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Old 04-03-2014, 08:16 PM   #99
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I too echo Fly At Night's thoughts.

You and Doug had intertwined lives and you'll feel his absence acutely for a long time. You don't have to pretend. Most of us are old enough to have lost people close to us. Be upbeat when you feel upbeat, share when you need a lift - we all hold each other up.

Wrecking my airstream feels like a picnic compared to what you are going through, but I know how much the offers of help and calls of concern meant to me. We happy few - Airstreamers - are here for each other.

Best ALWAYS, Paula
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Old 04-04-2014, 06:02 AM   #100
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Since my last post, I have completed Lessons 1-3 of the American Red Cross Adult and Pediatric First Aid/CPR/AED. (Lessons are completed online, you then take and must pass a test before the 2-hour, hands-on session with mannequins and receiving certification)

The CPR I learned years ago, and used on Doug, is not the CPR taught today. A nurse/camper, who arrived after a few minutes and took over for me, used the current method.

In spite of this, and that CPR was performed on a rear bench of the Interstate, Doug was still alive and in Ventricular Tachycardia when EMT's arrived about 15 minutes after he was stricken.

Something is better than nothing, apparently.

I'm glad I am taking this class, and will be better prepared should I come across this situation again.


Maggie
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Old 04-05-2014, 06:53 PM   #101
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Spring has sprung in Central Illinois and I am now the proud owner of a Gorilla Cart. Sturdy, wheeled and with a tilt-to-dump feature. Needed something to haul and manage mulch, debris and wood with. Quite nifty, and my Lego-obsessed grandsons are whiz-bang at putting things together. Good thing, as I am not.

Have been dealing with Executor-of-will stuff the past few days. More involved than I thought. Folks, if you did your wills many years ago, like we did, might pull them out and see if they still say what you think they say and what you want them to say.

Lots of yard work to do, windows to wash, patios and porches to clean, etc. As long as the weather is decent, will have plenty outside to keep me busy for quite awhile.

I see threads that look interesting, just can't get myself into reading, posting and being light-hearted yet.

I received a list of donors to FaithWorks the other day, and there are several names on there that none of us recognize. If any reader here has donated and not received a thank you note from me, it's because I don't know who you are. We do thank you.

Wanted to check in and let those that are interested know all is well. Doin' okay, no puddles or heaps goin' on here.

XO Maggie
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:11 PM   #102
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way to go

Maggie sounds like life is still going forward and you are keeping up. I care for a Mom with Parkinson's and every day is different. I have alot of the same duties here, boy winter sure does leave a mess behind. But the crocus and daffs are starting to bloom and the days are longer and warmer (THANK GOD!) I love spring cleaning and am a spring summer person so I'm coming out of a long winter peaked for viberance. We all keep going as well as we can......see you in the fall, I'm your nieghbor at Wateree! John
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:34 PM   #103
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Yaaaaa

Your last post is the answer to a lot of prayers, I know a lot of people that would refuse to accept that life would be very different, and would be that puddle instead of taking your path.
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Old 04-06-2014, 06:15 AM   #104
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Lest it sound like I have fully come to grips with this, am unemotional and coping 100%, let me say that is not the case, but I think I am doing pretty well.

It is very, very difficult to digest that Doug is gone forever, and I miss him. I keep expecting him to come around the corner, pull into the driveway, come in from the garage with an armful of wood.

It is the chores involved with his death, and those of daily life that call to me and fill the days. That is good, in many respects, but remind me at every step that he is no longer here.

I just can't look at clutter and things to be done without getting to them, but everything was a joint project. We were fairly well joined at the hip, especially these last 6 1/2 years of retirement, and he was just that kind of man and husband.

If I was in the kitchen, he was in there helping with whatever needed to be done. Chopping, stirring, clearing away, doing dishes, getting out plates and forks, etc.

I envision him laughing as I struggled yesterday to flip the mattress and get the clean mattress pad and sheets on the bed without an extra set of arms....he always crawled across the bed and into the narrow area by the wall to handle that side, and would say every time that some day he was not going to be able to do this.

Also see him shaking his head because flowered sheets went on the bed this week......never would have happened while he was here. Flowers, especially roses, remind me of him, and I intend to surround myself with them.

I have several English bone china tea and coffee mugs on their way to me, that I found online, Each have different rose patterns on them, and one each will go to the girls in the family, to drink their tea or coffee from and think of our dear Doug/Dad. I will drink from mine every day, look at those roses and think of my sweet hubby.

I have woken up the past few mornings to find Lily curled on the bed next to me. She waits til I am sound asleep, then makes herself comfortable. I have a lavender oil-infuser in my bedroom, which has greatly helped the quality of my sleep, but is also allowing her to sneak up there without me being aware.

Going to get the Sunday papers this morning, work in the yard some more and cook dinner for my kids and grands later this afternoon. The boys have been little worker bees for Grandma, and don't seem to mind it a bit.

Sympathy cards still arriving, friends and family checking in and all the support here. I am a lucky woman, in many respects, and very consciously know that.

Thank you all,

XO Maggie
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Old 04-06-2014, 09:25 AM   #105
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that was beautiful... thanks for sharing.. hugs to you, gail
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Old 04-06-2014, 09:55 AM   #106
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Thank you, Gail.

It is a mixed bag of feelings for me, posting here about life without my sweet husband.

I'm going to trust that one or more of you will pm me and tell me it's time to shut up, should the time come. Please.

