A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

House is cleaned, laundry done, mattress flipped and bed remade…it is Friday at the little house.

I like getting all of these things done on Fridays, the basic choring, and then Saturday mornings are for leisurely coffee, walking Lily, doing whatever.

We are supposed to have a beautiful fall weekend, and may make an early run tomorrow up to the forest preserve north of here so that Miss Lily can rip around a bit.


I was going through bookmarked and saved-to-Pocket articles recently, deleting ones I’ve read and/or don’t feel a need to keep indefinitely.

I came across this one, which I really enjoyed and may actually have posted before, but here it is again, along with this little bandaid-ed meme that goes with it.

https://knowyourdragons.com

So helpful to read this, so encouraging toward a path of understanding ourselves and others, leading with compassion for those that are struggling, etc.

I do try every day to be a better human, and read something on my recent train trip about the importance of forgiving yourself the maladaptive coping mechanisms you have used in the past, as basically when you know better you do better.

The latter requires relative peace and calm in one’s life, in my experience, as crisis mode for whatever reason has us primarily surviving …reacting, retreating into what we know best, drawing on past experiences, etc., then regrouping and processing when the dust settles.

Now that I have disclosed here my decades of dealing with PTSD, I will also share that when I come across a bully…and they do seem to be attracted to me, a conversation I had with the medium last year, but that’s another story …my first emotional response is almost always to freeze and put on a mask of superficiality, so that I can function and get thru until I am able to more fully process whatever.

And address it.

When I in my work life would be assigned a new family, as soon as feasible I would sit down with the adults and any older kids to do a thorough social history, , as we are all where we have come from, and understanding my families history helped me in helping them.

So much trauma carried by so many, and I would tell my clients…facing the need for major change in how they lived their lives…that few of the people you see have had a perfect life, with perfect parents, no abuse or neglect, basic needs always met, etc., but that we learn to function in spite of our experiences…and sometimes because of them…most of us basically held together with super glue and safety pins, I would tell them.

Many struggled to comprehend that functioning others they saw, with seemingly perfect lives, had actually experienced the same struggles they had, and knowing we share common experiences but learn to function in spite of them often gave them hope.

And, yes, I was a very good caseworker, tho a very, very poor bureaucrat.

At any rate, this article is a good reminder to treat ourselves and others with compassion and empathy, as we are all the end product of our experiences to date…the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Be kind to yourself, and try to lead with compassion when you come across another who seems to be struggling.

Most of us are this meme, is the truth.

I love it.

[Lily&Me]

I have some pretty cotton blend yarns from a pile of chemo caps I made awhile back, so am going to make some baby hats.

I have used this pattern before, it is easy and soooooo cute!

https://yarndork.wordpress.com/2009/...y-hat-pattern/

[Lily&Me]

We’re having some warmer days here in central Illinois and it seemed a good time to do some more “ridding out”, particularly of cold weather things that haven’t been worn in years but could be used by others.

So, I gathered up a large pile of sweatshirts, fleece, jackets, etc….and this heavy wool jacket sweater that was Doug’s “coldest days at the little house” apparel…and took them to the Mission donation bin, where all items go to locals in need.

I wore this sweater a few times myself in those first couple of winters in the “after”, but it has now sat unworn most of 10 years…so it’s time.

Somewhere, Doug is pursing his lips in a wry smile, and nodding his head.

[Hittenstiehl]

Someone is going to wear that nice sweater and be so glad for the extra warmth without knowing any back story. But you will know it was donated in love with so much story.

Cute hat, someday were going to sit next to each other and I'm going to get my "crochet in a circle" figured out.

I know there are instructions and online tutorials but....

[Lily&Me]

Hi there, and yes, donated with a back story.

It’s a wool sweater, heavy and very warm, and I look for it to be put to good use.

I like being able to donate locally, for the most part, whether that is clothing, hats/scarves or cash to the food pantry.

Last year or the year before, whenever I donated the fleece lined sweatshirt jacket of Doug’s that I had actually worn quite a lot, I dropped it off somewhere that took clothing items because the Mission no longer accepted them.

Not sure whether that was a Covid holdover, bedbugs risk, space issue or what, but they now have a donation bin for clothing only that is about halfway between my house and the Mission, itself, which is very handy and where I dropped off a couple of bags of hats and scarves a week or so ago.

Household items that don’t go into the box I’ve started for the grands go to Goodwill, and I have no idea how those are distributed, but they are less personal.


The hat really is quite adorable, and I’ve made three more in that and another pattern since I finished the first one.

I’m on my last little ball of yarn big enough for a baby hat, then it will be back to adult hats and scarves for awhile.

I’m going to make a few hooded cowls, too.


We are having a spell of warm-ish weather, and today is day 3 without a fire, tho temps will then drop 40 degrees overnight and into more seasonable temperatures.

My red leaf maple in the front yard is finally turning to its glorious fall colors, also the burning bush.

