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Old 01-03-2016, 03:12 PM   #1499
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Have made some headway on readying to leave by the end of this week.....fleece and cold weather items on hangers for the little closet....it is so much colder in the Interstate than my house .... warmer weather items folded into packing cubes for storage under one of the rear benches....as one must, of course, prepare for both winter and spring when planning to be gone til early April.

Lily eyes the preparations and shopping bags I use to haul things out... knowing what they mean and thumping her tail a few times when she catches my eye. Sweet Lily.

Much still to do, and running hither and yon this week, but it has begun.


I have made a couple of New Year's resolutions, which I will not share here, lest I fail at keeping them

I will say, they are about achieving definition and balance.

I have noticed that, with the passing of time and space since Doug's death, I am starting to think some about how I want to live the remainder of my life. I never envisioned myself a widow at this age, who should still have a number of good years left.

Until he died, I had been caring for someone else continuously for 43 years, and that felt my primary role in the world.

I also had him caring for me for 27+ years.

Some redefining of me in 2016.


Maggie
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Old 01-03-2016, 03:25 PM   #1500
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Maggie,
You certainly have become adventurous! 3 months away now, in winter and spring, then a long trip west this summer/fall. If I wore a hat...I would tip it to you! Good for you. Enjoy your trips. God bless. Evelyn.
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Old 01-03-2016, 03:31 PM   #1501
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Thanks, Evelyn.......tho I was gone 3 1/2 months last winter, so not so much "becoming", but doing it differently than last year and from what Doug and I always did.

Solo is different than duo....so am carving out a new path in my new and different life.


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Old 01-03-2016, 10:28 PM   #1502
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lily&Me View Post
Thanks, Evelyn.......tho I was gone 3 1/2 months last winter, so not so much "becoming", but doing it differently than last year and from what Doug and I always did.

Solo is different than duo....so am carving out a new path in my new and different life.


Maggie
Miss Maggie, have you heard of the book "Becoming who you are" ??? We got a copy from the Bishop. It is brief...but gives some structure to becoming aware of defining ones life...it is very interesting. Would be a short read for you...
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Old 01-04-2016, 06:39 AM   #1503
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Thanks for that suggestion, Channing. I'll look for it.

It is an odd sort of transition in personal roles and who-am-I that is occurring.....from Doug's wife, to suddenly his widow, to....still his widow, but there is all this space in my primary role which must be something.

I felt acutely adrift without my paddle right after Doug died, and particularly thru that first year-and-a-half or so.....traumatized, but getting up, going thru the motions, doing what needed to be done...trying to carry on with the tasks of life and also resume travel in our beloved Interstate.

It was all necessary and critical for getting thru it.... but much more that putting-on-someone-else's-coat feeling than wearing my own, comfy and familiar one.

With time, regardless the origin of cataclysmic events that overturn one's life, the motions that hold you up eventually become your own, and begin to take shape, reflecting more you and becoming less rote.....which is why it is so important to get up every morning and try to do your life.

One foot ahead of the other, just do it. It has always gotten me thru, every time.

Me-without-him is more solidified, now....more purposeful, with changes and shifts that reflect just-me, my own primary caregiver, less this-is-what-we-always-did.

Not going to throw myself into redefinition, but to try to be open and thoughtful, more intentional overall, and to find it.


62 in the little house when I got up this morning, but I always enjoy the routine of starting a fire and feeling the living room slowly warm as I sip my coffee....curled up in my favorite chair with a blanket.

Lily to the vet for her shots this am, then volunteer-Monday this afternoon....my last for a few months.


Maggie
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Old 01-04-2016, 10:17 AM   #1504
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good morning Maggie.. sounds like you're on a roll... I so admire you... hugs and love from here, gail
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Old 01-04-2016, 10:37 AM   #1505
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Maggie,
It appears your transition is very near complete...(.from the outside looking in). Moving through life, we are always in some form of transition, and it will/or should not ever be complete.
In the short period you have had, you have certainly made major strides forward and continue to do so. You could head a support group, on how to deal with and survive the losses of sudden widowhood. You are a role model to us all...one special lady. Bless you. Evelyn.
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Old 01-04-2016, 11:12 AM   #1506
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Thank you for your support and kind words, ladies.

