Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 05-29-2014, 07:05 PM   #337
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
Thank you, Kathy.


Maggie
__________________

__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 05-30-2014, 05:36 PM   #338
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
One of the biggest adjustments to losing one's spouse is doing everything the two of you did, by yourself. The mundane, everyday and periodic tasks that maintain house, home and a stable life.

All those chores you shared, or in my case....some of the man things that he always took care of, must now be done by the one left behind. That would be me.

You read and hear about the spouse who never paid the bills, balanced the checkbook, etc. No worry there, I did all of that, and made a point of showing him the online billpay system, should something happen to me. Mow the lawn, do anything mechanical, involving a chainsaw or requiring getting on a ladder? Nope, not for me.

I could mow the lawn, but am incredibly heat intolerant, so that is hired out. Ladders make me dizzy. Mechanical anything makes my eyes cross just thinking about it. A chainsaw in my hands would be a dangerous thing. I've already learned how to dump the Interstate tanks. I don't want any more learning curves.

This time of year, Doug always got on the roof of the house and I worked from below, while we cleaned and scrubbed the patio awning and its hardware. Clean is important, the dirt has to go, Doug or no Doug.

No roofs for me, so I rented a power washer! It will take care of the awning, from a standing position on the ground, and I can use the highest power nozzle to also clean the patio!

I can't lift the thing out of the back of the car, and the starting explanations for the choke, the on-off switch, holding the hose on while maneuvering those almost made me weep.

Drove home, called the son, who will be over shortly to get it out of the car, turn it on and get me started.

Striving to be positive and grateful, I am grateful for my son, who lives just a mile away and is the best a Mom could ask for.


Maggie
__________________

__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 05-31-2014, 07:15 PM   #339
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
2+ hours last pm and another 45 minutes or so this morning, and my awning, back stoop and concrete patio are sparkling clean.

Rather physical, manning and maneuvering that power washer, but I am stronger these days. Went to bed quite pooped but was fine when I woke up this morning. The lack of dirt and crud, especially on the cement surfaces, was worth the effort. Should have rented one of those things a long time ago.

Have the grands that live close for an overnight tonight. Have to take advantage of that while they are young enough to love staying over....before girls, boys, dates, the mall, and other weekend activities with friends take precedence.

They played in the sprinkler and tore around the back yard. Then we got the grill out for the first time since Grandpa died, cooked hotdogs, roasted marshmallows, did all that summer supper stuff important to chillun.

They are scrubbed and in their pj's, watching "The Cat in the Hat".....on a VCR tape in the little tv/vcr combo we had in our first motorhome.....the 24', 1977 Barth. They love hauling that little tv out of the back closet and digging thru the box of tapes to find a favorite. We were still working when we had that old bus, but managed to put 20,000 miles on it, much of it with grandkids, and had a blast.

I've made another of those perceptible shifts toward forward, with the long weekend in the Interstate, at the cemetery and with the Iowa family. I can feel it, and it's a good thing.

I miss Doug every day, and tell him so, but am hitting my stride.

I'm sure there will still be difficult moments and days, but right now it's been a good week.


Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-02-2014, 06:31 AM   #340
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
And so, approaching 3 months, now, I'm going to be making a deliberate effort to slow the frequency of my posts on this thread.

I feel I am thru the worst of it, and tremendously appreciate the support and kindness I have received from our AirForums friends....here on this thread and privately.

It's just time, I feel. Don't need to maintain a daily, public journal of my life.

Seems more self-centered than is necessary and healthy at this point in time. Really.

I will drop in here periodically, when there seems to be something noteworthy to share, as many have encouraged me to continue this thread. Just not every thing, every day.

I am posting some on other threads, so y'all will know I am alive and well. Any who want to can email me, and I will always respond.

Be well and don't hesitate to reach out if I can be of any help.

Thanks to you all,

XO Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-02-2014, 11:04 AM   #341
4 Rivet Member
 
DIR1's Avatar
 
1973 27' Overlander
1995 19' "B" Van Airstream 190
Bay City , Oregon
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 449
Hi Maggie... Thanks for all you've shared here.. I know it's been of benefit to many, myself included....
Lili closed her thread and you cutting back... I'll have to fine a new morning hobby!!! ahahah....
Keep going girl, you are doing great!!! Hugs to you, gail
__________________
The B van at JRRV 2014 rally
DIR1 is offline  
Old 06-02-2014, 11:11 AM   #342
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
Thank you.

I think any shared life experience is of benefit to someone. I have benefited from others, they from mine.

It's a good thing.


Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-02-2014, 10:44 PM   #343
3 Rivet Member
 
Currently Looking...
Cincinnati , Ohio
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 146
I'll miss your posts. Keep in touch!
Wish I could attend the rally (Moraine Valley) but it would work out. Maybe next year.
__________________
Mockinbrd is offline  
Old 06-02-2014, 10:59 PM   #344
Rivet Master
 
ROBERTSUNRUS's Avatar

 
2005 25' Safari
Salem , Oregon
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,269
Images: 18
Blog Entries: 51
Hi, Maggie: Sounds like you are doing well. Many things to keep you busy. Very helpful that your son lives so close to you. I'm about two miles from where my Dad's house was and got many calls from him for help until he passed. As for parents, Lee Lee and I are empty nesters now. We plan to do a lot more traveling before we get too old ourselves. Make sure that if you have any concerns, or stories to tell us, that you post them.
__________________
Bob

2005 Safari 25-B
"Le Petit Chateau Argent"
[ Small Silver Castle ]
2000 Navigator / 2014 F-150 Eco-Boost / Equal-i-zer / P-3
YAMAHA 2400 / AIR #12144
ROBERTSUNRUS is offline  
Old 06-03-2014, 06:02 AM   #345
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
Thanks, folks.


Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-04-2014, 08:19 AM   #346
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
And so, in my new life without carnivore husband to feed, my diet is making some serious changes.

For the better, from the results of my last labs and visit to my primary care physician. An unintended consequence, he would say.

Never being the meatlover Doug was, as a loving wife always trying to be a good wife, I cooked his beef, chicken and pork and persuaded him to eat unfried fish and a few carefully crafted meatless meals each week.

He did, for me and in the interest of his own health, and was reasonably open to trying things such as farro, quinoa, beans of various sorts, etc. As long as I cooked his meat meals equally often. Such a good hubbie.

These days, without Doug to cook for and finding myself only infrequently inspired to cook for one, I find myself cooking very little. Especially in this hot weather.

Cook something I like, eat it three or four times, or freeze half for later. Put black beans with something in a whole grain tortilla, heat it up and, voila!...dinner for one! What's to enjoy. Fuel, primarily.

My trip to Iowa last weekend was a no-cook, 4 day trip. Didn't cook once, but morning coffee, while away. Cooked quinoa and farro ahead, for the little frig, made deviled eggs and tuna salad, had yogurt, fresh fruit and plenty of veggies.

Made main meals out of cold quinoa, blueberries and almond milk. Dinner salads with cold farro, fresh chopped veggies and vinaigrette. Delicious.

Doug is shuddering somewhere, looking over my shoulder while I prepare these things and eating whatever spirits eat.......shaking his head a bit, and glad that he is not on my new found, liberated meal planning.

I have moved into a pretty good rhythm of life on my own these days, especially post trip to Iowa for Memorial Day. I felt like I got to spend some time with him, which I very much liked and felt comforted by. Am looking forward to doing this again later this month.

Am planting a few more flowers, as they remind me of him, also because he is not here to cock an eyebrow, purse his lips and tell me things are getting a bit too girly for his liking.

I miss him every day, still talk to him and tell him I love him...every day, just like we always did. So glad that was not unsaid, but have wished desperately that he had regained consciousness for just a minute, so I could tell him one last time.

We don't get to choose, he would say.


Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-06-2014, 04:59 PM   #347
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
Sweet Emma says to Grandma "This will be our first Father's Day without Grandpa". Yes, another first.

Then asks "What was the last holiday we had with Grandpa?" Christmas. Grandpa was here for Christmas, then we left in early January to head south and out of the worst Illinois winter in many years. I returned home alone in mid-March, and they came over to help me empty the Interstate.

Emma and her two big brothers spent the night with Grandma last weekend. I found both boys sitting in his chair in the back bedroom Sunday morning, quietly looking around at his things on the wall. They miss him, too.

The 2014 Labrador calendar he picked up for himself is still hanging in its' spot in the back bedroom, turned to January, just like he left it. Those who knew Doug knew that he was not a dog lover. He did, however, dearly love Miss Lily, our foundling, black lab mix. He just couldn't help himself.

Another first, tomorrow. The annual extended family gathering at our little house. Yard has been freshly mowed, carpets and tile cleaned, house cleaned within inch of its' life, the usual foods prepared and in the frig, including chocolate chip cookie dough ready to bake in the morning. All without Doug's usual assistance. Everyone brings a dish to share, but we have always hosted and done the majority of it.

The daughter is home from NYC, but of course has friends to see and local shopping to catch up on, also her nephews and niece to spend time with. She will be around to help tomorrow, of course, but most of it is already done. They have no clue, really, what it takes to do some of these things,

Doing okay, talking to him and pointing out I haven't relaxed my standards just because I have to do it all by myself.

He is smiling somewhere, pursing his lips a bit and nodding.


Maggie
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-08-2014, 11:34 AM   #348
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563
The annual, extended family shindig at our house was a rousing success.

Moderate temps, with sun and gentle breezes, until approaching storms mid-afternoon drove us inside. Son and a cousin manned the grill, Doug's usual job, while the second generation cousins ran and played in the back yard. Doug would have eaten his first burger over the grill, as food consumed while grilling has no calories, he would say.

