A Very Different Kind of Life

[Lily&Me]

As the social worker/assessor in me never really shuts off, had a long and exploratory chat with Louise yesterday am, who readily admits to being very, very depressed over the death of her son. Doesn't understand why he was taken, wants an answer to that and then she will stop ruminating and get out of bed. I feel badly for her, but also tell her that her only son would not want her to do this to herself. Does admit it may be time to change her living situation, to be with others, have someone to get her meals, get her up and moving, and insure she deals with basic needs. Almost 97 years old, it's time. Doug's sister is on it.

After a longer than anticipated stay at the home place, did get the gravel dust washed off and made it to Iowa City in time to pick up the youngest grand from school, so that we had a couple of hours together before the parents got home from work. Such a sweetie, and loves spending any time in the Interstate. You have everything in here, she exclaims! Yes, I do.

Will head home late this morning, dumping for the last time this season....with my new sewer hose, purchased this trip to replace the one that fell out from its little holder in the rear, somewhere along the way. The outside gripping bits are a bit too wide for the carrier.....as was the last one, but Doug shaved some off or something... will have to figure that out at a later time....so it will have to be temporarily housed inside in a plastic bag.

The final trip of the season, my first season on my own. It had some growing pains, but has gone pretty well.


Maggie

[Seven Brook]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

As the social worker/assessor in me never really shuts off, had a long and exploratory chat with Louise yesterday am, who readily admits to being very, very depressed over the death of her son. Doesn't understand why he was taken, wants an answer to that and then she will stop ruminating and get out of bed. I feel badly for her, but also tell her that her only son would not want her to do this to herself. Does admit it may be time to change her living situation, to be with others, have someone to get her meals, get her up and moving, and insure she deals with basic needs. Almost 97 years old, it's time. Doug's sister is on it.

After a longer than anticipated stay at the home place, did get the gravel dust washed off and made it to Iowa City in time to pick up the youngest grand from school, so that we had a couple of hours together before the parents got home from work. Such a sweetie, and loves spending any time in the Interstate. You have everything in here, she exclaims! Yes, I do.

Will head home late this morning, dumping for the last time this season....with my new sewer hose, purchased this trip to replace the one that fell out from its little holder in the rear, somewhere along the way. The outside gripping bits are a bit too wide for the carrier.....as was the last one, but Doug shaved some off or something... will have to figure that out at a later time....so it will have to be temporarily housed inside in a plastic bag.

The final trip of the season, my first season on my own. It had some growing pains, but has gone pretty well.


Maggie

Good Mornin Maggie! I just came across your post! I'm still learning how to navigate around on the forums. It was nice meeting you and Lily at the Fall Alumalina. So glad you and Lily made it home safely! I am enjoying the pot holders and dish clothes that you crocheted! My husband and I have joined the WBCCI and The Palmetto State Unit 22. We are excited about it all! We went to the unit rally at the Palmetto Cove last weekend with my brother, John, and Susan. We had a great time! Met some new folks and saw some Alumalina folks as well.

I hope you have a wonderful Fall and an enjoyable holiday season with your family! Stay warm and take care! Beth Leake Pratt

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Beth.

Ahhhh, Alumalina.

See you in March.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Home late afternoon yesterday, after a lovely visit with the grand/her parents in Iowa City. This Doug's youngest child, his only girl, the high-achiever extraordinaire.

We have settled into a different, but very comfortable, loving, open, new-normal relationship, sans Doug..... and it is good.

They have a Golden-Doodle puppy, about 6 months old and the dearest thing, who Lily has been carving out a relationship with. This is the third time they have been together, and have begun playing and romping around, doing dog stuff. Good to see and fun to watch.

I cannot be in that part of Iowa without stopping at the Amish bulk food store. If you have never been in one of these, they are a bargain lovers delight (me, yes).....flours, grains, nuts, spices, dried everything, sold by the ounce or pound at a fraction of what you would pay at a traditional grocer. Also excellent butter, cheese, summer sausage, etc.

I found pumpernickel flour there for $.55 a pound....basically coarse ground rye, which will make delcious and nutritious DO rye bread.

Dinner with the ones that live close tonight, then the Interstate in for a full service at Peterbilt in the morning. Clean, winterize, and put her to bed for a few months.

Chilly and cave-like in here. Time for a fire.


Maggie

[GCinSC2]

Maggie,

Rye bread from a DO. Maybe a taste or we'll try to make that one ourselves next spring.

Gary

[Lily&Me]

It's the same bread recipe I have shared, just the rye bread version.

To die for delicious, IMO, after the caraway seeds have sat in there for a day with the dough.

If you like caraway seeds.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Chivalry is not dead.

Having found yesterday that the usual, rest-stop dump station on I 74 was closed, I drove this am to the county campground north of here to use theirs.

The man in front of me and the one who pulled in behind me were obviously together with their families, as each time they pulled forward (there was a line) they got out to talk with each other til the next......so I offered to let the one behind me go in front of me so they could proceed on together.

He declined, the one in front of me dumped, then helped me get pulled in close and insisted on dumping my tanks for me. Wasn't that sweet?

'Tis chilly and very fall-ish here. I love it.


Maggie

[Air Cruiser]

What a gentleman!! Another sign that there are still decent, kind people out there in the world.

Deb

[Lily&Me]

Evenings on the IPad:

It is the miracle of memory
that transforms a houseful of stuff
into a heritage of love and connection.

— Emily Barnes, in
Timeless Treasures: The Charm and Romance of Treasured Memories

[Pagey]

Rye bread with caraway. Love! Nothing beats caraway rye toast with homemade strawberry preserves for a quick bit of comfort food.

