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Old 10-06-2014, 02:59 PM   #785
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fly at Night View Post
Good to hear from you, Maggie.

There is something about baking bread that is very therapeutic.

And...oh, the aroma!
Yes. And, in moderation, guilt free carbs.

Maggie
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Old 10-06-2014, 10:35 PM   #786
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nothin' special, just hugs...
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Old 10-07-2014, 01:28 PM   #787
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Traveling these last couple of months, often without electricity and/or reliable internet, has broken me of the habit of long evenings spent searching online thru the well-articulated words of others for solace, comfort, connection, etc.

I do have, however, pages of copied-and-pasted tidbits saved in the Pages app on my IPad that I read thru at least several times each week. And, which I feel a need to share some of here.

Such good words. I've said it before, and I'll say it again...we are all more alike than we are different.


Maggie


Evenings on the IPad:

The meaning of life is connected, inextricably, to the meaning of death; ...mourning is a romance in reverse, and if you love, you grieve and there are no exceptions....
~ Thomas Lynch, The Undertaking
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Old 10-07-2014, 02:23 PM   #788
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Lily and Maggie

I very much like this last writing you posted. The "mourning is a romance in reverse" struck a chord.

Thank you for continuing to post. I could even imagine compiling the sayings to a E Book in your future. We can all use all the help out there when it's our turn to go through this.
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Old 10-07-2014, 04:39 PM   #789
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Thank you.

I thought it was a particularly good one, too.

And, there are a few more.


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Old 10-08-2014, 01:46 PM   #790
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Wood for a week or so is stacked in the garage (rain and cold coming), chimney has been cleaned and checked, and Interstate scrubbed clean this morning. Furnace servicing is scheduled. Tires will be rotated in the am and full servicing at Peterbilt will be completed week after next.

I took the Interstate to the car wash, it was that filthy, but still needed to handscrub the remainder of the mass of insect debris off the front when I got home. As I am scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing, the Amazing Grace windchimes hanging on the front porch begin to tinkle. Doug is saying "good job, little wifey".

A few things off my to-do list, and I am on top of things.

Grands who live close are gone to a wedding for the weekend, but off school on Monday, so are spending Sunday night with Grandma. I will bake cookies, make them buttermilk pancakes for breakfast, and let them try out the new toasting forks in the woodstove.

Monday morning they will help Grandma fill a wall in the garage with wood. Sweet babies. The word is we are in for another harsh winter. I want to be ready.

Heading for Iowa Wednesday of next week, to visit the cemetery, Doug's Mom (97 in December) and kids/grand in Iowa City. Then....I will winterize for the first time and put the baby to bed til whenever I am able to get out of here after the holidays.

Could be hunkered down for awhile, but right now we are having a beautiful Fall. Trees are turning, air is cool. Leaves falling and lots of raking/hauling to the curb will come later, but the grands will help with that, too.

Right now it is just loveky weather.


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Old 10-09-2014, 10:44 AM   #791
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I am so very proud of you. You carry Doug with you in thought every where you go, just as I carry Roy. I am sure he is close and very proud of you. I am happy to know that you heard from our friend. I miss them so much and wish them health and happiness. I know Doug and your family are so very proud of you. Enjoy those grandkids, they grow up too fast. I now have great greats and looking forward to camping with them and their parents. Kay
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:46 AM   #792
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7 months ago today.....a day that started like any other. We were in a favorite campground in southeast Georgia, the weather was warm and beautiful, and all was right with the world.

Been a bit teary off and on the past few days. Sweeping the garage to ready for wood, I came across some newspaper Doug had squirreled away as firestarter. Something else he was the last to touch. Putting off season cothing away in the back bedroom yesterday, his obituary photo is looking at me from the wall and his shirts I can't bring myself to part with must be touched and moved.

And, someone over the weekend, who didn't know, asked about my "we-speak", thinking I had a spouse or partner who hadn't yet showed themselves at the rally. That happens sometimes.

When I do "I-speak", it requires a very conscious effort on my part. My preference seems to be to cling to the "we", as it is what rolls most naturally off my tongue......and, I am telling myself that Lily and I are a "we"....but really it is mostly that I just don't want to let go of it.

And, it's okay. I will let go of it when I am ready.

Doug's daughter and I were emailing yesterday about anniversary feelings and emotions. She still has the voice message her Dad left her on March 8th, and listened to it again a couple of days ago. I don't have a recording, but can hear his voice in my head as plainly as if we talked moments ago.

She wears a J. Peterman sweatshirt of his to walk her dog in the mornings, I touch favorite shirts of his. Hoping the son-in-law will claim a few more, the next time they are home, as I just cannot give them to strangers.

She only lived with him the first 4 years of her life, yet misses his remote presence as much as I miss his joined-at-the-hip presence. He was here, in our lives, and now is not.

My daughter, who lost their first baby a couple of weeks back, had a D&C this am, as the medication given her "after" wasn't enough. She has therefore been losing this baby for 2 week+, and is ready for it to be over with.

I'd like to think the soul of that baby decided to spend some time with Grandpa Doug, rather than being born right now. It's a nice thought.

A bit more sad today than on some days, but know I am doing pretty darn well and have been so very fortunate for the context of this dreadful experience.

A cold and rainy day. Will build the first fire in the woodstove and perhaps have a hot whiskey this evening.

Maybe Doug will join me on the couch, in front of the fire, for just a moment.


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Old 10-09-2014, 10:52 AM   #793
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Thank you, Kay. That's very sweet.

Doing the best I can with what I've got to work with, I tell Doug, and asking for his guidance and input any time he feels a need.


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Old 10-09-2014, 01:22 PM   #794
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Maggie,

You have been an inspiration to many on here, I suspect, with your get to it attitude while still looking for Doug (and apparently finding him) in various ways. It is a big change to go on the road and take care of everything yourself and you have handled it incredibly well.

Here's a tip for next spring - sorry it wasn't more timely. To remove bug debris, use a wet Downy dryer sheet. Keep it wet and wipe over the area until clean. You have to wipe some, but it doesn't take much pressure and if fresh, they come right off. I read about this on some car forum, but had forgotten it. When we were at our buddy rally in Cedar Key in May, one of the Airstream Class A owners was using one to clean the front end of his coach and I was reminded of the trick. It leaves a residue, so you have to follow with a regular wash before it dries but it does a much better job of cleaning off the bugs. The fabric softener acts as a lubricant and helps to dissolve the debris.

Hope to see you at another rally next year.

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Old 10-09-2014, 01:33 PM   #795
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Thanks, Al. I enjoyed meeting you and your lovely wife at Alumalina. The support of many here like the two of you has been very comforting to me.

A Bounce sheet......hmmm. Would always have one of those in the Interstate. I'll try to remember that.

These bugs were pretty crusted and dried.....the Interstate had not been washed since before Alumalina, so had bugs from many states on it. I have an Armor-All, microfiber mitt thing that works pretty well, but still requires elbow grease and I of course had not taken it to the car wash.

Loss and grief are shared human conditions we all experience. The price we pay for love, 'tis true. You just have to go on.


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Old 10-09-2014, 10:28 PM   #796
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Use Bounce r Dollar store type dampen then a drop of Dawn !!!
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Old 10-10-2014, 01:05 PM   #797
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It's done. It reflects reality.

Looks and feels a little odd, tho.



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Old 10-10-2014, 05:31 PM   #798
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Hey... your name changed!!! For a minute I thought you were talking about the bug removal.... =)
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