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Old 06-08-2014, 08:55 PM   #351
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Your food story reminds me of a friend whose husband died a couple of years ago. He was the big meat eater and liked other high calorie items. He stayed thin, she didn't. After he was gone, she lost a lot of weight because she started eating better.

As time goes on, you will feel less need to post and that'll come in fits and starts, and already is. Quite normal.

I just learned today Lili has left, see the US Airstream will be sold, and I lost touch with her thread about a month ago. Been too busy and tired. I did notice she changed the name of the thread, but I kept falling behind and didn't want to read 100 posts at a sitting, so I just kept putting it off. One less vegetarian on the Forum, maybe you're taking her place.

I'm sure you'll be smothered (in a good way) with love at the rally. Some happy/sad memories too. Another catharsis. Has to happen to move along.

We get to go away for several nights end of the week—finally! I'll be thinking of you.

Gene
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Old 06-10-2014, 09:21 AM   #352
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Thank you, Gene. I'm really looking forward to the rally. Hope you also have a good and restful weekend.

I am spending a fair amount of time, in quiet evenings, reading about souls, spirits, spirit signs, etc.

I can't help it. I need to understand, and to feel connected to him where he is now.

I came across this last night, and love it. Have sent it to all of the kids, and am going to print it out to put where I can see and read it every day.

“Always remember deep in your heart that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should. There are no mistakes anywhere, at any time. What appears to be wrong is simply your own false imagination. That's all." Robert Moore

It reminds me that we don't get to choose when or how we and our loved ones leave, and that we are in charge only thru the personal choices we make.

I tell myself to take a deep breath, be a responsible, careful, and mindful person in my life, then trust that it all works out for the best.


Maggie
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Old 06-10-2014, 09:39 AM   #353
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I am loving the Amazing Grace Windchime. Everyone who has lost a loved one should have one, in my opinion.

As it chimes gently, I tell myself "that is my Doug".....as it would seem a very easy thing for a spirit to do, to send a gentle breeze to let me know he is there.

Three months ago today, we were in the ICU, and he was on life support. I don't know that the 9th-12th of the months will ever not bring back those memories.

Doing okay, just a little immersed today.


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Old 06-10-2014, 03:59 PM   #354
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Quote:
Originally Posted by doug&maggie View Post

I can't help it. I need to understand

Maggie
Some things can't be understood, but they can be accepted.

I want to know and understand everything. I can't and accepting that has always been difficult, but I don't really have a choice.

All sorts of belief systems (religion, humanism, ethical constructs, etc.) purport to tell us what to understand, but, for me, I have to figure it our myself and when I can't, just accept that. Frustrating, but life is full of incomplete understanding.

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Old 06-10-2014, 04:27 PM   #355
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gene View Post

Frustrating, but life is full of incomplete understanding.

Gene
I know, but I have to try.


Maggie
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Old 06-10-2014, 09:13 PM   #356
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hi Maggie... glad you're doing well there... I'm hoping your upcoming rally will be a good one for you...Hugs from here, gail
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Old 06-12-2014, 06:20 AM   #357
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When a youngish and vibrant Grandpa dies suddenly, 900+ miles frim home, the adult children start thinking "what if the kids had been with them?".

Now that this house has a single Grandparent, albeit a healthy and active 65, that question looms larger, "what if something happens like this to Grandma Maggie when she is with them on a trip, hours from home? "

The possibility this could happen exists, but it is unlikely, in my circumstance, in my opinion.

The 4 we can travel with are 11, 9, 7 and 6 1/2. Old enough to understand emergencies occur, to dial 911 if needed and to handle a wait at a police station while parents came to get them.

Fears not assuaged, the week long trip in the Interstate with these kids to Madeline Island this summer is cancelled.

Too far, too soon after Doug's death, too fresh in the minds of loving and protective parents.

I understand, really, but am sad we will not have that experience together. The ferry, camping on an island, the beautiful beach up there, canoeing the Wisconsin river on the way home.

Another unintended consequence.

On to Moraine View later today.


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Old 06-12-2014, 07:25 AM   #358
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Sorry you won't be able to have the adventure with your grandchildren. That would have created such great memories for them.

I hope you have a great time at Moraine View!
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Old 06-12-2014, 07:34 AM   #359
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Thank you.

We have been fortunate to have made a lot of wonderful memories with them. This would have been another, I am sure.

I understand the parents' fear, to a great extent, but it also seems a bit irrational to me, and not the way to live a life.

They will have to come to that realization on their own.

Aahh, well. I will deal with it.


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Old 06-12-2014, 07:42 AM   #360
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Unfortunately the adult children don't realize that there is probably as much of a statistical chance (slim to none) of an event occurring to them in their 30's & 40's as with Grandma in her 60's.
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Old 06-12-2014, 07:51 AM   #361
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I did tell them that, basically, the same thing could happen to any of them, with the children present...i.e. a sudden cardiac death, a stroke, heart attack, car accident, etc.

This type of thing can and does happen, all the time. When it's your time to go, it's your time to go, and we don't get to choose.

As a single parent for 16 years, one of my biggest fears was that something would happen to me and they would be alone.

I taught my children as soon as they were able how to dial "O" to get help, where names and phone numbers of relatives and friends were, etc. They never had to use this information, but were armed with it.

Had already started this discussion with the older boys, in anticipation of this trip, and feel we would have been just fine.

Part of the problem is, they had gotten their heads together and made a decision before expressing anything to me.....they felt that strongly about it. It came to me kindly, but firmly, and that was that.

We'll see what shakes out over time.


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Old 06-12-2014, 08:21 AM   #362
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Story from earlier this year.

We had a caravan of 4 campers heading north on the interstate for a weeks camping. Close to our destination, one of our friends (single 60's mother) rolled her camper (a story for another day but no injuries). By coincidence the event occurred at the interstate exit to her 19 year old daughter's college apartment.

The daughter came to the scene and took charge with getting mom a rental car, dealing with the insurance company, and coordinating salvage of what remained of the vehicle and camper, etc. Turned out it was a great opportunity for the daughter to grow up over a weekend.
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Old 06-12-2014, 08:55 AM   #363
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Yes, things happen.

I worked with a foster dad years ago who was also a soccer coach. He was in Wisconsin on the way to a soccer meet, with three small children in the car, when their van rolled and he was killed.

Others in their caravan took care of the children until foster mother could get there. Or, the children would have been kept by the police til then, if he had been traveling alone.

I understand these things, they do not.

Thank you,


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Old 06-12-2014, 09:32 AM   #364
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sorry about all that Maggie... like you said, things happen, here, there, every where... that's life... I hope they come around for you... If I lived closer, I'd ask to come along!!!! hugs, gail...
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