And I will be glad happy to coach you when the time comes, Hittenstiehl.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I finished “Last Christmas in Paris”, by Hazel Gaynor and Heather Webb, last night and it was very good.

https://www.amazon.com/Last-Christma...2c9e6e5ddfeea5

Historical fiction, set before and during WWI, and focused primarily around letters to/from the main characters, as well as telegrams.

I’ve read so much set during this time or WWII that historical bits and pieces from one book turn up in another, but that’s okay, each having their own twists and turns.

It doesn’t seem to ever get old, as I feel almost viscerally driven to learn and understand particularly WWI, for some reason, which both my maternal grandparents served in…he a surgeon, she a nurse, both in field hospitals in France throughout the war.

The letters in this book reminded me of those to/from a cousin during the Civil War, which were saved by he and other family members, eventually transcribed to print and included in recent years in this volume.

Which the author kindly gifted me a couple of years ago, he a good friend of my late cousin, a Confederate Re-enactor and Civil War historian in southern Mississippi.

What struck me reading “Last Christmas in Paris” was what must surely be a commonality with all wars…young men bravely going off to fight, letters home initially full of optimism and patriotism, volunteer soldiers becoming conscription, the reality of death, dying, hunger, cold, despair, etc., settling in and becoming the grim focus.

As with Tom and Will in this novel, so was it with my cousin, George Lea.

George was killed at the Battle of Franklin, TN, his body buried near the battlefield by his servant, Kemp, who had accompanied him throughout his service…given the time, Kemp and George were likely raised together.

Kemp then made his way back to southern Mississippi to get George’s father and his “Uncle Jim”, my great-great grandfather, then led them back to the grave to retrieve George’s body and return it for burial in the family cemetery.

The “housewife” was with George’s things when he was killed, and along with the letters remains with the family to this day.

The cemetery where George is buried with other ancestors, on the hill behind the house in Amite County, finished in 1818, still standing and that I have written of here before.

And which I was able to get inside of some years back when it was for sale, standing in my sock feet on the original floorboards of this house that my great grandmother and great-great grandfather were born in.

I could go on and on.

At any rate, “Last Christmas in Paris” is very much worth a read.

[Lily&Me]

I have had this stand mixer 15-18 years, maybe, and tho I don’t use it daily or even weekly it comes in very handy.

The mixer has been a bit ill for awhile, finally struggling enough to beat properly that I got on the phone this morning with KitchenAid customer service.

Who directed me to a couple of short YouTube videos that showed me how to fix it with a flat head screwdriver.

Just a matter of knowing which and where, easy peasy.

So I’ve fixed it, all by myself, called them back to say thank you, and that a woman who will be 75 on her next birthday just repaired her own stand mixer.

[Nelson428]

That is a super great mixer and I am glad they helped you fix it and you were able to make the repairs. Congratulations.

[Lily&Me]

Thank you, Nelson, I do feel rather proud of myself.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Lily has had a good run at the forest preserve north of town this morning, and I’ve gotten a start on fall leaves…tho they are, in fact, falling without having completely turned…and baked this little apple cobbler from Joanie’s One Dish Kitchen.

Uses one apple, very little sugar and no butter but for that to grease the little baking dish.

https://onedishkitchen.com/apple-cobbler-recipe/

I used Splenda Brown in the filling, which then cuts the sugar by half, added a sprinkle of nutmeg, and it is delicious.

Next time I will use a larger baker and double the apple, or add a cup of fresh cranberries.

Made the little house smell heavenly, very fall-ish.

[Lily&Me]

Leaf removal both Saturday and Sunday , and most of what was down in the front yard is now at the curb…tho leaves were still falling as I was removing, and I could haul the blower out again this morning, but I don’t feel like it.


I have had a Kohl’s charge card for probably 20 years, and have found it useful particularly for their great sales with the 30% off a total purchase coupon that they send me regularly.

I’d had one of those coupons sitting on the little table by my favorite chair for a week or so, trying to decide if there was anything warranting a purchase before it expired…I don’t need clothes, towels, a toaster oven or whatever, and the grands are beyond the age where I can pick clothing items out for them and purchase ahead for Christmas… so was thinking I might just pitch it when into my head the other day came “get a new comforter for the bed with that Kohls coupon”.

Seriously, exactly that.

Which I’d actually been wanting for awhile, the one on there purchased in the after but which I’ve had so many years I am just ready to look at something else.

The Tuesday Morning here closed permanently during Covid, and it was my favorite place for beautiful bedding at deeply discounted prices, and that’s where the last one came from, so I just haven’t really looked.

So, I got onto the Kohls website and within a couple of minutes had found this beautiful comforter with pillow shams…with its sale price, my 30% off coupon and another coupon was just $89, plus tax, so I smiled to myself, ordered it, and it’s on its way.

Antique roses, with Doug’s and my anniversary in a few days.

