A Very Different Kind of Life

[Pagey]

Sometimes that celebratory wine is just what the doctor ordered!

Glad your sis-in-law has a good network of support. I believe you have earned a bit of a rest.

Be well.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Pagey.

You're all so sweet to me.

I cannot adequately express the impact the support and caring here, from all of you, has had on me. You're good people. I appreciate and thank you.


As I've said, I spend some time almost every evening searching and reading about grief, recovery, moving forward, etc. It is a good thing, for me.

It is so helpful to find and read the words others have composed and written, from their hearts and own experiences, that are a "fit" for me, and help me move through profound and numbing grief. They are absolutely focus and forward inspiring.

We are all more alike than we are different. That, I know for sure.

I therefore feel compelled to share some of these, so bear with me and ignore them if they seem too sappy. Know that I am consciously restraining myself from lists of quotes every day.


Maggie


Evenings on the IPad:

Use the uncertainty of life as a constant reminder to be grateful.

[cwf]

Like this!

[Lily&Me]

Yes, but I prefer white......a light Riesling or Zinfandel.

I found the most delicious wine in Minnesota, on my way to my friends house....in a box....yes, a box.

It was called House Wine, or something like that, a 3 liter box, recommended at the liquor shop in the market where I stopped. They loved it, I loved it, and we consumed most of it in the week I was there.

Haven't found it here, so it may be local, or restricted by the liquor distributors in Illinois.

I am experimenting with small, box wine. So much easier for small quantity, mostly solo drinkers like myself.

The word is that 3 liter or less boxes tend to be of good quality, the 5 liter boxes not so much.


Maggie

[DIR1]

When I was solo, I drank box wine... stays fresher longer... White Zin... must be the more alike part!!! hahaha... hugs, gail

[cwf]

Maggie,
My favorite wine is the one shared with friends.. Even if we are thousands of miles away!!!

Peace and blessings
Channing

[Lily&Me]

So true.

Hope I get to share a glass of wine someday with some of you here, that I have never met but who have been so kind to me.

Also, of course, those I have met and will surely see again.



Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I know it's time for me to get away from home for awhile when I start looking for things that need to be cleaned.

Thresholds at front and back doors......cleaned with Murphy's Oil Soap () and coated several times with Rejuvenate. Much better.

Son is coming over Saturday am with his shop-vac, to help me put the newly-emptied garage in order.

T-shirt rug is nearly finished.

Just pulled a loaf of DO bread out of the oven.

Weather is shaping up to be near-perfect for our family campout next weekend. So looking forward to that, and it will soon be time to start organizing and packing.


Maggie


Evenings on the IPad:

Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain,
but I'd have had to miss the dance.

— Garth Brooks, The Dance

[DIR1]

I love you quotes at the end... I'm writing them down!!!! thanks, very good...hugs, gail

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Gail.

Several have commented they like the quotes. I sure find them helpful, and it's good to know they are meaningful to others, as well.

I have come to realize, during my evening IPad journeys thru others' words and thoughts, that I am mightily resisting letting Doug go.

He is, of course, not coming back, but I am looking nearly every waking minute for signs that he is near, still with me, all that.

I think it is "stuck" a bit, and some level of denial, that I am looking for daily indicators that he is not really gone, that I am not really without him......because he's really still here!

No, he's not, and he has places to go, others to be with, and things to do in his spirit life, now. That's the reality, and looking every moment for "signs" is simply a means to stave off the finality of it.

Assuming he is aware of my thoughts and pleas, it is an unfair burden, and more appropriately mine to bear rather than his.

I am certain he was with me for some time after his death, and every moment of the trip home, has been back to visit me since, and will likely come again.

That needs to be enough, I'm thinking, and so am consciously working on letting go, not "watching" but instead being open.

A journey, a process, a deeper level of acceptance.

Tis Friday, cleaning day for the little house. Always like to have things neat and tidy. Makes me happy, what can I say.


Maggie


Evenings on the IPad:

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have
and take a step into the darkness of the unknown,
we must believe one of two things will happen ~
there will be something solid for us to stand upon,
or we will be taught to fly.
--Anonymous

[xrvr]

A loved one is never gone, as long as you wish them near. Forever he will be with you. Jim

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Jim.

