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Old 01-03-2016, 02:31 PM   #1501
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Thanks, Evelyn.......tho I was gone 3 1/2 months last winter, so not so much "becoming", but doing it differently than last year and from what Doug and I always did.

Solo is different than duo....so am carving out a new path in my new and different life.


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Old 01-03-2016, 09:28 PM   #1502
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Thanks, Evelyn.......tho I was gone 3 1/2 months last winter, so not so much "becoming", but doing it differently than last year and from what Doug and I always did.

Solo is different than duo....so am carving out a new path in my new and different life.


Maggie
Miss Maggie, have you heard of the book "Becoming who you are" ??? We got a copy from the Bishop. It is brief...but gives some structure to becoming aware of defining ones life...it is very interesting. Would be a short read for you...
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:39 AM   #1503
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Thanks for that suggestion, Channing. I'll look for it.

It is an odd sort of transition in personal roles and who-am-I that is occurring.....from Doug's wife, to suddenly his widow, to....still his widow, but there is all this space in my primary role which must be something.

I felt acutely adrift without my paddle right after Doug died, and particularly thru that first year-and-a-half or so.....traumatized, but getting up, going thru the motions, doing what needed to be done...trying to carry on with the tasks of life and also resume travel in our beloved Interstate.

It was all necessary and critical for getting thru it.... but much more that putting-on-someone-else's-coat feeling than wearing my own, comfy and familiar one.

With time, regardless the origin of cataclysmic events that overturn one's life, the motions that hold you up eventually become your own, and begin to take shape, reflecting more you and becoming less rote.....which is why it is so important to get up every morning and try to do your life.

One foot ahead of the other, just do it. It has always gotten me thru, every time.

Me-without-him is more solidified, now....more purposeful, with changes and shifts that reflect just-me, my own primary caregiver, less this-is-what-we-always-did.

Not going to throw myself into redefinition, but to try to be open and thoughtful, more intentional overall, and to find it.


62 in the little house when I got up this morning, but I always enjoy the routine of starting a fire and feeling the living room slowly warm as I sip my coffee....curled up in my favorite chair with a blanket.

Lily to the vet for her shots this am, then volunteer-Monday this afternoon....my last for a few months.


Maggie
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Old 01-04-2016, 09:17 AM   #1504
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good morning Maggie.. sounds like you're on a roll... I so admire you... hugs and love from here, gail
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Old 01-04-2016, 09:37 AM   #1505
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Maggie,
It appears your transition is very near complete...(.from the outside looking in). Moving through life, we are always in some form of transition, and it will/or should not ever be complete.
In the short period you have had, you have certainly made major strides forward and continue to do so. You could head a support group, on how to deal with and survive the losses of sudden widowhood. You are a role model to us all...one special lady. Bless you. Evelyn.
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Old 01-04-2016, 10:12 AM   #1506
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Thank you for your support and kind words, ladies.

I have worked very hard at dealing with something I can do nothing about, and it all feels more internalized the last few months....hard to articulate, but the inner me is healing and coming together....there is less work at it, less going thru the motions, more ownership of life as it stands.

A couple of NY's resolutions, a couple of personal goals in mind for 2016....we'll see how things look a year from now.

Lily has had her shots, and been pronounced healthy.....tho still a bit on the chubby side, but then, so am I.

Seriously, am going to cut her food back a bit.

Now, if I could just rid myself of my sweet tooth, and the occasional need for Fritos.

The sun is shining here, it is a beautiful day. .


Maggie
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:02 AM   #1507
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Lily's weight. I have and continue to feed my girls a non grain salmon kibble diet as well as green beans, cauliflower, broccoli and carrots all mixed in with their food. The vegetables give them more to eat, much less caloric intake and their weights remain at a healthy level, which is tough on Labs or Lab mixes as they tend to gain weight quickly. One can mix in the vegetables without changing the basic food given. We use a kibble made by an American company with all products sourced in the US, Flint River Ranch. Not cheap, but when filling in with veggies the cost is about the same as store bought.

Enjoy your trip, walks should be much more enjoyable down south.

Bud
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:09 AM   #1508
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Does your dog food brand make an "adult light" formula? Blackie eats one of those, and hasn't had a weight problem so far. As I transition her to being a house dog, I'll have to watch her weight closely.

Paceman's suggestion of including veggies in the diet is a good one, for me as well as for the dog.

Being overweight is worse for dogs than it is for us, and it's bad enough for us.
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:20 AM   #1509
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That's a good idea, Bud.

Lily loves carrots and cucumber, but I have never tried her on broccoli or cauliflower.

I am already feeding her a mix of adult and healthy weight pedigree. I can easily up the carrots, which are also fibrous and filling.

In that she was a starving dog when we found her, I cannot abide the thought of her feeling hungry.

I seldom miss a day of walking her, but my bad knees and right hip....even with the orthotics....prevent miles and miles, day after day, on the hard pavement of town life.

One of the things she loves to do is go for a bike ride with me....I ride, she runs along side....but loose, of course, not something I can do in town.

I do turn her loose and let her rip a bit, and she has my big back yard where she does the same......but, it is apparently not enough.

The doctor wasn't alarmed, just said that getting 4-5 pounds off of her would be beneficial.

I will work on it, and add more veggies.

Soon, too......we will have some beach time.


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Old 01-05-2016, 06:26 AM   #1510
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Does your dog food brand make an "adult light" formula? Blackie eats one of those, and hasn't had a weight problem so far. As I transition her to being a house dog, I'll have to watch her weight closely.

Paceman's suggestion of including veggies in the diet is a good one, for me as well as for the dog.

Being overweight is worse for dogs than it is for us, and it's bad enough for us.

