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Old 09-18-2015, 01:22 PM   #827
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Good, we always need to keep in mind that grief is not just a human emotion, dogs especially can and do suffer from a type of grief and it can last some length of time. Therefore, each time "her" pack leaves she is not thinking the pack may not return, but feeling it (you) may not return. DO NOT FEEL OR ACT GUILTY when you do, as this will reinforce her feelings, simply walk away happy when you leave her, they can sense every emotion we have, every, think in terms of service dogs who detect seizures, diabetes etc, they are sensing these things an change in body chemistry and emotion even before we know it is happening. But, with the grand kids and your son she is ok, it's comfortable and she could actually live there happily. But, always a but with animals, then pack comes back and she goes home to the place were there used to be three, now two, (she does not count) but knows something is different, something makes her sad. Therefore, the Pack walk seems to alleviate much of this concern and brings them back to a better place and that this is now my life and my pack. They are not simple creatures, they are extremely complicated but also very adaptable. I work with depressed and reclusive dogs almost every day, a little walk before starting the rehabilitation makes the whole process work better.

We use the walk all the time with our rescue dogs, especially those that have been simply dumped off by owners they have had for years. The walk, play time and other dogs usually bring them back.

Maggie, any questions you can always contact me at any time. If I don't have the answer there is another trainer with me, much better than I am, to whom we can turn. You are a good Mom and you have a good dog.

My Best
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:24 PM   #828
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Spent about 3 1/2 hours cleaning the little house this morning......that is a lot of cleaning time for this little place, but a thorough dusting had not been done in awhile, because.....why??

AC runs 24 hours a day to keep the humidity out, I have a good filter, house remains closed up, not much dust this time of year. However, every once in awhile the surfaces call to you, and say....it's time, Missy.

Dog hair, tho, now that is another matter. I vacuum up great wads of dog hair every single week, and that is vacuuming about every other day to keep my light carpet from becoming dingy grey. Booger dog.

Labs. Wonderful, devoted, darling dogs, but boy do they shed.

Dusting and polishing this morning, talking to Doug as I go....this was always his job ...I realize how much more I just charge thru what needs to be done these days, rather than the tentative, emotional, sometimes tearful management of unfamiliar chores-that-were-his that characterized this time last year. I've come a long way.

I was looking in the Matrix for something to write on the other day, and found his CD's in the little storage bin.....untouched since he last touched them before we headed south last January. Dr. John does Duke Ellington, Miles Davis, Sinatra Reprise, etc. Doug's music.

I brought them inside, banded them together, gave them a kiss and put a note on them as to where they came from. Will give them to his kids, just like that, next time I see them. It's what he would want.

One of these days, I will get myself to put in a CD, and begin listening to the sound track of our years together.. Not just yet. The tears are still too close to the surface, so why poke them deliberately. Holding myself together thru all things is what I do,


Because of my diligence in getting everything ship shape, including washing all the rugs, I treated myself to Chinese carryout delivered directly to my door. Why? Because I deserved it. Yum.

Watching the movie "Shirley Valentine" is on my list of things to do this weekend. I also intend to finish The Year of Magical Thinking and make a few of my favorite soy candles......rose with lavender.

Good for all things, at all times.


Maggie
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Old 09-18-2015, 01:32 PM   #829
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Thanks for all that info, Bud.

I will keep it in mind and continue to give her endless amounts of unconditional love and affection.

Don't know what I would have done without her this past year and a half, and that's the truth. I didn't have to go get her, she was already there and a part of me when I got home from Georgia. Cannot imagine getting thru it without her constant companionship and love.

Doug's daughter and I were talking about that on Sunday. She said their new puppy saved her after her Dad died.

I understand.


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Old 09-18-2015, 03:10 PM   #830
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You are more than welcome.

Stay Well

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Old 09-18-2015, 07:31 PM   #831
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Lily does NOT like thunderstorms.
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Old 09-19-2015, 04:31 PM   #832
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Mucho thunderstorms last evening.

If Lily could have crawled under my skin, that's where she would have been.

We badly needed the rain, tho, so now it has cooled off and the grass has greened up nicely.

No Shirley Valentine movie this weekend, as I could not find it at WalMart or Best Buy....both of whom have it online. Not on Netflix, either.

It has been another day, like several others this week.......cannot begin to explain the what and the why, but it is okay, and I have had a long soak in a bubble bath. .

There are few difficult situations that a bubble bath can't improve.