[Lily&Me]

I'm going to put a loaf together with the new flour today, to bake tomorrow.

I found a traditional pumpernickel bread recipe I might have to try at some point, too. It has pumpernickel and whole wheat flour, molasses, a bit of cocoa powder, mashed potatoes, carawy seed, etc. Might be a good cold winter day project.

I am almost out of checks, so ordered yesterday my first batch with just my name on them. Am leaving Doug's name on our joint account til a year or more has passed, as there are some things out there, yet.

Someone here cautioned me to not remove him for at least a year, and I am seeing why that was a good idea. Thank you.

I ordered checks with a pretty floral border and script lettering......girly, yes, but it's just me, now. No gIrly stuff would have done for my Doug.

The Interstate is out at Peterbilt for a complete servicing and the furnace guy is coming this morning....my to-do list is shrinking. The grands have promised to come help with the leaves in a few weeks, although the volume will be greatly diminished now that the huge ash trees have been reduced to firewood.

We will then roast hot dogs and marshmallows in the chiminea outside. It's what we do after they have played in and hauled leaves, and they love it. Sweet babies.

Something is killing small animals in my back yard. This one may be Lily's doing. A squirrel, dead, between the fence and the shed. Not eaten, just fresh, and dead. A cat would have eaten it, wouldn't it?, so I'm thinking Lily had her first successful squirrel chase. If a cat was coming back to consume it later, too bad, as I hsve removed it. I've had enough of small animal remains brought to, or thru, the back door.

We are having one of the prettiest falls here that I can remember. Beautiful, moderate temps, and gorgeous trees.


Maggie

[mimiandrews]

A squirrel, dead, between the fence and the shed. Not eaten, just fresh, and dead. A cat would have eaten it, wouldn't it?,


A well-fed cat will sometimes hunt for the sheer pleasure of it. They don't always eat their kill. They're just born to be predators.

[BAB]

Gosh, Maggie, you are so OUT THERE. It's wonderful to see that you are healthily engaged in everything from Vitamin B to DO rye bread. (I would have liked some of that toasted this morning with a heavy layer of Danish butter on it..) And, it is great to hear that the tender memories of the old life perpetuate the new. 22 years after losing my wife, I still have them. Oh, yes, and as Bogie said to Ingrid, "we'll always have Paris." That was my wife's favorite city and I've been back many times in the past decades, often visiting the places we discovered together. You are blending the old with the new now, and that is the way you move on. Oh, and Lily is a great bridge, right??? Anxiously awaiting the new SilverLeaf II, and you better make rye bread at the next Alumalina!! Hugs, Barry

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by mimiandrews

A well-fed cat will sometimes hunt for the sheer pleasure of it. They don't always eat their kill. They're just born to be predators.

Okay, thanks.

Lily ignored it, so apparently has no interest in the little corpse, which is fine with me.


Maggie

[mimiandrews]

You're lucky.

Our Blackie could be Lily's sister, judging from your pictures. When she finds a dead thing, she gulps it down before I can take it away from her. Grosses me out, but she's quicker than I am.

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Barry, and a hug to you, too.

Getting out in the Interstate for most of 6 weeks or so was really, really, good for me. Strengthening, healing and restorative.

It probably comes down to getting back to doing the things we loved to do "before".....carving a new path thru familiar terrain, so to speak.

I miss Doug every day, but life is starting to feel comfortable, solid underfoot, and pretty good. There are moments, twinges, a few tears here and there, but it is different than in the beginning. I feel his spirit and mine remain entwined, and it is comforting.

I still talk to him, ask him questions and sometimes for help and guidance. When solutions and direction filter to the surface, I assume his input, and I like that.

Life will never be the same, but it goes on.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by mimiandrews

You're lucky.

Our Blackie could be Lily's sister, judging from your pictures. When she finds a dead thing, she gulps it down before I can take it away from her. Grosses me out, but she's quicker than I am.

If you had seen the rabbit bits she brought in.....

Didn't seem compelled to consume it, which is fine with me. She has a cast-iron stomach, but still.......

Doug's daughter and her family had a King Charles Spaniel that routinely ate the baby bunnies out of the nests in their yard. Yuk.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I have been reading about mindfulness and living a mindful life, as part of the grieving process, settling into and moving on with one's life, etc.

I came across a blog by therapist Erin Kelley, Living a Mindful Life, which I have really enjoyed and wanted to share a bit of here.

Good practices for consciously guiding one's internal compass, I thought.

Erin Kelley's four basic rules for mindfulness and authenticity.

1. Show Up....bring all of your sincerity, authenticity, and energy, to the present
2. Pay Attention....to one task and one person at a time
3. Speak Your Truth....be genuine
4. Let go of the outcome....do your part, and let it go


I like it, and am going to work on it.


Maggie

[Pagey]

Living in the present moment can be challenging. Especially with all of the electronic distractions. I have been practicing meditation and mindfulness for several years....SQUIRREL! ;-)

[Seven Brook]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

I have been reading about mindfulness and living a mindful life, as part of the grieving process, settling into and moving on with one's life, etc.

I came across a blog by therapist Erin Kelley, Living a Mindful Life, which I have really enjoyed and wanted to share a bit of here.

Good practices for consciously guiding one's internal compass, I thought.

Erin Kelley's four basic rules for mindfulness and authenticity.

1. Show Up....bring all of your sincerity, authenticity, and energy, to the present
2. Pay Attention....to one task and one person at a time
3. Speak Your Truth....be genuine
4. Let go of the outcome....do your part, and let it go


I like it, and am going to work on it.


Maggie

All the best to you, Maggie! Take care!