I haven't gone to all healthy weight dog food....the vet suggested mixing the two.....but may do that if adding veggies doesn't do it.

When we are not traveling, her exercise routine changes, too....and we are on "down time" right now.

When traveling, I walk her usually 3 times a day, weather permitting. Home, it is once.

I need to be a better mom to this dog.


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Old 01-05-2016, 06:26 AM   #1511
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Bike riding is great, for all of us, people and dogs. Beach play is terrific, our puppy loves it but unfortunately drinks the whole time, has a major blow out and then done. Have not had the new member to the beach yet.

Have a Safe Trip

Bud
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:32 AM   #1512
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Lily doesn't drink the sea water, tho especially when she was younger had to taste everything....including sand and seawater.

She was starving and foraging when we found her, and still forages as if she doesn't know when or whether she will next eat.

I have to watch her when we are out....she tastes and tries to eat odd things to see if they will provide sustenance, I think.


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Old 01-05-2016, 06:33 AM   #1513
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Blackie likes to play fetch. I throw, she runs, small reward when she brings the object back and actually gives it to me. She'd rather turn the event into a game of tug-of-war, which I don't like.

I usually use a rubber frisbee rather than a ball. With the ball, my hands are soaked with doggie drool after about the third throw--not good in cool weather. Blackie has great fun shaking the frisbee around trying to kill it before she gives it back.

Carrots would work well for the reward, but I've been using just a kibble or two from her regular dog food. She works cheap, so long as any food is offered.

Anyhow, it's a way to exercise a dog without too much effort for the human.
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:34 AM   #1514
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Bike riding is great, for all of us, people and dogs. Beach play is terrific, our puppy loves it but unfortunately drinks the whole time, has a major blow out and then done. Have not had the new member to the beach yet.

Have a Safe Trip

Bud
Bike riding is easier on my hip and knees than extended walking on the pavement, actually.


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Old 01-05-2016, 06:37 AM   #1515
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Blackie likes to play fetch. I throw, she runs, small reward when she brings the object back and actually gives it to me. She'd rather turn the event into a game of tug-of-war, which I don't like.

I usually use a rubber frisbee rather than a ball. With the ball, my hands are soaked with doggie drool after about the third throw--not good in cool weather. Blackie has great fun shaking the frisbee around trying to kill it before she gives it back.

Carrots would work well for the reward, but I've been using just a kibble or two from her regular dog food. She works cheap, so long as any food is offered.

Anyhow, it's a way to exercise a dog without too much effort for the human.
It is.

Lily loves to chase a ball or frisbee a few times, tho is more interested in playing keep-away than bringing it back.

She loves tug of war, but we learned as her alpha-ness emerged more fully to never let her win.....it reinforced the alpha in her and she was less submissive to we adults....she needs to know, always, that I am the alpha in our little pack of two.


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Old 01-05-2016, 06:53 AM   #1516
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She loves tug of war, but we learned as her alpha-ness emerged more fully to never let her win.....it reinforced the alpha in her and she was less submissive to we adults....she needs to know, always, that I am the alpha in our little pack of two.

Same reason I don't play tug with Blackie. When we first got her, she beat me up pretty bad while trying to be alpha around here. Must have been why her original owners dropped her off at the pound at 8 months old.
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:22 AM   #1517
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Interesting....,I have often wondered if Lily's alpha personality was why she was abandoned at 8-9 months, tho I have been told those traits begin to emerge shortly after birth.

Lily had obviously been a house pet, per my assessment and that of the vets in Louisiana and at home....she had healthy teeth, no worms, was housebroken, knew basic commands, and appeared to have been well cared overall.

Why one would just leave a dog like that, I could never understand, but she has been a challenge and a learning experience for me.

If ours are both alpha's, it will be interesting to see how they work that out when we meet this summer.


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Old 01-05-2016, 07:46 AM   #1518
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Thanks for rescuing her, she has a great life. No, actually our two are well fed and carried for like Lily - BUT, Labs are notorious for eating virtually anything and Lily looks to be part Lab. Our Vet the one that does our Rescue dogs as well as our two, says she has to send a Lab to a specialty clinic about once a week to take something out of their stomachs. And it could be anything. The best word I think I teach dogs either mine or others dogs is "leave it". But then we can't watch them 24/7. Today at 9 degrees our two are outside now eating some snow and dirt?

Bud
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:55 AM   #1519
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She does have a pretty good life.....a friend of mine, watching me and his significant other interact lovingly with our respective canines, said "In my next life, I want to come back as one of my dogs."

Lily has webbed feet, and both vets proclaimed her at least half lab.

She is on the smallish end, tho I would call her a medium sized dog, and when she was younger was often taken as a lab pup.

I get many compliments on her disposition and how well behaved she is these days....better behavior in recent years, as I have learned more.

Couldn't love her more.


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Old 01-05-2016, 08:03 AM   #1520
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Free Running?

If your dog is trained to 'heel'/leash control.....perhaps Free running! I have no financial interest in this.. nor do I personally free run at this time.

https://youtu.be/PLtDPBQNy1E

Maybe this will help .... A video of a way to keep your pet under control while riding...and when you stop... The interesting part is how the YouTube shows riders in actual situations. Especially how you can 'store' your bike while keeping your dog next to you..and under control so they don't run off..

It seems to me...The 'magic' being the flexibility of your dog's soft or strong control inputs because the 'connection' to the bike is near the rear wheel and at the axle level. This should give you the advantage of 'leverage' as the rear wheel is usually capable of adequate traction.

https://youtu.be/XmzFAIJhPOw

There are other videos of riders doing 'free running'... it establishes the rider as the 'pack/alpha' keeping them in a position slightly behind the human leader.

Just food for thought... 'brain candy'..
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