A Different Life II

[Lily&Me]

Understanding and accepting that we are all a work in progress is an important life lesson... unless, in spirit-speak, you are one of those highly evolved souls who is simply here to show the rest of us less evolved the way.

I am certainly the former, not the latter, and work daily on a) realistic, honest assessment of whatever, b) trying to be the best version of myself, and c) not beating the inner me up over things I would have liked to have done differently, and/or otherwise cannot change.

Do your part, try your best with what you know at the time, learn from it, and go on. I work on it every day, but am not there yet.

I am a different person now than I was when I met Doug 30 years ago next month, and am still evolving into the me-without-him that must necessarily come from the sudden loss of that joined-at-the-hip, souls-and-heart-entwined, relationship of 27+ years.

I am beyond grateful for having had him in my life, but he's gone, and he's never coming back.

As my grief evolves, near 3 years out, and I feel like I have come out the other end of the worst of it, I see a much different me in many ways, and that is okay.

I am forward facing (most of the time), and consciously making decisions about what I would like to see in myself and the rest of the life that is remaining to me.

I am becoming more willing to shake things up a bit, and do some things differently, and less willing to accept some things that were easier to bear with him next to me.

A huge part of grief work is accepting the absence of the beloved other, and learning to co-exist peacefully with past...the good, the bad, and the ugly...while moving forward into a meaningful life without them.

It's an evolution of us, grief work is, and that is okay.

If you can't change it, embrace it, that's what I say.


Maggie

[Twinke58]

Maggie, I too make scones on Christmas time. I use some of the same ingredients that you use. But I do add dried cranberries to the mix. Yummie! I also use cream of tar tar. Comes in a power. An old scotch reicpe. Sounds yummie going to try yours. My honey that I use is local. Good stuff. Have a wounderful day.

Rachel
1962 Tradewind "Agnes"
WBCCI 9380


Sent from my iPhone using Airstream Forum

[Lily&Me]

Yum, Rachel.

I have a scone recipe that uses cranberries, orange rind, and orange juice, I think....fresh cranberries are on my shopping list, and I will have those made before the season is over.

I love cranberry with orange....something so compatible about those flavors.

Off to walk Miss Lily.


Maggie

[Fly at Night]

Cranberry and orange - a match made in heaven.

I know you like my food porn, Maggie. Here is my cranberry-orange chutney.

[Lily&Me]

That is beautiful, FaN.

You could just eat that with a spoon out of a pretty dish...who needs turkey.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I watched this movie last night, and it was excellent.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defiance_(2008_film)

Reviews are not as good as my opinion, but I beg to differ.

Based on a true story, and real events, I am humbled by their bravery and will to survive.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I had planned on taking myself in hand today, to clean up the far back for the end-of-season, but I just didn't want to.

Maybe tomorrow...or, Monday.

Instead, I washed up bedding, flipped the mattress, and hauled a great deal of wood...plus, walked Lily up to the detention basin north of here, where she can really rip around off leash. A happy girl.

Not too shabby a mornings' work, really.

Determined to finish a prayer shawl to take in to hospice on Monday, and have it well underway.

Not much news at the little house, but all is well.


Maggie

[DIR1]

Hi Maggie.. not much doing here either...watching the rain..watching some football.. tidied up a bit... easy saturday...keep enjoying yourself there... hugs and love from out here...

[Lily&Me]

And to you, Miss Gail.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Sweet son is in Las Vegas for a conference this week, so I took him to the airport this morning...as he kindly offered to leave his car with me.

Went to Meier first off, as I have not been in a grocery store in 2 weeks, and then made the mistake of walking thru their yarn department.

Lion Brand super bulky yarn was on sale, so I had to get some for the boys' hats, and then some additional, of course, to round out hats for my box for Faithworks.

I was getting low on yarn.

Going to get a few things done for the kidlings Christmas while I have wheels on the ground, and will appreciate having transportation to hospice and my needlework group this week, tho I have found being without a vehicle only mildly inconvenient....it being self imposed and time-limited makes it easier.

I've done it once out of financial necessity, which was not easy.

We had dense fog on the ground this morning, tho it has finally cleared away there will be no sun today.

A quiet day at the little house...going to crochet away the afternoon.

In just over a month, I will pack up and head south.


Maggie

[Lily&Me]

Yesterday I uploaded my DNA results from Ancestry and 23andMe here...

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/GEDMatch

It is free, for basic services, and provides some comparisons and information the other sites don't, also direct email access to DNA relatives who have also uploaded their DNA there.

No message boards that may not be checked for months or years.

It's all pretty fascinating....tho I look at those tables, see numbers everywhere, and my brain just goes .

It's actually not as complex as my brain wants to think, as the basics are set up for basic minds, like mine, so once I get past the initial fright...

According to GEDmatch, NPE's (Non-Parental Events) are fairly common....where a father somewhere along the line is not who he was believed to be...or, is unknown/undeclared due to illegitimacy, as in my case.

DNA may eventually solve the puzzle.

Thought I would share, for any who may be interested.

Maggie

[Lily&Me]

I like this...

[Hittenstiehl]

That, Maggie, is a very good one.

[Lily&Me]

We have had a lot of rain here today, with wind...good thing it was not snow, or we would be buried for days.

Did some running this morning, wet tho it was, and hospice volunteer this afternoon.

My list has lists, so it will be a full week-with-a-car.

Finished my prayer shawl, and have begun my last round of hats for Faithworks....with new yarn!

It's almost like buying new clothes, having something different running thru my fingers...kind of exciting, in a very simple way.

What can I say...I'm easily entertained these days.


Maggie