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Old 09-19-2015, 06:25 PM   #833
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Originally Posted by Lily&Me View Post
Mucho thunderstorms last evening.

If Lily could have crawled under my skin, that's where she would have been.

We badly needed the rain, tho, so now it has cooled off and the grass has greened up nicely.

No Shirley Valentine movie this weekend, as I could not find it at WalMart or Best Buy....both of whom have it online. Not on Netflix, either.

It has been another day, like several others this week.......cannot begin to explain the what and the why, but it is okay, and I have had a long soak in a bubble bath. .

There are few difficult situations that a bubble bath can't improve.


Maggie
My Sophie, in my avatar photo, is the same way about storms. She follows me every where I go and climbs up in my lap if allowed. Both our girls are true blue but they adore the three year old grandson and wouldn't mind going off with him if allowed. They both act closer to my husband most of the time but if there is anything going on and they think there could be trouble they stay by my side to protect me.


Hope what ever is causing difficulty will smooth out soon.


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Old 09-19-2015, 06:47 PM   #834
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My Sophie, in my avatar photo, is the same way about storms. She follows me every where I go and climbs up in my lap if allowed. Both our girls are true blue but they adore the three year old grandson and wouldn't mind going off with him if allowed. They both act closer to my husband most of the time but if there is anything going on and they think there could be trouble they stay by my side to protect me.


Hope what ever is causing difficulty will smooth out soon.


Carol
Thank you. Maybe Lily is protecting me....I have always thought she was afraid. She follows me around and gets as close as close can be when I am sitting. She is far too big to be a lap dog, tho she would if she could.

I am rolling with this situation, being thoughtful and following it where it leads me. I have long since believed that you are in any given position at any point in time because that is where you are meant to be and what you are supposed to be doing,

This is a person issue, someone entrusted with something important, in a position where one expects the honesty and integrity of the profession, and it isn't there.

Sad to say, I am no longer surprised at the depths to which people will stoop, the lack in so many of a moral center and operating moral compass. The stories I could tell. I did once work for the SOI, you know. Not as bad as you have heard, but worse....worse than you can imagine.

However, I can and will deal with it. I am one of those for whom the saying was written "You have been given this life because you are strong enough to deal with it".

That would be me.


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Old 09-20-2015, 07:11 AM   #835
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Thank you. Maybe Lily is protecting me....I have always thought she was afraid. She follows me around and gets as close as close can be when I am sitting. She is far too big to be a lap dog, tho she would if she could.

I am rolling with this situation, being thoughtful and following it where it leads me. I have long since believed that you are in any given position at any point in time because that is where you are meant to be and what you are supposed to be doing,

This is a person issue, someone entrusted with something important, in a position where one expects the honesty and integrity of the profession, and it isn't there.

Sad to say, I am no longer surprised at the depths to which people will stoop, the lack in so many of a moral center and operating moral compass. The stories I could tell. I did once work for the SOI, you know. Not as bad as you have heard, but worse....worse than you can imagine.

However, I can and will deal with it. I am one of those for whom the saying was written "You have been given this life because you are strong enough to deal with it".

That would be me.


Maggie
Maggie and others:

Don't really want to high jack here, but then again I do when it comes to our dogs. Fear of thunder and such is a conditioning thing with dogs. The thunder, fireworks etc send waves through the air that dogs not only hear, they feel. When this first occurs we naturally comfort them (my wife and I used to do this as well ) and then next time we feel anxious for them "knowing" they will be afraid and troubled. As such this amplifies their feelings and it goes on an on, NO ONES fault, it's natural to want to comfort a troubled dog.

Suggestion, with new puppies, totally ignore their concerns, do not comfort them, but instead give them a command, in a very calm voice and if necessary, not recommended, give them a treat and go about as if nothing is happening. For older dogs, one has to break the conditioning. I suggest a soft mild command, such as lie down, go to bed, sit or whatever the dog is comfortable doing in normal situations. Reinforce with a treat if you want to. Takes a long time to break this condition, but it can be done.