And, he knows I love a bargain.

Like the gorgeous hair clips I felt prompted to find at TJMaxx last year.

https://www.airforums.com/forums/f16...ml#post2646854

Is Doug in his spirit life finding me roses, occasionally nudging me to them, and so still sending me roses on special occasions?

I think so.

I believe.

[Nelson428]

Beautiful choice. Life is all about good memories. We all need then when life changes they are a must. I bet it’s gonna be warm this winter.

[Lily&Me]

Thanks, Nelson, and it is arriving today.

It has been a busy week here at the little house, with two medical appointments already for me and Lily to the vet yesterday for her annual checkup and shots.

She’s lost 4lbs since her last visit, for some reason, and he liked that her slightly chubby self was a bit less so.

We discussed her hips issue, he observed her and recommended a new something that can only be given by monthly injection at the office, so I opted for a dog version of ibuprofen for inflammation for now.

We’ll see how she does with that, along with the glucosamine now in month two.

I’m hoping to get 6-8 weeks of travel in this winter, then again this summer, tho that is still uncertain I ideally need to be able to treat her myself.


I made a third pass over the front yard with the leaf blower and rake on Tuesday, finishing about a half hour before the guys from the city came up our street with their big leaf-sucking machine.

My yard guy will do the back yard leaf removal in the next week or two, and fall chores will be about finished at the little house.

We’ve had a spell of warmer weather, then more seasonable cold begins tomorrow for the indefinite future…good weather for Thanksgiving turkey roasting.

Grandma will bring rolls and dessert, leaving the heavy lifting to my son & his, and I felt not one sliver of guilt.

Maggie

[Spartanfam]

So awesome to hear that you repaired your KitchenAid stand mixer. I work for KitchenAid, and my father was an engineer there in the 1970s as well. They are built to literally last a lifetime. I have one from the 1970s I cleaned up, painted, and gifted to my in-laws.
Like Airstreams... they still build these 'like they used to'... just downstate from Jackson Center.

[Lily&Me]

Hi there, and thank you.

I bought this at Tuesday Morning, whenever that was , expecting I would eventually pass it on to a grandchild, perhaps, and I do love it.

I was delighted to find a very simple fix.

I like to knead bread by hand, when I make that kind of bread , but it is great to give it a good start with the dough hook.

Creaming butter, sugar, eggs…nothing beats that stand mixer.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Carl Jung defined synchronicity as “meaningful coincidence”, and for those of us who believe our loved ones gone can and do communicate with us from the other side…if only we pay attention…synchronicity is the occasional coming together of a series of signs, special and significant to us.

So, I’ve written here about the new bedspread arriving today that I felt prompted to look for at Kohl’s…which was there, in an antique rose pattern and on sale.

Then last night I had the most vivid dream that Doug and I were back in Paris…I had gone off for an early morning walk while he was still sleeping, had somehow gotten lost and in the midst of being in and out of various places trying to find my way, I had left my tote bag somewhere but picked up somebody elses’s.

So I didn’t have my phone, wallet, nothing, didn’t know where I was relative to our hotel but at one point was by the Seine in the early dawn…where the antique booksellers were setting up to open for the day.

At one point, I found the French police, told them I’d lost my bag, didn’t have my phone or know where I was but had someone else’s bag and phone, and they had to find someone who spoke English…then I suddenly woke up.

But, a dream that we were in Paris, where we went to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, and the antique roses bedspread arriving today.

This morning I went out to Meier to pick up a few things and use up their coupons before they expire, and as I am heading to checkout there was a girls sweatshirt on a rack right by the aisle I walked down…in a pretty pink, and with “PARIS” on the front.

Coincidence??? I think not.

This week would be our anniversary, Doug is letting me know he is still around and has not forgotten.

One has to believe some things can occur in order to experience them, is the truth.

Maggie

[Debbie Ray]

Maggie,
My vet prescribed Adequan for my dog’s hip issue. It’s an arthritis treatment that is done by injection. They showed me how to do it, really easy, and gave me several syringes filled with the proper dose. On the first day of the month I inject her under the skin at the nap of the neck. No fuss from her and easy for me. She has been taking it for about 3 months and I’m not sure we’ve seen much change yet. The vet said it would take longer to help because of the subcutaneous injection vs. intramuscular. I was willing to wait longer for results so that I could do the injections, particularly when we are traveling.
Debbie

[Lily&Me]

Hi, Debbie, and thanks for that information.

I did ask the vet if these were injections I could give, since he said it was the most ideal treatment, and he said no but that most vets would have it and I could probably get it anywhere I was in the country.

Personally, I think that unlikely, that any vet would take in a dog not known to them to give an injection on request.

I’ll see how the anti inflammatory works, along with the glucosamine, and go from there.

Maggie

[coloradoup]

Great job on the mixer repair!

[Lily&Me]

Thank you.

I’m rather proud of myself.

Maggie