Until then, when I feel like sharing something, I will.


Maggie
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Old 04-06-2014, 04:01 PM   #107
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Instead of doing yard work this morning, I got into our lock boxes and spent half the day going thru the items in there......sorting, organizing, pitching things that were obsolete, organizing into folders....and organizing some more. All is now neat, tidy, organized and current.

Found a couple of things I was looking for, that are needed for estate issues, also what appears to be Doug's original social security card.....signed in his young, adolescent handwriting.

Having worked as a single woman, then married/divorced and married again, I have had three social security cards with three different names. From the looks of this card, it was the only one Doug ever had. Put it with his things, for his kids.

If your personal papers are in the state ours were....just tossed into a fireproof box.....perhaps take a few hours and pull things together. It will be easier for those you leave behind.

Put tags on your valuables and family heirlooms, as well, so that their history is clear and laid out for posterity. Doug was a man who kept his people and kept his things. He had a nail clipper with his initials on it, given to him as a gift by someone he worked with at the movie theatre where he ushered in high school. Many things are obviously quite old but kept for sentimental reasons....some of these I know the story of, but many I don't.

Been filling some hours the last few weeks lost in Downton Abbey Seasons 1-3. We had just bought these and begun watching them when Doug was stricken. So easy to get absorbed in them.

Doug really enjoyed Downton Abbey, in spite of his initial misgivings about what he termed an evening "soap opera", after we began watching it just earlier this year. He said he especially enjoyed and appreciated hearing the English language spoken as it was intended to be.


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Old 04-06-2014, 04:38 PM   #108
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Maggie:

Thank for the reminder to stay on top of important documents. We were looking at fire-proof safes today in prep for future lives as full-timing Airstreamers.

As for heirlooms, most of them are from my family. We have no children and neither of my brothers, both the one still living and the one who died last year, have children. Thus, heirlooms are being auctioned and sold at garage sales.

And the other thing to remember is to have a list of user names and passwords for banking and other online sites, etc, so that the remaining spouse can access and cancel accounts if necessary.

Be well, Maggie, and looking forward to meeting you at Falluminum at Lake Wateree.
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Old 04-07-2014, 08:09 AM   #109
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Flowers for Maggie

Maggie[/QUOTE]

..I think of you when Hx1 makes me laugh
I think of you when Im planning my next trip
and think of you when soaking pleasure from posies ..
Dear Maggie..This time next year we shall have enough money for our cottage extension which will grant us 2 bedrooms instead of one..I could not help but wonder if you would by then be up to a trip to England..to do as you please..to do something or nothing..to visit Hx1 and Jelly in London and trickle around the countryside lanes for easy going pleasures..If by next year you feel up to an adventure and Should money be a bind..do not fret about Dollars and Pounds we can muck in and find both ..

Here is a small sum of my flowers..a fraction of personal presents over the years from Hx1 Hx2 and treats to mineself..Such a sorry shame I'm still not quite well enough after this dratted scarlet fever to find and mess about with even more ..
the pretty show would have been much longer..

My favourite flowers are narcissi and Lilies..to me they are the most wonderful for their prettyness and scent..a miracle to behold no less..In fact I recently captured these birthday flowers in March to keep forever ...I hope you enjoy the view and give some thought 12 months from now on a trip over the seas..
we would take jolly good care of you ..

Love Lili Lettice Leatherby [TC] Hx1 Hx2 & Jelly
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Old 04-07-2014, 08:56 AM   #110
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Awww, Lily, you are the sweetest thing.

Might just come to England for a visit at some point in time, and would accept your hospitable offer of a room for awhile.

Have been to England before, a couple of times. My daughter did a semester in London her senior year of college.

Am pm'ing you contact information for my son, who will be in London twice this month on business.

XO Maggie
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Old 04-07-2014, 01:14 PM   #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doug&maggie View Post
Awww, Lily, you are the sweetest thing.
Might just come to England for a visit at some point in time, and would accept your hospitable offer of a room for awhile.
Have been to England before, a couple of times. My daughter did a semester in London her senior year of college.
Am pm'ing you contact information for my son, who will be in London twice this month on business.

XO Maggie
Gotcha..ill contact him..
hopefully the slidee will work now…
it was set to private which I've altered..
Thanks for the kindest of words but I just think..
there goes someone and that someone could be me ..thats all
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Old 04-07-2014, 02:19 PM   #112
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Yep, it could be any of us, losing a spouse very suddenly, without warning, far from home. A reasonably young and healthy spouse, as well.

I worked with a woman many years ago who lost her 32 year old husband to the same kind of cardiac event that took Doug. Worked with another young nurse whose husband died suddenly and left her with 5 small children to raise by herself. Could it be worse? Yes, it could.

My social worker daughter wants me to get long-term life insurance, saying "Mom, most people don't die like Doug did". Meaning that they are infirm, fragile, perhaps in nursing homes or Alzheimer units for years. She knows, and has seen the government take every last thing a person owns before they will pay these expenses. So much to think about.

Filed his will at the courthouse today, and am working on "estate" issues, which are going to be more involved and complicated than first thought. Don't have the medical bills yet, but they will be coming.

It's going to be a soak-in-the-tubbie-with-a-glass-of-wine night.

Doing okay, still standing and plodding on but feeling a bit battered today. I have plenty of wine.

Don't ask.....I'll be fine.


Maggie
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