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Old 10-23-2014, 01:22 PM   #869
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It is easy....just like Natchitoches, LA.


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Old 10-23-2014, 03:50 PM   #870
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Evenings on the IPad:

In mindful grief, we become the landing strip that allows any feelings to arrive. Some crash, some land softly. Some harm us, but none harm us in a lasting way. We remain as they taxi away or as their wreckage is cleared away. We can trust that we will survive.
~ David Richo, How to be an Adult in Relationships
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Old 10-23-2014, 08:14 PM   #871
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nice one Maggie....
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Old 10-23-2014, 08:16 PM   #872
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Other people's words have been online grief counseling for me.


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Old 10-23-2014, 09:19 PM   #873
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Maggie, I have it on good authority dark chocolate in moderation is good for you.
Of course, many things in moderation are good for you--even moderation.
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Old 10-24-2014, 02:41 PM   #874
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'Tis Friday at the little house, now scrubbed and vacuumed, everything shiny and bright. I really like clean and tidy.

As it is a beautiful fall day, all of the bedding has also been washed and is on the clothesline, so that tonight everything will smell of the great outdoors. Lovely, and good for sleep.

As I was in a more-than-usual cleaning mood today.....the beautiful fall weather inspired me....I took the bed completely apart so that I could vacuum underneath, something I haven't done since Doug died. Too long, I know. But, it was always his thing to do.

Lily likes to crawl under there to nap, and she is one serious shedder. So, it was bad, but I just hadn't felt like dealing with it. One of those "firsts" I have put off....and now it's mine. I own it, as this "first" is over.

I purchased winterization fluid this morning, so will finish cleaning the Interstate and deal with that tomorrow. Another "first", and I can't put this one off.

Got a bit of winterization guidance via email from a friend, also via telephone the other day from A&L RV in Christiana, TN, who winterized for me on my way home from Georgia in March. It wasn't that I couldn't do it, just that I didn't know how and couldn't handle another learning curve just then.

Such good, kind and decent human beings there....two of the 3-generation family that owns and runs it who came to the waiting area to pray with me....for my crying self, my safe journey home and for the soul of my just-dead husband.

I have thought of them often since that time, grateful for their presence, compassion, connection, and prayers....and they apparently me, as they recognized my name in the service department and first asked how I was doing.....also that they think of and pray for me often. I was a bit of a wreck that morning, my second day on the road and about 36 hours after Doug had died. Functioning, as you do because you have to, but.....you know.

Someone here found them for me, right on my way home. Thank you, again. It was meant to be that I landed there.

So, a bit sad today, immersed in the past, but it will pass.

Was reading something the other day about the importance of establishing new rituals and routines as you work your way thru the loss of a love.

I knew that. Transition wine, homemade candles, and more.

New comfort in a new life.


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Old 10-24-2014, 04:08 PM   #875
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Know that I am there in spirit with you, Maggie. Your strength and love shines through your darkest days. Live for the light.


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Old 10-24-2014, 04:12 PM   #876
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Thank you, Page.

It's a dim day, not a dark one. I'd like to think those are all behind me.

Live for the light. I like that.


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Old 10-25-2014, 06:45 PM   #877
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I have finished cleaning and emptying out the Interstate today, and begun the winterization process. Touching things I have never touched before and doing things I have never done.

I've laid on the floor inside the motor home, and on the ground outside of it....more than once. I sigh deeply, repeatedly, and feel like a mechanic.

Will finish in the am, when my brain has rested and my eyes have stopped crossing from tasks that feel like math to me. Some things just don't register and digest, instead sit on the surface of my brain like oil on water.

I feel like I am coming to the end of doing for the first time the things Doug always did, but know cognitively that I am not.....the Holidays are coming, and there is much there.

There is a slightly sick feeling of finality, thinking of coming to the end of doing his tasks. Once they're gone, they're gone.

It's life, and I'm living it. It goes on, and so do I.

I have a great deal to be thankful and grateful for, and I remind myself of that.


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Old 10-26-2014, 03:57 PM   #878
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This dude is dancing for you.....





Yei (a Navajo Yei Spirit that mediates between the forces of nature and man and between man and god).
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Old 10-26-2014, 04:00 PM   #879
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I love it!

Where'd you find this dude? Such detail!

He looks pretty animated.


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Old 10-26-2014, 04:12 PM   #880
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He is here in Bluff, Utah. One of the reasons I come here. Visiting him is like going to church. (please take no offense).

The more I read and learn about this part of the world the more amazed I am. There were humans living here 25,000 years ago.

There is rock art that dates back over 3,000 years and I have photographed some that is at least 11,000 years old!

In Chaco they built over 400 miles of roads and they were thirty feet wide...

The southwest is one of the most amazing places in this country, but the ancients lived all over this continent....long before we realize....
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Old 10-26-2014, 07:45 PM   #881
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Thanks for sharing him. People have to really work at offending me, but it can be done.

It is a fascinating, fascinating culture, and what they were able to build and construct so long ago absolutely boggles the mind.

You feel such a powerfully spiritual connection to that area, Vincent......you may have been an ancient in a past life.

I have been to a few places in my life that felt uncannily familiar, where I felt like I had come home.....but I was not at my home nor anyplace known in this life. Still, the connection was unmistakeable, undeniable and otherwise inexplicable. Those visceral responses come from somewhere. I rather like the idea that we find in this life remnants of others.

The Interstate is cleaned, winterized and safely to bed in storage for the next couple of months. Night-night.

Dinner with the son/his, at their house this Sunday evening. I am thoroughly enjoying not prepping and cooking for 6 every Sunday.....once a month is perfect at this point in my life. The grands tried to outdo each other, showing off for Grandma and bringing me their current, most favorite things. Sweet babies.

I bought a pumpkin with my newspapers today, which I will clean and carve on Halloween, putting a candle in it on the front porch.....like we do every year.

Going to clean ceiling fans tomorrow and perhaps start on the yard work.

Note to self.....dead squirrels in the garbage get very ripe after a few days, even inside a plastic bag.


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Old 10-26-2014, 08:21 PM   #882
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Emma Grace (currently missing 4 teeth) in her Elsa costume
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