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Old 09-29-2012, 12:09 PM   #155
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Smile You have your hands full...

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I stay at home with our four kids and run the business end of our office. When ever I go shopping with all the kids. I always here " you have your hands full". Once would be ok. But I was in JC Penny's yesterday and heard it 5 times.

We just say, better than empty! Thanks! (we have seven kids)
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Old 09-29-2012, 12:29 PM   #156
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"Beyond a reasonable doubt."

Guaranteed to stupefy every jury in the land.
It confuses lawyers and judges too. Think if it as: convict if you only have unreasonable doubts.

Gene
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Old 09-29-2012, 12:33 PM   #157
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It confuses lawyers and judges too. Think if it as: convict if you only have unreasonable doubts.

Gene
I play the odds. 90% are guilty. Therefor I will vote not guilty on the tenth jury I serve on.

Ken

P.S. Here's a valuable tip. To avoid serving on a jury, get in a argument with the defense attorney during jury selection.
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Old 09-29-2012, 12:46 PM   #158
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Wasn't it actually, "Back in the good old days"?

That's actually how I finally started to realize that I was getting old. When I finally had a coworker who was younger than my career, and I could honestly say to him, "I've been doing this since before you were born."
Hi, I was in a bank once and my wife and I look younger than we are. Some people will even argue with us until I show them my driver's license. I told the young female clerk that I probably graduated from High School before her parents were even born. After exchanging a few numbers, I was right by about one year.
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Old 09-29-2012, 12:55 PM   #159
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You, too?
Me, too!
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Old 09-29-2012, 01:26 PM   #160
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And he went like
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Old 09-29-2012, 01:37 PM   #161
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P.S. Here's a valuable tip. To avoid serving on a jury, get in a argument with the defense attorney during jury selection.
The jury selection process is different in Canada. There is no pre-selection interrogation by counsel. Those in the jury pool are paraded before Crown and defence counsel (it always reminded me of the hooker parade at the Mustang Ranch). There is no verbal exchange. The only info. counsel is privy to is their name, address, and occupation.
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Old 09-29-2012, 01:50 PM   #162
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The jury selection process is different in Canada. There is no pre-selection interrogation by counsel. Those in the jury pool are paraded before Crown and defence counsel (it always reminded me of the hooker parade at the Mustang Ranch). There is no verbal exchange. The only info. counsel is privy to is their name, address, and occupation.
Then, I guess the only option left is to moon them.

Ken
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Old 09-29-2012, 04:23 PM   #163
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Then, I guess the only option left is to moon them.

Ken

And you won't be the first to be caught with their pants down in court!
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Old 09-29-2012, 04:32 PM   #164
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P.S. Here's a valuable tip. To avoid serving on a jury, get in a argument with the defense attorney during jury selection.
Or say that you belong to the NRA (or even better, wear a polo shirt with the NRA logo to the jury selection).
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Old 09-29-2012, 05:02 PM   #165
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And you won't be the first to be caught with their pants down in court!
I believe that's the origin of the expression "I'll see your ass in court"

Ken
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Old 09-29-2012, 07:36 PM   #166
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Tell them you are a lawyer or a cop. Lawyers don't like lawyers or cops (especially in criminal cases) on juries, but in Colorado everyone has to show up when called regardless of whether they are unlikely to be chosen. Lawyers on a jury are likely to be asked by other jurors what the law is and they are not supposed to say (that's the judge's job), but it will creep in; also lawyers will unduly influence some jurors because lawyers are thought to be experts. Of course, if you are not a lawyer or cop, and the judge finds out, you can be assured that contempt of court means some time in the county lock up.

The only time I got as far as voir dire before being told to go home, the defendants were black, but no one in the jury pool of about 40 was. Nor was anyone else in the room. This was not a good situation for them.
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Old 09-30-2012, 03:15 PM   #167
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And he went like
So, like, I go...
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:09 PM   #168
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So, like, I go...
You have it backwards.

Today., it's "I was so like,,,,,"

Is that what your signature line refers to??


Ken
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