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Old 04-04-2015, 07:29 AM   #21
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Thank you, Bud.

I feel I have incorporated absent-Doug into my present life. I talk to him every day, and when I see something/someone that reminds me of him, I smile and say hello.

Still, life goes on and so must I. It is also what he would want, I feel certain,

It is serious work, transitioning from loving in presence, but I believe it is critical to do the work as it eventually makes all the difference in the quality of your life.



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Old 04-04-2015, 12:39 PM   #22
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Candles from Edisto shells.

Soy wax, wicks = candles from anything.

I love re-using glass for candles....now shells from a beloved place.


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Old 04-04-2015, 07:17 PM   #23
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Like, like, like!

Your candles are lovely, Maggie. Sourcing them from a beloved place makes them ever so special. I must learn to craft some candles in a similar manner. Thank you for being an inspiration to me.

Secondly, I actually thought of you as I walked past Dutch Ovens at Cabela's today. A year ago or more, I believe you mentioned the Mother Earth artisan DO bread recipe which I faithfully bookmarked. I imagine it remains your flagship recipe. It's not like me to purchase a DO without researching at length (errr, ad nauseam), but I'm likely to immerse myself in the coming months. We take delivery of our 27'FB Twin International Signature in a few weeks with our first road trip already planned.

Most important, I'm so pleased you have chosen to open another chapter in this forum! You apply a tender touch. Your writing has served to make me mindful of the present, past and future and that life is a delicate balance.

I'd like to imagine we might cross paths on the road someday, but until then, I will be reading your posts with interest.

Allyson


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Old 04-04-2015, 07:41 PM   #24
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Maggie
Glad you made it home & I like your new thread. Next time you are at Edisto pick up some sand dollars for the grand kids to dye. I dyed these with for my friends kids & they are a beautiful faded color. The kids dyed some & decorated some with glitter pens. They are too "old" (14) now to dye sand dollars anymore but they still have them which makes me smile.��
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Old 04-04-2015, 07:44 PM   #25
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Thank you, Allyson.

When I first discovered that bread recipe, it was late fall of 2013.

Who knew that delicious, homemade bread could be made without the toil and mess of kneading, kneading, kneading.

I have to credit someone else, whose idea I came upon, with the candles made from seashells. Not an original idea.

I placed several dozen shells....not made into candles nor saved in glass jars....in my rock bed by my front porch. The rock bed we made from the flower bed the first spring after we retired.....because I was not going to be home to faithfully water the pink impatiens I always placed there.

It now has numerous deposits of Edisto shells, plus shells from other places, rocks picked up here and there, and lots of Lake Superior rocks....which are very smooth and distinct.

And a few large, purchased and inscribed rocks, with Est. 1985, the names of Doug & I, and my two children.....the only people to have ever lived in this little house. I bought them when I had been here 25 years. Raised my children here, added Doug along the way.

Every time I go in or out of the house, I see life memories in my rock bed.


I have just watched a very good, but rather depressing, movie....The Other Woman, starring the very excellent Natalie Portman.


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Old 04-04-2015, 07:46 PM   #26
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Good idea, skitique!

I found two sand dollars there on St. Patrick's Day....side by side.



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Old 04-05-2015, 11:02 AM   #27
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My grand who live close, and their new puppy, Maisy.


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Old 04-05-2015, 04:18 PM   #28
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The Lily, of Lily&Me, taken by MsMoto as she served me cappucino at Alumalina.

Lily is not too sure what to do with this new puppy.

I really like not being the one to host holiday meals any more. Took homemade biscuits and jam, and cookies. My son made me tea, they did the cooking and clean-up.

I was the guest, and I liked it.


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Old 04-05-2015, 05:05 PM   #29
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Maggie....so very good to see you at Alumalina (and you were the FIRST visitor in the new trailer....which is somehow VERY appropriate). You look wonderful, and I think you have exactly the right outlook. Glenn and I (and the girls) are headed to the Region 3 rally in a few weeks, and are looking forward to traveling all summer. Hope our paths cross before the fall Alumalina. Hugs. Barry
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Old 04-05-2015, 05:09 PM   #30
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Thank you, Barry.

I got on my bike and went looking for you, if you recall.

If you get this direction, let me know. Planning on the UP in August and early September.

I won't be at Fall Alumalina, remember. Planning on March.

Hugs to you, as well.


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Old 04-05-2015, 09:43 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily&Me View Post
Thank you, Allyson.