Daughter made fresh Sangria, and we caught up a bit on each other's lives. A near-idyllic scene.

My brother and his 20 year old son climbed onto the roof to tack down a few loose shingles and clean out the gutters.....a Doug-er spring chore, not yet done this year. All looks good on the roof, he pronounced.

He seemed so glad to to help , I asked him to look at a troublesome gate latch, the sticking toilet flush and the wobbling garage door. Repairs quickly dispensed with, more iced tea and another cookie.

My brother and his wife brought me an Amazing Grace Windchime, to listen to and think of Doug. Our favorite hymn, and sung at his funeral. I have hung it on the front porch, where I can see and hear it from my favorite chair. Lovely, gentle, melodic tones.

Little house is vacuumed and tidied, darling daughter is American Airlines-bound back to NYC. She starts a new job tomorrow, and I want to brag about how she got it, but will keep my mouth shut. She's a good girl.

A bit of choring this week, before heading for the Moraine View Rally on Thursday, but starting to get out of the spring frenzy and into summer maintenance with the little house and yard. Good. I'm tired.

Think about Doug, miss him, and talk to him every day. Three months ago tomorrow, life changed. Can't say I'm "happy" or "life is good", but peace is starting to settle.

All is well, doing okay.


Maggie
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	image.jpg
Views:	42
Size:	9.7 KB
ID:	213790  
__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Old 06-08-2014, 01:13 PM   #349
Rivet Master
 
ROBERTSUNRUS's Avatar

 
2005 25' Safari
Salem , Oregon
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 7,269
Images: 18
Blog Entries: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by doug&maggie View Post
The annual, extended family shindig at our house was a rousing success.

Moderate temps, with sun and gentle breezes, until approaching storms mid-afternoon drove us inside. Son and a cousin manned the grill, Doug's usual job, while the second generation cousins ran and played in the back yard. Doug would have eaten his first burger over the grill, as food consumed while grilling has no calories, he would say.

Daughter made fresh Sangria, and we caught up a bit on each other's lives. A near-idyllic scene.

My brother and his 20 year old son climbed onto the roof to tack down a few loose shingles and clean out the gutters.....a Doug-er spring chore, not yet done this year. All looks good on the roof, he pronounced.

He seemed so glad to to help , I asked him to look at a troublesome gate latch, the sticking toilet flush and the wobbling garage door. Repairs quickly dispensed with, more iced tea and another cookie.

My brother and his wife brought me an Amazing Grace Windchime, to listen to and think of Doug. Our favorite hymn, and sung at his funeral. I have hung it on the front porch, where I can see and hear it from my favorite chair. Lovely, gentle, melodic tones.

Little house is vacuumed and tidied, darling daughter is American Airlines-bound back to NYC. She starts a new job tomorrow, and I want to brag about how she got it, but will keep my mouth shut. She's a good girl.

A bit of choring this week, before heading for the Moraine View Rally on Thursday, but starting to get out of the spring frenzy and into summer maintenance with the little house and yard. Good. I'm tired.

Think about Doug, miss him, and talk to him every day. Three months ago tomorrow, life changed. Can't say I'm "happy" or "life is good", but peace is starting to settle.

All is well, doing okay.


Maggie
Hi, this all sounds great to me. I also, would work for Iced Tea and Cookies. Nice of your family to help so much. I think that I should start eating the first thing finished on the Barbeque, I like that idea.
__________________
Bob

2005 Safari 25-B
"Le Petit Chateau Argent"
[ Small Silver Castle ]
2000 Navigator / 2014 F-150 Eco-Boost / Equal-i-zer / P-3
YAMAHA 2400 / AIR #12144
ROBERTSUNRUS is offline  
Old 06-08-2014, 01:52 PM   #350
Rivet Master
 
Lily&Me's Avatar

 
2006 22' Interstate
Normal , Illinois
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 13,563


Brother is a couple of hours away, so not available on a moments' notice, but when people say "If there's anything I can do to help", I am going to take them up on that these days.

Doug was not mechanically inclined, me much less so.

Help is good.



Maggie
__________________

__________________
🏡 🚐 Cherish and appreciate those you love. This moment could be your last.🌹🐚❤️
Lily&Me is offline  
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Life Ship --- A novella featuring an Airstream tmeagle1 Airstream Lifestyle 0 02-16-2014 07:46 AM
Life Ship tmeagle1 Airstream Lifestyle 1 02-14-2014 12:48 AM
What kind of Paint??? resurgam3191 All Argosy Trailers 4 08-22-2011 12:01 AM
Considering Airstream life...answers please AnnieG Full-Timing, Winter Living & Workamping 17 03-27-2011 11:41 PM
Tire Life Cracker Tires 17 02-27-2011 03:15 PM


Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:59 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Airstream is a registered trademark of Airstream Inc. All rights reserved. Airstream trademark used under license to Social Knowledge LLC.