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Old 07-23-2015, 05:42 PM   #533
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Thank you, Evelyn.

Dougs mom apparently has a UTI, fairly serious one, apparently, but at least that is eminently treatable.

I should be in Iowa on Saturday.


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Old 07-24-2015, 06:39 AM   #534
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Sunrise at the campground my last morning at Chaco.

The air is so clear and beautiful here.


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Old 07-24-2015, 01:39 PM   #535
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Much of yesterday was following the old Santa Fe trail, today an old Stagecoach line. I love it.

We are stopped for lunch and a potty break for Miss Lily at a nice rest area on Rt. 9, somewhere in Kansas......shade, large grassy area with playground equipment and picnic tables.

If it weren't so early in the day, we could spend the night right here.


We have a parenting system in ours that struggles mightily, and has left a field littered with the debris of their and their children's lives.

I can do nothing, as I have done what I can while these children are minors, but it is fixin' to blow again and I am asking from you good people that prayers, well wishes, whatever you do in your belief system, please be sent to 5 children who need strength and extraordinary ability to persevere in the face of great adversity.

Thank you.


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Old 07-24-2015, 02:51 PM   #536
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Prayers for you, yours and the children. Calm and steady in the storm.
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Old 07-24-2015, 05:04 PM   #537
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Thank you.

Talking with Doug as I drove today....who I envisioned thrashing in his grave..... I asked him to watch over the children, to help me cope, and to help them as he could.

Soon after, I stopped to fuel up and found one of those old fashioned, large, theatre-style, popcorn makers when I went inside the station to use the facilities.

Popcorn....now, how often do you see a popcorn maker in a gas station/convenience store?

And, popcorn.....one of Doug's favorite foods, and something he could eat any time of any day. He was the popcorn guru at our house, and made it on the stove, then lightly buttered and salted.

The first time I did his popcorn after he died, I told him I knew he was salivating and to help himself, if he could.

I believe, you know, that Doug guides me to things that remind me of him, to let me know he is there.

He was letting me know he knew, and would do what he could.


102 degrees in Belleville, KS, and we are in a city park here for the night that we have stayed at before.

Electricity is not an option, but a necessity.


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Old 07-24-2015, 06:20 PM   #538
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Praying that the trouble you are anticipating will be dissipated before you arrive.
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Old 07-24-2015, 06:55 PM   #539
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Thank you. I wish it would dissipate.....

The good news is that Doug's mom left the hospital today, and is back to her old self, according to Doug's sister.

97 1/2.


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Old 07-24-2015, 08:02 PM   #540
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Miss Maggie, prayers and positive thoughts for all. It takes great strength and courage for children to pick up the pieces of a broken family. Hopefully the siblings can bond...
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:14 PM   #541
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Thank you, Channing.

I just wish it would STOP.


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Old 07-24-2015, 08:52 PM   #542
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Oh Maggie, my prayers and my heart goes out to you as you worry over the children. We won't need to know details, just knowing there is a need is plenty. My dtr, Debbie and I send up our prayers and will dedicate our rosaries to you, the children, and their parents.

This may give encouragement, I hope: When my youngest daughter, Lynn died of breast cancer,she left behind, 2 of her own daughters... An 11 year old, of a prior marriage, and a 6 year old of this marriage. The Dad doted on the 6 year old, but, the 11 year old daughter was more or less ignored in her grief, used as a housekeeper and babysitter for the little sister. You can imagine the stress created on an 11 yr old girl, as she tried to grieve her loss, while being forced into an adult role. The Dad even removed all the portraits of Lynn...said it made him sad, and he "had to move on!"

We were forbidden to call the girls, as he said, we were no longer family. These babies were left at that! The little one could only remember her Mom as sick in bed, then, gone. After a while , the older girl fell apart,rebelled, ran away, ran into trouble, dropped out of school. Of course this escalated over time. The first I learned of it was when the Dad called me months later to tell me if she showed up at my house, I was welcome to see if I could "do anything."
She eventually showed up at my door...hardly the same child I knew before...angry, hellbčnt on self destruction. I tried to help pick up the pieces, but, by this time, she was too resistant, and wild...she had been on the run several months. She stayed about a month, ran off when I was at work. She eventually went back to Durango, but,not back home. She lived with friends, spiraled down some more, then began calling me for support, occasionally, then frequently.

She pulled herself up, went back to school, graduated, worked hard to rehabilitate herself and make amends for her mistakes, sought education to improve her life, met a nice fellow, married, now has 2 children, and manages a chain best western motel. Takes great pride in her accomplishments, is a terrific Mom and wife, and a loving granddaughter.

She even managed to find it in her heart to forgive her stepdad and move forward in that relationship as part of her family. (I Don't know that I could have been so gracious..) she and her sister have bonded and are very close. She is very close with me and Debbie., calls regularly, tells us how much she loves and needs us, and we of course reciprocate. She is very strong and confident, I'm sure, a product of the difficulties she experienced.

A long story, the moral of which is: given a loving strong and supportive family member or two, along with loads of prayers, children are more resilient than we expect. She also had some good friends who served as on site role models. We live 350 miles apart, separated by miles of mountain driving. I am sure your little ones will not have such trials as did these little ones. I gather that you are in close proximity to them, and that the divisiveness of a self entered stepdad is not part of their equation.

Maggie, any chance you get...hold these little ones close, give them the physical love, strength and support that is a part of you...you'll pull them through this, for you are a strong confident role model. God's Bessings on all of you! Evelyn.
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:56 PM   #543
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Thank you, Evelyn.

I just can't write about it all, but the prayers are needed.


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Old 07-24-2015, 09:10 PM   #544
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My dear Maggie,
Those prayers and rosaries are on the way! Take comfort in Doug's spirit, (ever close by), your own strength, and God's grace! God bless you! Evelyn.
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Old 07-25-2015, 07:34 AM   #545
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Thank you.

Everything seems better the next day.

I have to remind myself that I cannot fix all things.

Creating order out of chaos seems to be hard-wired in me, and I have to talk to myself at times to let go. My mantra needs to be "just because it is bad does not mean that I can...or should....fix it". I really hurt for children in bad situations.

The oldest of this group has just turned 18, is heading to community college and is choosing to move out on his own, which is good in many ways.

I can help him a bit, and he will have lots of grandparent support from the others. He's a good boy, and should be okay.


This is a pretty little city park on a lake, $20 per night.

Going to finish up Kansas today, cross Iowa, and visit the cemetery before seeing Doug's mom in the morning.


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Old 07-25-2015, 10:27 AM   #546
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Doug's mom was released yesterday, is back in the hospital this morning, bleeding from an unknown source. She has not had all diagnostic testing available, due to the stress of the preps. Is having another transfusion.

Sometimes, it just rains.

Am in Nebraska and following the old Oregon Trail today, and also found diesel for $2.44/gal.


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