A Very Different Kind of Life

[Lily&Me]

I did tell them that, basically, the same thing could happen to any of them, with the children present...i.e. a sudden cardiac death, a stroke, heart attack, car accident, etc.

This type of thing can and does happen, all the time. When it's your time to go, it's your time to go, and we don't get to choose.

As a single parent for 16 years, one of my biggest fears was that something would happen to me and they would be alone.

I taught my children as soon as they were able how to dial "O" to get help, where names and phone numbers of relatives and friends were, etc. They never had to use this information, but were armed with it.

Had already started this discussion with the older boys, in anticipation of this trip, and feel we would have been just fine.

Part of the problem is, they had gotten their heads together and made a decision before expressing anything to me.....they felt that strongly about it. It came to me kindly, but firmly, and that was that.

We'll see what shakes out over time.


Maggie

[nsbcpa]

Story from earlier this year.

We had a caravan of 4 campers heading north on the interstate for a weeks camping. Close to our destination, one of our friends (single 60's mother) rolled her camper (a story for another day but no injuries). By coincidence the event occurred at the interstate exit to her 19 year old daughter's college apartment.

The daughter came to the scene and took charge with getting mom a rental car, dealing with the insurance company, and coordinating salvage of what remained of the vehicle and camper, etc. Turned out it was a great opportunity for the daughter to grow up over a weekend.

[Lily&Me]

Yes, things happen.

I worked with a foster dad years ago who was also a soccer coach. He was in Wisconsin on the way to a soccer meet, with three small children in the car, when their van rolled and he was killed.

Others in their caravan took care of the children until foster mother could get there. Or, the children would have been kept by the police til then, if he had been traveling alone.

I understand these things, they do not.

Thank you,


Maggie

[DIR1]

sorry about all that Maggie... like you said, things happen, here, there, every where... that's life... I hope they come around for you... If I lived closer, I'd ask to come along!!!! hugs, gail...

[Fly at Night]

Originally Posted by doug&maggie

Thank you, Gene. I'm really looking forward to the rally. Hope you also have a good and restful weekend.

I am spending a fair amount of time, in quiet evenings, reading about souls, spirits, spirit signs, etc.

I can't help it. I need to understand, and to feel connected to him where he is now.

I came across this last night, and love it. Have sent it to all of the kids, and am going to print it out to put where I can see and read it every day.

“Always remember deep in your heart that all is well and everything is unfolding as it should. There are no mistakes anywhere, at any time. What appears to be wrong is simply your own false imagination. That's all." Robert Moore

It reminds me that we don't get to choose when or how we and our loved ones leave, and that we are in charge only thru the personal choices we make.

I tell myself to take a deep breath, be a responsible, careful, and mindful person in my life, then trust that it all works out for the best.

Maggie

Hi Maggie,

Thank-you for sharing these pearls of experience and wisdom.

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, ladies.

These are good, responsible adults, and wonderful parents.

I know their decision is coming out of concern for their children.

Also, that they are dealing with the loss of Doug, too.

They have different issues to adjust to and different feelings to manage.

It will sort itself out and be okay, as will I.



XO Maggie

[xrvr]

Can one of them come with you and the kids? Jim

[Lily&Me]

Not for a week long trip.

It's okay. I will regroup for next year, and find something closer to do with them this year, where the parents can get to them faster in the event of an emergency.

That's the biggie, the other being our sleepwalking 9 yo. Doug was going to sleep in the tent with the boys, between that child and the door, the little girls probably inside with me.

We could have all slept in the tent, but then there is still the "so far away" issue.

The reservations are cancelled, too late to turn back now.

It's a disappointment, but not the worst thing I have dealt with this year.

At Moraine View, Roger and Alice MacFarland (macair) are here. Alice is a master seamstress, made me a rose memory quilt, complete with pictures, embroidered patches, etc.

Absolutely beautiful, in greens, cream, rose, pink. I will post a photo when I can.


Maggie

[Gene]

I understand the parents' fears, and I also know these bad things they fear very rarely happen. But everyone is still a bit raw, so over time, hopefully they will be at peace and let that trip happen. Wisdom comes slowly and seniors usually have more of it, but no way you can force the matter. That's wisdom too.

I think you may be at the rally by now, and hope you are doing well there. Memories will come up and then will pass.