EXAMPLE:
As to puppies; our new Lab is now two. From day one after 12 weeks I took her everyplace, stores, meetings, to our rescue etc. I "conditioned" her to accept anything at anytime. Yesterday we held a motorcycle run as a charity event for our new dog rescue. 51 motorcycles, she stood with me as bikes left, many revving their engines and then four hours later welcomed the bikes back, standing on the street with me, with only her tail wagging and looking at the bikes ( it was very loud) This was her first time doing anything like this. I give this example not to brag at all about my ability, but to show that if gotten as puppies most dogs can be conditioned anyway you want them to be. She even exceeded my expectations, BUT, i went into yesterdays "exercise" expecting her to be successful, which is another key to conditioning adult dogs away from being afraid of thunder - you need to expect them NOT to be afraid and you can not feel concerned as they will sense your concern and this too will amplify their fears. Every dog senses every emotion you have, ie service dogs are not really special just highly trained to react to a specific(s) situations and they also are tested for a required temperament. Your dog(s) have similar abilities.

I apologize for being so long, but after managing and leading 1,500 people for a number of years it's my life's passion in retirement to understand and work with dogs, and not people, yet I find dogs are ok, it's all about people, therefore, despite my best efforts I get carried away. Maggie, PM if too much for your thread.

My Best

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Old 09-20-2015, 07:28 AM   #836
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Not a problem, Bud. Very good information for we dog lovers.

Lily also hates those rumble strips on the road ways....hops down off her seat fast when I go over them pulling off the road.

When Doug was alive, and we had thunderstorms while in the Interstate, she would curl up between our respective shoulders, touching us both, and there she would stay til it was over.

Such a dumpling she is.


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Old 09-20-2015, 11:02 AM   #837
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I don't like the rumble strips either, I've with Lily on this one.

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Old 09-20-2015, 01:53 PM   #838
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It is such a beautiful, early fall day here today. 74 degrees, no humidity, and the sun is shining.

I slept hard last night....a soak in the tub is good for that, and sleep is such an important stress reducer.

Some tasks completed today have pushed the dark back where it belongs, peace and calm have returned to the little house.....and all is mostly right with the world.

I did a trial pack of my suitcase today, and everything I plan to take to Greece fits....with room to spare.

A little bit of extra space is necessary, of course, for any small pretties I may pick up to bring home. A week from tomorrow.....

Will walk Lily over to my sons in a bit, and dinner there will complete the usual Sunday routine.


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Old 09-21-2015, 04:50 PM   #839
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"Be careful what you wish for" .....is the theme of the day.

I needed something outside my home to take up some time and emotional energy, Ummmm......

I have this other thing I've been dealing with for almost two weeks, now pretty well buttoned up and under control at this point.

This morning I called one of those places that has sites across the country that will draw labs for you....there are a couple, I will not name this specific one. because on Saturdday, a co-pay charge came thru on my Visa from this place. I asked about it and was told I had "pre-authorized" this charge when I was last in for labs on 9/1, at which time I paid the co-pays for the previous months labs.

But, I was in on 9/1 and the "pre authorization" in their system was dated. 9/4.

Ummm, no, I did not pre-authorize anything, and confirmed this with Capitol One, who showed nothing on their system and said the charge on 9/19 was manually entered in this company's home state.

The tier one folks answering the phones all have some spiel about a mandatory pre-authorization policy at the time of service, and that the phlebotomist is responsible for not informing me of this and fully explaining it.

The supervisor then admitted there is no written policy, and, of course there was no pre-authorization because I would have received notification of it and Capitol One would have a record of it.

They did this fraudulently, I suspect. They will never be given my credit card to swipe again.

I finally spoke with a supervisor in Patient Advocacy at their executive offices, who tried to give me the same s--t, but said she would investigate. I looked these people up on the BBB, they are not accredited by the BBB, and there have been a number of complaints for the same thing over the past couple of years.

I made another one. Grrrrr.


On a positive note I have cleared first level screening, which included a background check, just need to be fingerprinted and then am about to become a certified volunteer with a hospice unit here.

I will do indirect service, as they call it, like crocheting prayer shawls and helping out in the office. Might have direct contact with hospice patients at some point, but not just yet.

Had an email from Ray Eklund over the weekend.....for those who know of his witty and informative posts, he is alive and well, but I don't know if he will be back here.

Having a large glass of wine as I try to wind down from my day.


Maggie
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Old 09-21-2015, 07:15 PM   #840
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I think I need a super-jumbo wine glass like Olivia uses in " Scandal".

So huge she holds it with two hands.....not that full, but looks rather like sipping wine from a fish bowl.

She just looks so...so...so Olivia.

I have a green, recycled glass goblet Doug bought on Nantucket when we spent a week there in 1996, which I of course love. We actually had two, but he dropped one years ago, and it shattered. So glad it was not me that did that.

I want a glamorous wine goblet.....a really big wine goblet.


Maggie
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