I can't keep Wife 1.0 minimized when running some of my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to the former program GirlFriend 7.0, but uninstall doesn't work. Could you help me?
Thanks.
ANSWER:

Dear user,
This a a very common complaint among the users of Wife 1.0, but in general it's because of a basic missunderstanding. Many people change from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is just an amusing program or a utility program. However Wife 1.0 (on the contrary to GirlFriend 7.0) is a complete OPERATING SYSTEM and it was designed to control the whole system.
It's very unlikely that you can purge Wife 1.0 and convert it back to GirlFriend 7.0. There are hidden operating files in your system that would make GirlFriend 7.0 emulate Wife 1.0, so it's not worth it.

It's impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files once installed. You can't use GirlFriend 7.0 any more because Wife 1.0 is programed for that. The same happens with MotherInLaw 1.0 that is a hidden application that autoinstalls in the system while Wife 1.0 is running.
Some people have tried formating the system completely in order to later install the programs GirlFriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but they end up with more problems than before. Read the manual, section "Precautions", chapters "Divorce, pensions - Child custody"
On the other hand, if you change to GilfFriend 8.0, don't try later to change to Wife 2.0 because the problems of this new version of the operating system are the same, or even worst, than those of Wife 1.0. Although a version 3.0 (and even 4.0) of Wife exists, they are only for specialists and not advisable for the normal user.

If all fails, it's better to try systems based in completely different platforms, like Celibacy 1.0 or Gay 5.3. I recomend you keep Wife 1.0 and handle the situation the best you can.

I personally also have Wife 1.0 installed, and I suggest you study the whole section of the manual "General Faults of Society (GFS's)"
Wife 1.0 is a program very sensitive to commands and it works in "Fail-Safe" mode. This means that you must assume the responsability of any problem that arises, independently of its reason, because the program will always consider any system fault as being due to the improper handling of the user.
One of the main application utilities is the command C:\IAMSORRY when a problem arises or the systems hangs. Don't restart the system because it will continue failing. Avoid an excesive use of the "ESC" or "DEL" keys, because then you will have to use the IAMSORRY command in order to make the program work normally. The system will work nicely if you assume all blames of GFS's. Wife 1.0 is a very interesting system, but with at a high cost of maintenance.
Consider the possibility to install some additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recomend you Candy 2.1 or Flowers 5.0.

You can also use YesDarling 8.0 or YouAreRight 14.7, they are very well know Shareware programs that work great as residents. You can get them almost anywhere.

NEVER INSTALL SecretaryInMiniSkirt 3.3, OldFriendWithBigTeats 7.5 or Buddies 4.6. These progrmas won't work under Wife 1.0 and will probably cause irreversible damage to the Operating System.

Good luck. The technician.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:13 PM   #21
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This is all I know about reactance:

As the inductance of a component increases, its inductive reactance becomes larger in imaginary terms, assuming the frequency is held constant. As the frequency increases for a given value of inductance, the inductive reactance increases in imaginary terms. If L is the inductance in henries (H) and f is the frequency in Hertz (Hz), then the inductive reactance +jXL, in imaginary-number ohms, is given by:
+jXL = +j(6.2832fL)


Here is all I know about what goes on in a woman's head:

Null, zero, nada, zip, naught,
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:13 PM   #22
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Or as the Trailer Park Troubadours song says, I wish I had a clapper to your heart. My hubby loves that one. Clap on when I want you, clap off when I don't, something like that.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:19 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvertwinkie
Too bad an "Easy" button can't be wired into that panel....
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:19 PM   #24
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:20 PM   #25
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I need a electrician to rewire me as I canít ignore my wife, and it is valentines day/night.

Jim
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:21 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markdoane

Here is all I know about what goes on in a woman's head:

Null, zero, nada, zip, naught,
Jack Nicholson said it best in "As good as it gets" when asked how he wrote women so well.

"I think of a man, and I take away reason, and accountability.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:22 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 85MH325
Like this?
Yes, just like that, only not just a cropped picture...one that really is wired in and works!
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:25 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvertwinkie
Yes, just like that, only not just a cropped picture...one that really is wired in and works!
This was just a conceptual model; a mockup. I suspect that a working prototype will never be developed...
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