Gene

[Jim Flower]

Originally Posted by Gene

I just learned today Lili has left,

Gene

Gene, this is terribly sad news. I thought there was something wrong with my iPad when I couldn't find my almost daily fix of Middle England. Wow! Jim

[DIR1]

I think many of us had a daily "fix" on Lili's thread... I myself looked every day.. sorry she left.... still miss her chats and piccy.... don't know what happened... maybe never will... we still have MAGGIE!!!!

[Gene]

I was told Lili posted that she wanted the thread closed for a while so no one else could post on it. Actually the thread disappeared. For a while she had both MH's for sale, but last I looked, only the Washington one might go on sale. I think she's done these things before.

Not having the time to look at the Forum every day, I would end up with scores of posts to catch up on. I'd end up scanning them and absorbing little.

Gene

[Goal15]

Any chance that Lili went looking for 2Air?

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by Gene

I understand the parents' fears, and I also know these bad things they fear very rarely happen. But everyone is still a bit raw, so over time, hopefully they will be at peace and let that trip happen. Wisdom comes slowly and seniors usually have more of it, but no way you can force the matter. That's wisdom too.

I think you may be at the rally by now, and hope you are doing well there. Memories will come up and then will pass.

Gene

You are exactly right, Gene.

Doug's death was sudden and unexpected. Their focus right now is on what if that happened to Grandma Maggie while she had their precious children with her. Their highest priority in life is the safety and well being of their children.

I get it, I just hate it.

The rally is great, I am surrounded by people we have both known for years. It is very comfortable here, and is going very well.

Dana (Airtandem) brought me a large bag of soft, crocheted snuggle toys and blankies, for the House of Hope, and Alice (macair) is leading several of us putting together a couple of small quilts, also for the House of Hope. Each has a little memory square for Doug. Very, very nice, very kind and thoughtful.

Not a night person, Lily and I are back in the Interstate and I am ready for my jammies and a bit of quiet time. I turn on the TV, and what is just starting but "The Big Chill". One of Doug's favorite movies of all time. We have had the soundtract for eons, he knows every word to every song.

Not a coincidence, I tell myself.

He is smiling, somewhere.


Maggie

[ROBERTSUNRUS]

Originally Posted by Goal15

Any chance that Lili went looking for 2Air?

Hi, you might have struck gold on that one.

[DIR1]

sounds like wonderful, caring Airstream people there.... love "The Big Chill" part... that's not even a subtle sign!!! hahaha... he's with you... hugs, gail

[Lily&Me]

The Moraine View Rally was lovely, the 6th consecutive year for us.

A wonderful group of people, including a few new attendees this year.

A bit sad and different without my other half, but nice to be out for a few days, in a sea of familiar and friendly faces.

The van battery was dead this morning, for some reason, but Silvertwinkie and his brother got it jumped and me on the road. That battery is just over a year old, can't imagine why it would be dead. Will have to keep a watch on that.

Am home now, doing laundry and awaiting the grands and their parents who will be here later for supper.

Lily is crashed on the couch. Exhausting for her, 3 days of monitoring all the other dogs and watching for bits of dropped food.


Pizza delivery tonight. Grandma is tired.


Maggie

[Gene]

Glad to hear you had a lovely time Maggie.

The battery—could be the alternator, the computer that regulates the charging function or a loose wire. A year old battery should still be good. Does it need water? Is there a separate house battery that is bad and sucks energy from the alternator so nothing gets properly charged? Check the battery water (unless it is sealed) and if not above the plates, fill each hole with distilled water to just above the plates. Did the battery charge on the trip home? If not, you may have a bad cell (not hard to check with a hydrometer, but be careful of spilling sulphuric acid) or it was so dead, an alternator can't charge it and it has to be charged with a charger. You may prefer to to take it to a shop where they understand this stuff. If you have a DC voltmeter, you can check alternator output at the battery terminals with the engine running and compare with the charge on the battery when the engine isn't running. There's a lot more to it (auto electrics confound many a mechanic), but those are simple checks.

Gene

[Lily&Me]

Thanks for all those suggestions, Gene, but I know not the answer to one of them.

I wouldn't dare try to touch it or deal with it myself. Makes my eyes cross just to read what you've written.

Will have it looked at by the pros.


Maggie

[Gene]

Barb's eyes would cross too. If you've absorbed a little of it, it may help you understand what the pros say.

Gene