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Old 07-28-2015, 12:07 PM   #575
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hi Maggie.. sorry to hear about Doug's Mom... I share you feelings on the situation and she probably does too... just wishing for the best for her.. and always for you... hugs and love, gail
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Old 07-28-2015, 12:24 PM   #576
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Maggie, your change of plans is certainly understandable. You would not be able to enjoy the trip, as your concern for her would weigh on you to be sure. The U.P. will be there when the timè is right. Stay strong. God bless. Evelyn.
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Old 07-28-2015, 12:32 PM   #577
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Doug's mom has a 5cm, malignant mass in her lower abdomen. They are doing a CT scan this afternoon to determine if there is any metastasis, and looking at hospice. She's ready to go.

Doug would say life doesn't owe her a thing, and she would agree. I just want her to be comfortable, and to have a peaceful and pain free end to her very long, very healthy, very active and very productive life.

This woman lived thru the Depression as one of 8 children on a farm in Iowa, then raised two small children by herself after her husband died suddenly in 1953. She could milk a cow, drive a wagon, sew, quilt, and cook, prepare, and preserve anything you can think of.

She then lived alone on the farm, after her second husband died in 2008, until almost her 97th birthday, driving herself the mile into town for the Senior Center, grocer, and whatever else she needed....long past when she could or should have done this in any but a very small, rural community .....finally going into assisted living last November.

I remember her telling me some years ago that she would not remarry until her children were grown and on their own.....as, having been a school teacher since the days of one room schoolhouses, she had seen too many men lose their heads over their step daughters. What a woman. Doug was in college and his sister married for several years before she got married for the second time.....tho she says she had several offers. .

A good woman, and a strong one. I'm glad to have known her, and to have heard her stories of the Depression and life on a farm in Iowa....also to have the quilt she made of feed sacks, which she gave to me a number of years ago.


Going to be 92 degrees here today, with a heat index of up to 110 degrees....hot and humid.

I spent a small fortune at the grocer this morning, as I returned home with a near empty frig and no fresh produce whatsoever.

I had a yearning for my favorite refrigerator pickles, so put those together and in the refrigerator to set. These are the sweet & sour kind, easy for anyone to make....at home or on the road, where produce stands are so plentiful. They are yummy.

Unless gifting them....not this time ....I like to do them in one big jar, as they are so pretty to look at, and use my food processor for quick work, but a mandolin on the road would achieve the same end.


REFRIGERATOR PICKLES

7 cups thinly sliced, seeded cucumber....I leave part of the peel on, also seed them unless I can find little ones
1 thinly sliced, medium onion
1 thinly sliced green pepper, or mix red and green pepper
1 small jar chopped pimiento, drained

1 cup apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon salt
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon each celery and mustard seed

Mix the vegetables together well and stuff into one large, or several smaller, jars....original recipe calls for 4 pint jars. Bring the ACV, salt, sugar and seeds to a boil, pour over vegetables, cover and refrigerate. These keep in the frig about 3 months, and are delicious.


Maggie
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Old 07-28-2015, 12:54 PM   #578
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Thank you, both.

I may do some poking around closer to home.....but only if I can have electricity.


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Old 07-28-2015, 02:07 PM   #579
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Those pickles look good already.
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Old 07-29-2015, 01:28 PM   #580
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Doug's mom is being discharged this afternoon, going into the skilled nursing care section of the facility she had been in before, and has been referred to Hospice.

The malignancy has not metastasized, although the growth is larger than initially believed....6.5 cm, so it has been growing a long time. She is taking it in stride, her spirits are good, she is ready to go, just wants to be comfortable. Doug's kids have all been up to see her.

What a woman.


I received just before I left for NM a check made out to Doug's "Estate"....a refund of something the SOI illegally deducted from our little worker-bee pensions ....and which requires that I complete a Small Estate Affidavit to deposit it into an estate account.....after the legal department at the bank goes over what I submitted and approves me opening the estate account into which I must deposit this check.

It arrived on Saturday before I left the next day, so I just stuck it in my lockbox til I returned, and am dealing with that this week. A bit of a PIA, but intended to safeguard from crooks and abuse, I am sure, and my attorney has helped me with it.

One of the things I have learned...on many fronts, not just since widowhood....is that if something doesn't make sense to speak with a person in higher authority.

