A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

Pretty scarf....more deep red than this shows.

[ColoradoLady]

Maggie,
I know of your love of roses. I have so many roses throughout my gardens...front and back yard gardens. I can't get enough! Some of them are 34 years old and beautiful. I also have many lovely peonies as well. We lost a few roses last winter in a month long deep freeze, replaced a few this spring. I've turned the gardening task over to my daughter, Debbie, who enjoys it as much as I had. As we approach fall, the gardens are full of new blooms and buds. Roses bring so much joy to us and to our neighbors who come by daily to enjoy them up close. So nice to share. God bless. Evelyn.

[Lily&Me]

I agree, Evelyn.

I came to love roses because Doug began giving them or sending them to me the day after our first date in 1986, and continued this til he died.

They became a symbol for us over the years, and he once bought me a beautiful print of roses that hangs over our bed.

I put red and yellow roses on his casket, then began coming across things like pajamas with roses on them.....first winter ones, then summer. I believe he guided me to them, so that I would be surrounded and embraced by roses during the worst of my grief that first year. That's the kind of thing he would do in life.

I still come across roses and hearts....he wants me to know he is there, that's what I believe. I know he would if he could, and believe that he does. It comforts me.


Parted from my friends as they headed west on Hwy 6, me east into Iowa City, and hooked up with Doug's daughter and her family by early afternoon. We had a lovely, leisurely, hanging out afternoon, talking and catching up....and drinking a small bit of wine. ...then pizza for dinner. No muss, no fuss.

Alice is doing her bedtime routine, will spend some extra time with Grandma in the am, then I will take her to school. Perfect.

Been a wonderful few days, I have felt surrounded by love.... and am nearly talked out.

Doug's daughter loaned me "The Year of Magical Thinking", which I have never read....about a woman's first year of loss.

Going to start on that tonight.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival......audre lord"

So true....embrace and surround yourself with those who are good, kind, honorable and decent human beings.

Separate yourself...at least emotionally...from those who are not, and especially those who would do you harm.....then leave them in the dust behind you.


Maggie

[Pagey]

"The Year of Magical Thinking" is an excellent book. I read it after my mother died. I hope you enjoy it.

[tallytwo1994]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

Doug leads me to roses, you know....to remind me that he, his love and his strength are near, and still there for me.

A small purchase in an antique shop yesterday. I will find a place to hang it in my kitchen.


Maggie

Maggie,

My mother-in-law passed down several pot holders in that same rose pattern that she made, red and pink too. She was much like you, always crocheting. My mother too, but my mother-in-law did a lot of decorative patterns and there were a ton of afghans and doilies stached away that we found after her death. I have two of her doilies that were about half finished and attached by a common thread. As she unraveled one she crocheted the second. Wish I knew which one was being crocheted and which was being unraveled, they are both very pretty patterns. One day I intend to frame it as a visual reminder of the saying "Waste not Want not".


As always, it's fun to travel along on your adventures with, and without, your companion Miss Lily.


Carol

[cwf]

"What I learned from my Grandparents".... Good, short read..

What My Grandparents Taught Me about Love and Forgiveness | Parenting

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Carol and Page.

I saw a lot of those very intricate, two layer pot holders, done in thread....a medium I avoid, as too tiny and tedious for me. I admire those who can do it, and now own one for myself.


Channing....I can forgive some, but not all.

There are people who set out....deliberately, methodically and intentionally.... to do harm. Some on a small scale, some on a large scale. The large scale doers are people to stay away from, as they have no conscience and no remorse. I do believe these people eventually have to pay up, at some point.

I don't want to get into a philosophical discussion, for lots of reasons, not the least of which is the Mods here will get on us both. I have likely seen things even you have not, my friend, so trust me on that.

I am now the primary caregiver of me, and when I read this.....I identified with it.


Dropped Alice off at school this am, then headed home, dumping the tanks on the way. Gathered up Miss Lily, who was soooooo glad to see me., and we are home.

As of 5pm tonight, I will have sold both of my bike hitch racks on Craigslist....so very glad to have them out of my garage.


