A Different Life II

[paiceman]

Try two Fur Bombshells. Especially our new four and a half year old, pat here sides and she explodes. Before taking her into a school or hospital I have to pat her sides for a good 2-4 minutes to pound it off, only lasts a couple of minutes, however, then it's back. Bud as stated, well worth the trouble.

[Lily&Me]

The last cleaning chore on my to-do list completed this morning....the entertainment center, housing the TV, stereo, DVD player, and....our CD's, most of which are Doug's music....Sara Vaughan to Dr. John and Kermit Ruffins to the Beach Boys.

He was the musc man, the music master, who loved music of all kinds....he knew who wrote what and when, if it was covered by another band and when that occurred, who had died and under what circumstances. He should have been in a garage band in his high school 60's, but he couldn't carry a tune and didn't play an instrument.

A storehouse of trivia, I used to call him, and often told him I need remember nothing because he remembered it all.

And so, I have bagged up over 100 CD's really more his taste than mine, but for a few that are special to me and us , and will pass them on to his kids next week. Done, with twinges of sadness...but no tears. Life.


There was a head-on collision near Peoria a couple of days ago, in which two died, and on a stretch of road infamous for cars striking deer and tossing them thru the windshields of oncoming vehicles.

This one, I heard on the news this morning, was due to a "medical event". Like Doug, something immediate and catastrophic, causing a driver to cross into oncoming traffic. If Doug had been stricken while we were driving, an accident could have taken us both, instantly. It happens all the time.

If I had left to deal with laundry, walk the dog, etc., instead of been sitting next to him on the couch, he would have been dead there when I came back. 5 minutes was all it would have taken.

As awful as it all was, I am grateful he was eventually revived and we had a couple of days to process what had happened and was going to happen. I believe he came back, just for awhile, to give us that and for me to have my daughter and his with me at the end. Thank you, honey.


I have been feeling a bit disgusted with certain members of humankind the last couple of days...can you tell...and have to consciously remind myself not to dwell there. Do what you can, and let it go, I tell myself.

The young man and I last week talked about this....that dark thoughts and that circling-the-drain feeling are places to visit when bad things happen, not places to stay. He got that.

We talked about the importance of finding and acknowledge things in our lives that are good and which we are grateful for, to help pull us up and out of it. He got that, too.

I always come across something that helps me look up and distract myself from dark thoughts and feelings, and a book I found tucked back on a shelf in the entertainment center did it for me this morning.

Story People, by Brian Andreas, purchased at least 20 years ago, and 5 of Brian's prints which are framed and in various parts of the little house.

He has good words, we liked him and appreciated his ability to put his finger right on it.

Maggie

[ColoradoLady]

Maggie, your memories of Doug are so vivid, so deeply heartfelt...almost makes one feel as if we had met...although, of course, we had not. It is you, who is such a powerful and descriptive writer that makes is seem so. It is obvious , through your writings, to see he was a wonderful man...one of those rare and beloved ones. I am so happy for you that you have those great memories to sustain you through these difficult times.

I urge you , if you are not already doing so...keep a journal...write a book, if only for your eyes. You are a gifted writer, a woman of deep feeling, capable of expression in a way that many cannot. You will find it helpful to you and yours in years to come. One of the most valuable books I own...is that one that began as a journal after my Lynn died, and I transformed it to book form, including poetry, (that I had never written before, or since). It has comforted me so many times in the 25+ years since she died.

I understand how dark thoughts can creep in.....there is so much corruption, violence, evil...apparent in the world in which we live. I too, feel powerless and frustrated that the ones in office seem oblivious to the dangers we face. They are suppose to protect us, and that is not happening. He seems to think if he feeds us a line of "B.S., that we will feel safe...not so. My only hope is that we can protect ourselves through caution and common sense measures. I know there is goodness and kindness in MOST of our fellow men and women....and I cling to that, and pray that somehow, goodness and decency will prevail!
God bless. Evelyn.

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Evelyn.

Doug was a very good man.

Sorting thru the leavings of his life with me, there is still a surreal quality to it all.


Maggie

[ColoradoLady]

Maggie, just a thought....is there some way that you can go back through your posts from you and Doug in the early years, then, forward...perhaps to transfer those posts to paper written form? I'll just bet there is... Maybe via 'cut and paste'? Think on it.

[Lily&Me]

You know, someone else suggested that, and my response to them was that I did not want to go back and re-live any of it.

I still feel that way, but thanks for the suggestion.


Maggie

[ColoradoLady]

I understand. Hugs. Evelyn.

[Lily&Me]

It looks like a Shirley Valentine-ish gathering on the West Coast next year could still happen, as I am foregoing Alumalina in October for Alumalina in March, so getting all the way to the West Coast could be done.

Coordinating with Gail-of-Oregon, she is suggesting Fort Stevens SP near Astoria.....when exactly, still to be determined, but likely September sometime, after the WY RD adventure.

The original plan was a women's gathering , tho any who must have spouses in tow would not be tarred and feathered.

Men might find a plethora of women-talk more than they could abide, tho, and need to find other things to occupy their time.

Stay tuned.....specifics still to be worked out.


Doing gingerbread cookies for my grands today, who will be looking for Christmas cookies when they are here Saturday afternoon to help me put up my tree. I have used this recipe for years, the cookies keep very well and their flavor develops with the keeping.