I am dealing with the assistant manager at my bank on this, as I got bad information from a lower level person last year on something else, then again Monday when I called about this matter. It didn't sound right, and it wasn't.

People can say things with such a ring of confidence and certainty that they are accurate....even when they are not. .

Someone here advised me early on after Doug's death to get more certified copies of his death certificate than I thought I would need, which I did....and needed another one today. I still have a few left.....

The pickles are quite yummy, and look so pretty in my frig. Easy to make, and a good way to consume some summer veggies.


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Old 07-29-2015, 02:05 PM   #581
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Maggie, send all of our love and prayers on to Doug's Mom. I pray she does not have to endure pain.
On the subject of Estate acct: the manager of the bank Joe used advised me at the beginning to set up an estate acct. To deal with such things, and she assisted me in doing so. They kept a copy of Joe's last will & testament, death certificate, (and some other papers I don't recall names of) on file for our accts. after about 2 yr mark, I closed all his accts, but, keep mine open. It's been almost 3 yrs now, and just a couple weeks ago, another little check trickled in. No problem in cashing it, as they still maintain all those certified copies in my acct. files.
You are right in dealing with lower level employees can lead to problems. Although it was a difficulty for me at the time, I learned to appreciate the fact that Joe named me as executrix in all matters of his estate. Early on, I realized it was a waste of time to deal with anyone other than the highest level in all matters. I always went straight "to the top", as I found those people to be most knowledgeable and responsible...and most willing to assist a recent widow with trying issues. They certainly saved me a lot of stress at a hard time.
I still have extra certified copies of all those important papers, filed away, but, within easy reach, and have needed to access them a few times in past 3 years. I was advised to keep them for at least 10 yrs, maybe more. True, a PIA, but, needed.
From all I learned during that time, it has caused me to plan accordingly, so that my daughter will not be burdened with plowing through the process and trying to figure things out. I'm doing all I can to make it less difficult for her. Just hope it works.
God bless. Evelyn.
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Old 07-29-2015, 02:42 PM   #582
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Thank you, Evelyn.

If I had opened an Estate Account at the bank, deposited appropriate monies into it, then paid funeral expenses and medical bills from it.....the funeral expenses would have been tax deductible. That's a biggie.

Instead, the small bit of life insurance we carried was attached to an annuity, and was taxable. I paid a good chunk of taxes in April, because of that, and the funeral expenses....on which I applied all of the life insurance, plus other monies because that was not enough....were not deductible.

I think that may have been recommended at some point, but I just didn't have the oomph to deal with it, and didn't think it would make that much difference. It would have been beneficial to me, if I had just taken the time and made the effort.

Doug's name is still on our joint checking and savings, and I did open a Memorial Account....not at my bank, which gave bad information, so I went elsewhere....in which to deposit those funds, and then send on to Faithworks.

I hadn't thought I needed to keep the Estate Account open more than long enough to cash the check, but you're right, Evelyn......wouldn't hurt to keep it open another year or two, just in case, or I might have to do all this stuff all over again.

Thanks for that info.


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Old 07-29-2015, 04:01 PM   #583
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Re: estate acct., I kept a small amt of $ in it just to maintain it as open. Check to determine minimum required to avoid penalty fees. Ask your bank to keep and record the appropriate certified forms, (mentioned in my post)...this prevents you from needing to carry them around with you, should it be needed in future.
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Old 07-29-2015, 04:07 PM   #584
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Good ideas.

Asst. Manager told me no fee if over 62, no minimum balance, no early closure penalty.....not what the teller told me.

A bit ugly to fee a widow or survivors for an insufficient balance in an account they have to open to cash a check to a deceased loved one.


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Old 07-30-2015, 07:11 AM   #585
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I love this.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:22 AM   #586
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And this....
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:36 AM   #587
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Doug and I cut and installed these trellis onto the front porch posts of the little house in the late fall of 2013.

I wanted to plant ivy, to enhance privacy a bit....and because I love ivy on trellis .....so as to be able to look thru them in the mornings....especially sunny mornings....thru the pretty glass items I have on small shelving he installed in my front windows.

Last spring, I planted without him the ivy at the base of the trellis, and have nurtured and nudged its growth up and thru the trellis.

It has filled out and grown.....kind of like my life these past 17 months.


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Old 07-30-2015, 10:35 AM   #588
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ummm

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And this....
the one, everything is after, brought a tear to my eye I actually said "ohhh" out loud!!! made the dog look up...
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