I have worked very hard at dealing with something I can do nothing about, and it all feels more internalized the last few months....hard to articulate, but the inner me is healing and coming together....there is less work at it, less going thru the motions, more ownership of life as it stands.

A couple of NY's resolutions, a couple of personal goals in mind for 2016....we'll see how things look a year from now.

Lily has had her shots, and been pronounced healthy.....tho still a bit on the chubby side, but then, so am I.

Seriously, am going to cut her food back a bit.

Now, if I could just rid myself of my sweet tooth, and the occasional need for Fritos.

The sun is shining here, it is a beautiful day. .


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Old 01-05-2016, 07:02 AM   #1507
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Lily's weight. I have and continue to feed my girls a non grain salmon kibble diet as well as green beans, cauliflower, broccoli and carrots all mixed in with their food. The vegetables give them more to eat, much less caloric intake and their weights remain at a healthy level, which is tough on Labs or Lab mixes as they tend to gain weight quickly. One can mix in the vegetables without changing the basic food given. We use a kibble made by an American company with all products sourced in the US, Flint River Ranch. Not cheap, but when filling in with veggies the cost is about the same as store bought.

Enjoy your trip, walks should be much more enjoyable down south.

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Old 01-05-2016, 07:09 AM   #1508
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Does your dog food brand make an "adult light" formula? Blackie eats one of those, and hasn't had a weight problem so far. As I transition her to being a house dog, I'll have to watch her weight closely.

Paceman's suggestion of including veggies in the diet is a good one, for me as well as for the dog.

Being overweight is worse for dogs than it is for us, and it's bad enough for us.
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:20 AM   #1509
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That's a good idea, Bud.

Lily loves carrots and cucumber, but I have never tried her on broccoli or cauliflower.

I am already feeding her a mix of adult and healthy weight pedigree. I can easily up the carrots, which are also fibrous and filling.

In that she was a starving dog when we found her, I cannot abide the thought of her feeling hungry.

I seldom miss a day of walking her, but my bad knees and right hip....even with the orthotics....prevent miles and miles, day after day, on the hard pavement of town life.

One of the things she loves to do is go for a bike ride with me....I ride, she runs along side....but loose, of course, not something I can do in town.

I do turn her loose and let her rip a bit, and she has my big back yard where she does the same......but, it is apparently not enough.

The doctor wasn't alarmed, just said that getting 4-5 pounds off of her would be beneficial.

I will work on it, and add more veggies.

Soon, too......we will have some beach time.


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Old 01-05-2016, 07:26 AM   #1510
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Does your dog food brand make an "adult light" formula? Blackie eats one of those, and hasn't had a weight problem so far. As I transition her to being a house dog, I'll have to watch her weight closely.

Paceman's suggestion of including veggies in the diet is a good one, for me as well as for the dog.

Being overweight is worse for dogs than it is for us, and it's bad enough for us.

I haven't gone to all healthy weight dog food....the vet suggested mixing the two.....but may do that if adding veggies doesn't do it.

When we are not traveling, her exercise routine changes, too....and we are on "down time" right now.

When traveling, I walk her usually 3 times a day, weather permitting. Home, it is once.

I need to be a better mom to this dog.


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Old 01-05-2016, 07:26 AM   #1511
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Bike riding is great, for all of us, people and dogs. Beach play is terrific, our puppy loves it but unfortunately drinks the whole time, has a major blow out and then done. Have not had the new member to the beach yet.

Have a Safe Trip

Bud
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Old 01-05-2016, 07:32 AM   #1512
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Lily doesn't drink the sea water, tho especially when she was younger had to taste everything....including sand and seawater.

She was starving and foraging when we found her, and still forages as if she doesn't know when or whether she will next eat.

I have to watch her when we are out....she tastes and tries to eat odd things to see if they will provide sustenance, I think.


Maggie
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