This may be the only cookie I make this year. We used to do lots of cookies, when I had families on my caseload and lots of kids in residential placement.

If you grew up in a family that made Christmas cookies, as I did, you would be astonished at how many people struggling with life have never had a homemade one.

You can make a frosting to do buttons, bows, hair, pants, skirts, boots, etc., to decorate, but the Wilton tubes are just so handy.

I usually double this recipe, wrap portions and freeze in freezer Ziploc bags, so I can pull dough out as needed.

Gingerbread Cut-Outs

1/2 cup butter, 1/2 cup shortening
1/2 cup sugar, 1/2 cup molasses

Cream together and add one egg.

Mix and add;

2 3/4 cups flour
1 teaspoon ginger
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon cloves

Chill at least 4 hours. Roll out, cut, bake @ 350 degrees.

Yum!


Maggie

[Twinke58]

I love reading your stories and fun your having. This is one of the topic I always read in my day. I wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss of your husband and I love to read the recipes for the goodies you make. I have made some myself. Very yummy! How long to you cook the cookies for? I'm making cake cookies and suger airstream cookies! I hope to meet you someday in my travels. I will be going to international rally this year maybe I'll see you there or at another rally. The lady retreat sounds good but can't go because of my work. I drive a school bus so can't get off at that time.
Rachel
62 Tradewind named Agnes


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[Lily&Me]

Thank you.

My recipe doesn't have a time on it, so I would say.....til done.

10-12 minutes or so, til the edges start to brown.


Maggie

[Twinke58]

Thank you that will help. Making this weekend!


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[Lily&Me]

Hope you enjoy them, Rachel.

Deciding these were the only ones I was going to bake...tho a double batch ...I pulled out all of my cutters, so have trees, stockings, holly leaves, etc., as well as boys/girls. Why not.

I roll these and sugar cookies out these days between wax paper. I despise the mess that floured surfaces make, plus you have the problem of working a lot of flour into dough that must be re-worked.

My first Christmas cookie baking since Doug died....I did nothing last year, but gifts for the kiddies. Besides leave, and take care of myself.

He always helped me decorate them.....I would get them baked, we would sit at the kitchen table, tunes on the stereo, and just get it done. He was one of those husbands and partners in life, who pitched in and helped with whatever needed to be done. The way a good hubbie should be.

Always looked for on Christmas Day here, plus another gathering with Doug's kids/theirs, so there were plenty of helpers to eat them up. I'm letting my son handle holiday meals these days, and she does cookies there.

Only me, here...don't need too many cookies, tho these will keep a long time in a cool place.


Maggie

[rmkrum]

Maggie, the more I learn about Doug, the more I wish I had met him! Please do keep telling his story!


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[Lily&Me]

He was a good man.

Not a perfect man....but if he were a perfect man, he likely would not have wanted imperfect me.

We balanced each other out pretty well.


Maggie

[rmkrum]

A good man, and a good woman is an ideal combination, IMHO.


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[Lily&Me]

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Tree things pulled out, waiting on my grands to arrive. Still so odd to touch things Doug touched last. Sigh.

Had a call last evening from Doug's Gunsite buddy of many years, and who bought Doug's Browning from the youngest daughter to whom it was willed....and who does not shoot nor ever intend to. Doug would be pleased that Bill had this gun.

Bill told me the first thing he did when he received it was to take it apart, lay it all out, and clean it thoroughly..... knowing that's what Doug would have wanted. Doug took very meticulous care of his weapons...also his shoes, his knives.

He doesn't ever intend to shoot the Browning, just to keep it, cherish it and care for it, as a memento of their friendship. He likes knowing that Doug shot it last, and is going to will it to his son with instructions that it is to stay that way. Sweet.

Bill is glad I am still traveling in the Interstate, says that is something Doug would have wanted. I think so, too.

Yep, doin' my best.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

This falcon image is the official logo for Gunsite, and I had this made by a metal sculpture-er in SC for Doug's gravesite.

Gunsite was such an important part of his life, it seemed fitting.

I have had this since last spring, imbedded in the ground by the house, and am going to move it to his gravesite this next spring.

I thought it should stay here for awhile.


Maggie

[cwf]

Miss Maggie.. I have a firearm, left to me by a dear friend.... Knowing it was important to him for me to own it, I certainly know the hope that lives on...

[Lily&Me]

The grands came, helped me with my trees, consumed cookies and headed to a family do on her side.

Sweet babies, and at least Emma thinks helping me do this every year is a great idea. She is an especially tuned-in child....always very aware of and sensitive to how Grandma "must be feeling" with Grandpa gone, and wanting to care for me and provide some extra nurturing. Sweet, and I'll take it.

One of the things that naturally occurs as we get older is that role-reversal....the caregiver and primary doer of all things becomes the one who is cared for a bit and done for. I guess part of what we teach our kids over the years is how to do these things, so eventually they can take them on with or without us and carry on traditions.

There are already lots of "I remember...", from my kids and the grands, and I like that.

We did puzzles, too....the new purchases were well received.

Have had my Sunday-Skype with my baby girl....we have a couple of cups of coffee together....gotten my papers, and intend to mostly hang out today and not feel a need to be too productive.

I've had a busy week, indoor choring is done and there is lots of wood in, so.....


Maggie