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Old 04-21-2003, 03:36 PM   #1
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A two dollar bill?? grin..

>On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday cash
>I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold
>is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my
>person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not
>have to worry about people getting pissed at me.
>Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
>Clerk: "Is that it?"
>Me: "Yep."
>Clerk: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
>Me: "No, it's to go." [I hate effort duplication.]
>At this point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at
>it kind of funny and says,
>Clerk: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
>He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The
>following conversation occurs between the two of them.
>Clerk: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
>Manager: "No. A what?"
>Clerk: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
>Manager: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 bill."
>Clerk: "Yeah, thought so."
>He comes back to me and says,
>Clerk: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
>Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
>Clerk: "I don't know."
>Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
>Clerk: "Yeah."
>Me: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
>Clerk: "Well, hang on a sec."
>He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to
>shoplift, and
>Clerk: "He says I have to take it."
>Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
>Clerk: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get
>Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
>Clerk: "What should I do?"
>Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
>Clerk: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
>Manager: "Just tell him."
>Clerk: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."
>The manager approaches me and says,
>Manager: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night."
> [It was 8:00pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lighted
>indoor mall with a hundred other stores.]
>Me: "Well, here's a two."
>Manager: "We don't take those either."
>Me: "Why the hell not?"
>Manager: "I think you know why."
>Me: "No really, tell me, why?"
>Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
>Me: "Excuse me?"
>Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
>Me: "What the hell for?"
>Manager: "Please, sir."
>Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
>Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
>Me: "No."
>Manager: "Fine, have it your way then."
>Me: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
>At this point he backs away from me and calls mall security on the
>phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining
>area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.
>A few minutes later, this 45-year-oldish guy comes in and says at the
>other end of counter, in a whisper:
>Security Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
>Manager: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
>Guard: "Really? What?"
>Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
>Guard: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
>Manager: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he
>has is a fifty."
>Guard: "So, the fifty's fake?"
>Manager: "No, the $2 is."
>Guard: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
>Manager: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
>Guard: "Yeah..."
>Security guard walks over to me and says
>Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to
>Me: "Uh, no."
>Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
>Me: "Why?"
>Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
>At this point I was ready to say, "sure, please," but I wanted to eat,
>so I said,
>Me: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2
>I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a
>swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands,
>and says
>Guard: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
>Manager: "It's fake."
>Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
>Manager: "But it's a two-dollar bill."
>Guard: "Yeah?"
>Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
>The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and
>it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.
>My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon
>things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see
>what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of
>people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food...

Visit Idaho The people are great
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:26 PM   #2
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Great story Frank. I had a couple of the $2 bills but let them get away. I'm with you, wish I had a handfull of those to drive people nuts. There is, of course, the $3 Bill Clinton bill I have in my wallet but I don't stand a chance with that.


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Old 04-21-2003, 04:47 PM   #3
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Loved the story........can see it happening along with not knowing how to make change.......plastic society for sure

"Visit Idaho The people are great"

except the two working at Taco Bell
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Old 04-21-2003, 04:56 PM   #4
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Nice story. That guy was total knob....

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Old 04-21-2003, 06:09 PM   #5
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reminds me of when I had to show the Home Depot employee which marks on his tape measure were the 16ths when he was cutting a sheet of plywood for me.

I guess it was good he asked.....

I guess....

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