He's in my heart.


Maggie

[Pagey]

Yes, they do hang around. Due to her health, my mother moved in with us after my father died. He "stayed around" until she died, at which time a friend who knew her, my husband, and I all had visions of them dancing away together.

Maggie, I can tell you the story of my father's visits to us while my mom was alive when me meet at Alumalina, if you are interested.

[Lily&Me]

I would love to hear them.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Sunday morning, a day for Sunday papers, clipping coupons and a bakery muffin from the grocery store.

A special breakfast on Sundays is a tradition in my family, and one my kids and grands always look forward to when they are here.....pancakes, waffles, coffeecake, muffins, etc. Something yummy and tasty, prepared by Moi.

Hard to get too excited about baking for one, so a fresh muffin from the nearby grocer who sells the papers suffices these days. Portion controlled, no leftovers about to tempt or need to be frozen, etc.

Did see Mr. Food doing this the other day, and it looked so delicious I bought a package of refrigerated biscuits and am going to try it.

A simple version of Monkey Bread. Leftovers can suffice as Sunday evening dessert for my son/his, and then it will be gone.

Cinnamon Bun Pie | mrfood.com

Son and his boys were here with the ShopVac yesterday, and we restored some order from the chaos of the garage, after moving Doug's things out a month or so ago.

They will be back tonight for dinner.

Tidying and detailing a bit the Interstate, am really ready to go for awhile.

Have a lovely, peaceful Sunday.

Maggie

Evenings on the IPad:

An important way to cope with grief is having an outlet, be it interpersonal, be it artistic, that will allow you to not have to contain your grief, but will give you an opportunity to express it, to externalize it to some degree.

---R. Benyamin Cirlin, Grief counselor

[cwf]

Maggie,
Phyllis uses a brunet cake pan. Mix ingredients then put in an edged cookie sheet. Stretch out the biscuits and roll them in the cookie sheet mixture. Don't press too hard. Wiggle the elongated biscuits around in the Bundt pan to make interesting...drop in some whole pecans as you go.

When out of biscuits, put remaining mixture along with enough butter to coat and microwave in short bursts till starting to combine. Mix and drizzle in Bundt.

Bake as described.

Make sure grandkritters are around to eat them!!!

[Lily&Me]

Sounds like an interesting way to do monkey bread.

Any way you do it, it's always good.



Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Evenings on the IPad:


A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn.




Maggie

[xrvr]

Ah yes, but even if you miss the turn, you can always pull yourself out and try again. I've missed many turns and have been fortunate enough to pull myself out and given myself another try. Never give up. Help yourself and others will then help you. It's just the way it is and should be! Peace, jim

[Lily&Me]

Gathering, shopping, packing and organizing for the weekend of camping with the grands.

Lily and I are going to head out tomorrow, get set up, take a bike ride, enjoy the campground and being out before the others arrive Friday afternoon. I am so ready to go.

Am realizing, particularly as I'm making myself focus on letting go rather than hanging on, that I'm going to need to seriously restructure my life. I have adjusted my daily routine, of course, but the immediate tasks of widowhood are giving way to boredom. Another of those predictable outcomes of time passing and reality setting in, I think.

I can only clean, tidy, read, crochet, watch tv, etc., just so much. Am a bit more inspired to cook since my time with friends in MN, but that is limited for one person......but for Sundays when there is someone here to eat besides me.

By this date, Doug and I would have been home for a grands' birthday late July, then long since on the road to somewhere. What a time we had. If we weren't driving, we would be enjoying and exploring some newfound or much-loved place, and the activities of traveling, caring for him, and my own hobbies would pretty much fill my days. I am so grateful for those 6 1/2 years roaming around together....but they are over.

The joy and freedom of traveling and being out in the Interstate calls to me mightily, tho, and I do intend to go for as long as I can. Might try some workcamping at some point.

Ahhh, well....a path will open if I am open to seeing it, right?

There is poor and intermittent signal where we will be for the weekend, so I will be Forums-less after today until Sunday.

Have a good weekend.


Maggie


Evenings on the IPad:

Grief never ends, but it changes.
It is a passage, not a place to stay.
The sense of loss must give way
if we are to value the life that was lived.
– Author unknown