When I first discovered that bread recipe, it was late fall of 2013.

Who knew that delicious, homemade bread could be made without the toil and mess of kneading, kneading, kneading.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Every time I go in or out of the house, I see life memories in my rock bed.


I have just watched a very good, but rather depressing, movie....The Other Woman, starring the very excellent Natalie Portman.


Maggie
Miss Maggie,
Great idea on the shell candles!

The memory items... I was reminded of the old Route 66, East of Amboy, CA. There are miles and miles of round rocks arranged to shape names and messages.. "Joanne loves Chachi" stuff... miles and miles... and miles.. all the way to the interstate... a most amazing and impressive sight... To think of how the whole way, was touched with the hope and love of so many... the dreams and hopes... traveling life's paths, leaving these tender reminders...

In today's world, these physical representations of our love for one another are disappearing...so, "Thanks", Maggie, ... "It is good that we remember."
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Old 04-06-2015, 12:18 PM   #32
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Grandchildren birthdays seem to cluster....why is that?

3 in a 4-week period this spring, and two within days of each other, keeping Grandma hopping to scout out and purchase approprate gifts and insure they are delivered on time.

Eldest on Doug's side graduates from high school next month, and turns 18 in June. Yikes! Doug would have liked to have seen those big events for this boy he was closest to.

There is a story some here know, about an estrangement with that family with 5 children, a severing by the parents of all contact with us, that began 4 years prior to Doug's death. He was looking forward to the oldest two there, who know us best and spent the most time with us, turning 18 and being able to choose contact.

Just by the grace, Doug's mother conceded to a 96th birthday party in December 2013, where Doug was able to see those children....and they him....for the first time in almost 4 years. Three months later, they all appeared for his funeral, and the oldest was a pallbearer. Heartbreaking, we all cried. I told them their Grandpa will continue to love and watch over them, and hope they feel that.

We began buying savings bonds for the grands in 2007, which I stopped doing last year as part of widowed-income-reduction, but each will have a nice stack to do something with when the time comes. This eldest is going to junior college in the fall, the next youngest is an honor student and most certainly will also go. Am glad the bonds will be there to help a bit, and I will also do what I can.

So, shopping for the birthdays....some here and some in Iowa....and will get things in the mail tomorrow. I made a decision some months ago to eliminate birthday gifts for the adult children....not the birthdays, just the gift, as part of widow expense reduction. All in their mid-30's to 40's, employed and well established, and there are 7 of them in addition to the 9 grands.

Makes sense, don'tcha think? It's too much, and feels more appropriate to focus on the 9 grandkids who, as they get older, have different interests and more expensive needs. Now, one is beginning college. We have never been over-indulgent with the grands, but still.....

Traveling alone, as a frugal person most of the time , has proven very inexpensive, especially groceries , and I have done some personal expense reductions, as well. I don't intend to stop traveling til I must, for whatever reason, and living within one's means is very important.

Opening the hatch of the Matrix, there sits the huge umbrella Doug bought during our first trip to New Orleans for our honeymoon in 1992. When it rains down there, the streets fill with water.

We discovered the Cafe Maspero after having to cut a walking tour of the French Quarter short due to torrential rains, and ducking in there for an early lunch. Doug ventured out to purchase an umbrella to get us back to our hotel. What men do, he would say.

Memories are everywhere, really, and that is all part of it.

One year, one month.


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Old 04-07-2015, 02:10 PM   #33
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A small plane crashed near Bloomington (twin to Normal) about 12 hours ago, killing all 7 onboard who were on their way home from a game in Indanapolis. A very big and unusual event here, with dense fog here possibly playing role in the crash. Businessmen, young fathers, ISU coach, and more. The fragility of life.


Part of my ritual of coming home is touching base with those longtime relationships which make up the fabric of my life......including those unrelated and peripheral, such as my longtime hairdresser, who has cut my hair (and watched it grey) for close to 20 years.

In for a trim this morning, we shared the good, the bad, and the ugly since we had last seen each other months ago, and she sent me home with something she had printed and framed that I admired:

The way people treat you is s statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you.

So true, and well worth reminding oneself of when something said or done hurts you to the quick.

She predicts I will keep traveling and going for a long time yet. I would like to think so.


Off to Iowa tomorrow. Doug's Mom apparently still remembers who I am and is looking forward to my visit. 97.