Maggie

[ColoradoLady]

Maggie,
I identify with your comment re: some people who (unbelievably) spend much of their time doing harm to others. Their's is a type of behavior I could never understand, abide, or forgive...no matter who the intended victim might be. I eventually came to understand that most people are good, decent, moral, and kind. There are others who are, to say the least...morally bankrupt. Ones to stay far away from! So sad.
Philosophically...."change what you can, accept what you can't change, let go of the rest, pray for them all."!

[Lily&Me]

Lily is always exhausted after she gets back from staying at my son's. Poor baby.

When the kids are home and up, there is constant noise and activity.....none of that deep couch napping she gets to do here throughout the day.

She also has not eaten a bite of food since returning home more than 24 hours ago, tho ate well every day over there. I wonder if she is a bit depressed. .

She doesn't seem ill, all bodily functions seem to be working normally and she has had her walk with her usual gusto and delight.

Doug would call this "the personification of animals"....attributing to animals the attributes and afflictions of humans.

What can I say.....it's what we animal lovers do.

Makes me feel kind of bad....but I always come back, and she knows that.

I say that, but of course her beloved Grandpa just disappeared one day and never returned.

Sigh.


Maggie

[ColoradoLady]

I'm hoping your dear Lilly will settle back in soon. Don't we wish we could know their thoughts? When I go away, even for one or two days...mine seem uncertain about what is going on. They depend on us , love us, need our companionship...much like us, with the exception that we can talk and they can't. Poor Lilly may think you'll leave again. We can only wonder of their thoughts. She may only be missing running and playing with the kids.

[Lily&Me]

Anyone who has suddenly lost a loved one should read. "The Year of Magical Thinking".

The writer so exceptionally captures the physical and emotional disorientation one experiences that, although familiar, there is enough reliving the experience that I must read this book in bits and pieces.

She writes of the 911 operator asking "Is he breathing?". "Just come", she replied.

I remember the 911 operator asking me questions about Doug's birthdate, medical history, etc. What? I told her my husband wasn't breathing and I couldn't talk to her....and then she called me back, telling me this information was important. What!!?? I can't talk to you right now, I told her, and hung up the phone while screaming out the door for help and starting CPR.

Small doses of this book for me, right now, tho it is very well written and reminds me, once again......we are all more alike than we are different.


Maggie

[tallytwo1994]

Perhaps Lily is depressed because she also misses those grandchildren. It may be she wishes you all lived together so she could be with everyone she loves.

Carol

[DIR1]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

Pretty scarf....more deep red than this shows.

by the way, I love this scarf!!!!

[DIR1]

Originally Posted by DIR1

by the way, I love this scarf!!!!

following right behind your post, that seem inappropriate...

[Lily&Me]

It's quite alright, Gail.

It really is a lovely scarf. Have promised Val I will take a selfie with it on and the waters of Greece in the background.

I'll do my best.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Originally Posted by tallytwo1994

Perhaps Lily is depressed because she also misses those grandchildren. It may be she wishes you all lived together so she could be with everyone she loves.

Carol

Mmmmm, possibly.

She loves them, but I am definitely her person, the one she loves the best and the most.

She seems to be perking up, and ate some dog food last night. She might have eaten a weed or something that upset her tummy a bit.

I hate to see her sad.


Pulling things together for my trip, going to do a mock pack to make final determinations as to what I am taking.

I like this part, too.


Maggie

[Foiled Again]

Originally Posted by Lily&Me

I don't think I will have room....carry on luggage only.

I am going to wear my modified sandals between now and then, to see how they do.

I could just slip the levelers into my luggage.....they won't take up any space at all.


Maggie

Take the safe/ugly shoes. Almost anything else you can do without, or buy overseas. Wash your delicates in the sink, roll them in a towel and stomp on them to get them nearly dry. Ditto for any other item of clothing except perhaps jeans... But in a warm dry climate even they should dry out overnight (turn them inside out, so if they're still damp it'll be on the outside.) Live in 2 outfits for the whole trip, but keep your feet comfortable or you'll be miserable the whole time.

Have a great time too!

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Paula.

Have fun at Alumalina, give big John Leake (the ringmaster) a hug from Maggie, please.

I love John.....one of the most decent, kind and good people I have ever known.


Maggie

[DIR1]

(Quote) Live in 2 outfits for the whole trip...

OK to that!! as long as the scarf goes with both!!! hugs and love to all, gail