Then, off to Iowa City to see Doug's kids, and the grand there is going to spend Friday night with me in the Interstate.....while her busy parents have some alone time. We will watch a movie and I will make her hot chocolate in the morning. Sweet girl.

Then, parents are running in a race Saturday morning, so Grandma gets to take her to ballet lessons. Real Grandma stuff, and a relationship made of love rather than blood ties.

So looking forward to it.


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Old 04-09-2015, 02:31 PM   #34
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It still feels odd, and sad, heading out anywhere in the Interstate without Doug.

It is especially sad when I am retracing paths we were on many times together, like the trip to Iowa to see his mother and kids which we made several times a year, and always within a week or so of returning from a long trip. Lily & I now make this run by ourselves, stopping overnight at the usual halfway spot, rather than doing the 4 hour drive all at one time.

This was his home state, and his people. His have become mine thru attrition, it seems, and his memories now mine, as well, as I pass the places he spoke of so often that I know the stories by heart......the city park he sledded in during the winter and played endless innings of baseball in the summer, the roads to here and there he could drive with his eyes closed, the town square which, by his account, looks much the same as it did 50 years ago...and where Doug talked fondly of long conversations with the night cop "who helped raise me." He loved his hometown, the friends he made there, cherished, and stayed in touch with til he died.

Now, I drive thru it on the way to the cemetery, reciting all the stories to myself, as if he were there telling them one more time. I have been telling these stories to his children and grandchildren, as I want them to know them, and believe he would, as well. They weren't raised in small town Iowa, are city kids, and didn't know their Grandpa like I knew him.

On the gravel road which leads to the church and cemetery sits this structure, once a one-room schoolhouse......where Doug's mother taught. The grands, who saw this on the way to the funeral, and heard the story, could not believe such a thing ever existed.

Doug's father died the day before his 4th birthday, and one of the few memories he had of his Dad was of going to the Grace Hill Moravian Church "before we moved to town"....where they drew water from a well out back, and the bucket with a common dipper sat by the back door for all to use. No Health Department back then.

The rose bush I planted last Memorial Day has survived the winter and appears to be thriving. I trimmed, fed, and tended to it and the surrounding area.....what widows do....and added to the Edsto shells I left there last year an olive shell I had in the Interstate, as someone told me this is South Carolina's state seashell. Doug would like that.

Eugene Engel, aged 99, died last October, and is buried with other Engel's nearby. Early settlers of these parts. For anyone who has seen the video of Grace Hill Moravian Church and cemetery online, I believe this is the Engel who is pictured and who told the stories. Many Engel's are buried here, and they are the caretakers of this little cemetery.

Eugene came to Doug's funeral, Doug's mother's chidhood and lifelong friend...... the two of them clasping hands as they recognized each other.

Made a stop in Kolona at the Amish bulk food store, and for ice cream....Lily got just the tiniest bit .....and are now settled into the nice little city campground here for the night.

Will see Doug's Mom in the morning, then on to Iowa City.

Some nasty storms are predicted, but I think they should miss us. If not, i'm at the city campground in Kolona.


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Old 04-09-2015, 02:49 PM   #35
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Hi Maggie. Was reading an earlier post regarding your B vitamins.

B12, in particular, can be tough to get. You get it mainly in red meat. If you're deficient, you can have some weird symptoms. I experienced tingling feet, tingling and burning lips, burnt tongue feeling. When I tested low for B12, doctor told me to take 500-1000mg B12 per day. Within a week or so, all symptoms were gone.
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Old 04-09-2015, 02:58 PM   #36
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Thanks for that info.

I wasn't having any symptoms, other than a white coating on my tongue....did have my physician order a blood test, which showed me at the very low end of the normal range.....this after a couple of weeks of doubling my supplements.

We'll see how I do on the Biotics, which I think will replace my multi vitamin as I don't think I need both.


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Old 04-09-2015, 03:01 PM   #37
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Watching the storms and radar weather.

The bathouses are closed and there is no place to take shelter.

Cross your fingers.



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Old 04-09-2015, 03:23 PM   #38
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Lily growled at the thunder and rain.

It's mostly passed, and all is well.



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Old 04-11-2015, 01:04 PM   #39
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Maggie,
Glad you only got a wash for the AS!!!!

Lily was taking care of you!
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Old 04-11-2015, 03:01 PM   #40
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I was a bit late to your original thread so it's pretty cool for me to see you've started another one. You continue to provide inspiration for me and remain a cornerstone for my decision to hit the road. I'm glad we're along for the ride.
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